My Book of Poems 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Solitary"a collection of my poetry
62 total reviews
Comment from sunnilicious
The picture coupled with poem makes this a maddening read. Being alone can mess you if you're not occupied with things to do. Well thought out and nicely written. Good S-word alliteration. Nice work :)
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
The picture coupled with poem makes this a maddening read. Being alone can mess you if you're not occupied with things to do. Well thought out and nicely written. Good S-word alliteration. Nice work :)
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
-
Thank you for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement,
~patty~
Comment from dragonpoet
It sound more like lonely not solitary. You shouldn't wait, you should get out and seek what to need to find the serenity at the end of the poem.
This is one of the harder forms I have tried, even though it is short.
You did a good job.
Keep writing.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
It sound more like lonely not solitary. You shouldn't wait, you should get out and seek what to need to find the serenity at the end of the poem.
This is one of the harder forms I have tried, even though it is short.
You did a good job.
Keep writing.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
-
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful review. I appreciate your comments and encouragement. I found this difficult to write, too.
~patty~
-
You're welcome.
dragonpoet
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good contest entry. You should create a style on this style. Stanzas that begin with the same letter. It would be a good one.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
A very good contest entry. You should create a style on this style. Stanzas that begin with the same letter. It would be a good one.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
-
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful review. I appreciate your comments and encouragement,
~patty~
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Pleiades poem. The format rules are followed petfectly. Solitary had its pros and cons. We just have to find the balance in everything we do.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
A very well-written Pleiades poem. The format rules are followed petfectly. Solitary had its pros and cons. We just have to find the balance in everything we do.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
-
Hi Sandra; Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful review. I appreciate your comments and encouragement. I'm always pleased to read one of your comments. I admire your work a great deal, so I'm always happy to see how you feel about something I write,
~patty~
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I am, for the most part, a shut-in. I was very lonely for several years. I have figured out how to get out a bit and Fanstory really helps with the isolation. You portrayed the feelings well, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
I am, for the most part, a shut-in. I was very lonely for several years. I have figured out how to get out a bit and Fanstory really helps with the isolation. You portrayed the feelings well, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
-
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful review. I appreciate your comments and encouragement,
~patty~
Comment from Nan Beeson
Re your Pleiades poem, "Solitary," thank you for explaining it in your author's notes....
Stuck on this couch alone
Sitting, waiting, for what?
Silence surrounds the room
Sanity held onto
Simply walk to the door
Suppose for a moment
Serenity awaits
I see that you followed all the rules and found it to be full of great imagery and Wisdom. My favorite line was...
"Silence surrounds the room"
Silence to me means peace and serenity and not having interruptions from the outside world often filled with greed and self gratification.
Thank you for sharing it, I so resonated with it.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
Re your Pleiades poem, "Solitary," thank you for explaining it in your author's notes....
Stuck on this couch alone
Sitting, waiting, for what?
Silence surrounds the room
Sanity held onto
Simply walk to the door
Suppose for a moment
Serenity awaits
I see that you followed all the rules and found it to be full of great imagery and Wisdom. My favorite line was...
"Silence surrounds the room"
Silence to me means peace and serenity and not having interruptions from the outside world often filled with greed and self gratification.
Thank you for sharing it, I so resonated with it.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
-
Hi Nan; Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your wonderful words and encouragement,
~patty~
-
You are welcome Patty. It was a joy to read....Nan:))
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
Great artwork.
Beautiful image of the couch.
Good background color choice.
Love the lines, 'Stuck on this couch alone... Sitting, waiting, for what?'
Good title.
Good author's notes.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
Great artwork.
Beautiful image of the couch.
Good background color choice.
Love the lines, 'Stuck on this couch alone... Sitting, waiting, for what?'
Good title.
Good author's notes.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
-
Hi Nikki; Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your wonderful words and encouragement,
~patty~
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
This Pleiades paints the picture of being alone wonderfully.
The expectation of a visitor, the waiting, the silence.
Absolutely fantastic Patty, loved it.
Have a lovely evening
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
This Pleiades paints the picture of being alone wonderfully.
The expectation of a visitor, the waiting, the silence.
Absolutely fantastic Patty, loved it.
Have a lovely evening
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
-
Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your wonderful words and encouragement. The lovely six star rating was icing on the cake,
~patty~
Comment from nuthead
Nice alliteration and assonance thrown in with all the S's (required for this form). Lovely.
Waiting / what
Silence / surrounds
Suppose / moment
I like the theme, and think it's a good one. I think your lines are worded correctly, but a small suggestion? Add punctuation for intended stops, pauses, etc. This will ensure your intended meanings are clear.
For instance:
Stuck on this couch alone,
Sitting, waiting, for what?
Silence surrounds the room,
Sanity held onto.
Simply walk to the door --
Suppose for a moment,
Serenity awaits.
Well done. Enjoyed!
Great picture choice, too!
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
Nice alliteration and assonance thrown in with all the S's (required for this form). Lovely.
Waiting / what
Silence / surrounds
Suppose / moment
I like the theme, and think it's a good one. I think your lines are worded correctly, but a small suggestion? Add punctuation for intended stops, pauses, etc. This will ensure your intended meanings are clear.
For instance:
Stuck on this couch alone,
Sitting, waiting, for what?
Silence surrounds the room,
Sanity held onto.
Simply walk to the door --
Suppose for a moment,
Serenity awaits.
Well done. Enjoyed!
Great picture choice, too!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
-
Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your wonderful words and encouragement. I often wonder about punctuation in poetry. I will go back and add clarity for the reader.
~patty~
Comment from MaggieF
Enjoyed this thought provoking poem, I'm learning so many different styles on here. I can feel the energy needed to get off the sofa, when life throws problems at you it is sometimes hard to get up and move on. I love the positivity of the last line, what if? MaggieF
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
Enjoyed this thought provoking poem, I'm learning so many different styles on here. I can feel the energy needed to get off the sofa, when life throws problems at you it is sometimes hard to get up and move on. I love the positivity of the last line, what if? MaggieF
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
-
Hi Maggie; Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your wonderful words and encouragement,
~patty~