Weary woman
Dribble flash fiction contest.19 total reviews
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Mary What a sad but well written flash fiction great title and you captured the lonliness of the woman really well This should do very well I will keep my eye out Good luck Cheers Christine
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Hi Mary What a sad but well written flash fiction great title and you captured the lonliness of the woman really well This should do very well I will keep my eye out Good luck Cheers Christine
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thanks Chrissy for the great review and excellent comments, much appreciated, Mary
Comment from The Death
This is a very touching story! It captures the loneliness of that old woman so well. I liked the contrast you developed between her past and present! Nice reference to the singing birds! It's sad how she has to live alone now, even after having nine children. You have narrated her condition very well. This should do well in the contest
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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This is a very touching story! It captures the loneliness of that old woman so well. I liked the contrast you developed between her past and present! Nice reference to the singing birds! It's sad how she has to live alone now, even after having nine children. You have narrated her condition very well. This should do well in the contest
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thanks for the excellent review and comments, I am pleased you enjoyed it. Mary
Comment from LoannaLois
You know, this has a mystery...a kind of air of
Wonder about it. How many have those thoughts crossed our, or our elders' minds? Nice writing.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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You know, this has a mystery...a kind of air of
Wonder about it. How many have those thoughts crossed our, or our elders' minds? Nice writing.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Hi Loanna
I am so delighted that you really liked my short story of 50 words. I appreciate your six stars, Mary
Comment from Unspoken94
I don't know anything about this contest and I don't
care. This piece just spoke to me. It is such a tribute
to all those who loved us and let us go. You touched
a part of my life that I need to give thanks for. -bill
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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I don't know anything about this contest and I don't
care. This piece just spoke to me. It is such a tribute
to all those who loved us and let us go. You touched
a part of my life that I need to give thanks for. -bill
Comment Written 08-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Hi Bill,
Thank you so much for the exceptional review of my short piece. I am so happy that you felt it spoke to you,
Mary
Comment from Teri7
This is a very good Dribble Flash Fiction you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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This is a very good Dribble Flash Fiction you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive wording and very good imagery. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 06-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thanks Teri for the excellent review I am pleased you like it. Mary
Comment from emptypage
God, how sad!!
I totally get it, though. I'm nowhere near eight-eight, but I understand being separated from loved ones. I understand loneliness. And I certainly understand the desire to escape.
Well written. Evokes a lot of emotion. Impressive dribble. Good luck.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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God, how sad!!
I totally get it, though. I'm nowhere near eight-eight, but I understand being separated from loved ones. I understand loneliness. And I certainly understand the desire to escape.
Well written. Evokes a lot of emotion. Impressive dribble. Good luck.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thanks for your great review, Mary
Comment from Joan E.
This is only the second example of the Dribble Flash Fiction that I've read, and it is intriguing. The woman you describe sounds like many of our mothers and grandmothers. Best wishes in the contest- Joan
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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This is only the second example of the Dribble Flash Fiction that I've read, and it is intriguing. The woman you describe sounds like many of our mothers and grandmothers. Best wishes in the contest- Joan
Comment Written 06-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thanks Joan, for your excellent review I am pleased you like it, Mary
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
This is a good read.
Lovely title, 'Weary Woman'- It grabs the reader's attention.
I would love to see it in a short story or longer length.
Exceptional artwork.- Beautiful image of the elderly woman.
-My maternal great grandmother lived to be 92 and my paternal great grandmother was 94 when she died.
Thanks for sharing it.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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This is a good read.
Lovely title, 'Weary Woman'- It grabs the reader's attention.
I would love to see it in a short story or longer length.
Exceptional artwork.- Beautiful image of the elderly woman.
-My maternal great grandmother lived to be 92 and my paternal great grandmother was 94 when she died.
Thanks for sharing it.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 06-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thanks Nikki I agree with you that is could make a longer story, but I was only allowed 50 words, I appreciate your excellent review, Mary
Comment from Mustang Patty
Thank you for sharing your dribble flash fiction with us. The story told is one that seems to happen way too often. Parents work hard to raise their families only to find themselves alone,
~patty~
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thank you for sharing your dribble flash fiction with us. The story told is one that seems to happen way too often. Parents work hard to raise their families only to find themselves alone,
~patty~
Comment Written 06-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thank you patty for the excellent review and comments, Mary
Comment from LaRosa
I can feel her loneliness. You did this well.
What a sad commentary on what we do to our elderly. She gave more than life, she gave joy. My heart breaks for her.
I only noticed a couple of things you may want to look at:
Perhaps after "Ninety eight" you could put a period. Then start a new sentence. Or, just a comma...
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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I can feel her loneliness. You did this well.
What a sad commentary on what we do to our elderly. She gave more than life, she gave joy. My heart breaks for her.
I only noticed a couple of things you may want to look at:
Perhaps after "Ninety eight" you could put a period. Then start a new sentence. Or, just a comma...
Comment Written 06-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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Thanks for the excellent review and helpful comment, Mary