Comment from jusylee72

Excellent

Wonderful poem. I love the alliteration. You pick your words well and they tell a story of strength. Even with all the s's it doesn't seem contrived. I enjoyed it thank you.

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017

---

reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017

thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. Poetry doesn't come as easy as a short story or novella, so I appreciate your stars and kind words,
~patty~

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Patty. very nice work here. You capture the feeling of isolation so well in this poetry. You have picked the perfect art wrok to go with it too, my friend. The flowers are probably artificial too. Blessings, Good job. Bob

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017

---

reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017

Hi Bob; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. Poetry doesn't come as easy as a short story or novella, so I appreciate your stars and kind words,
~patty~

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

Mustangpatty1029,

Short, sweet and clean...just like I like them! This poem was arranged very well.
I have never seen this style before, to my knowledge. You did a wonderful job with it. The flow was nice. The artwork complements your poem.

I saw no SPAG and no typos. Everything looked in place.

You wrote this one very well.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017

---

reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017

Hi Camille; thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. Poetry doesn't come as easy as a short story or novella, so I appreciate your stars and kind words,
~patty~

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

This is a well done pleiades poem. It does exactly what was described in the notes. There is an anxiety and second guessing oneself (walking to the door, supposing) hence, there is still waiting for "serenity."

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017

---

reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017

thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. Poetry doesn't come as easy as a short story or novella, so I appreciate your stars and kind words,
~patty~

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

A lovely Pleiades poem Miss Patty, though it's a form I'm not at all familiar with, I like this. Yes, this does give the feel of lonely, but...as you said, 'Serenity may await.' Lovely, blessings...

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017

Thank you for stopping by to read and review. This was a fun format to write, but it took a lot of thought to weave the lines together. I appreciate your encouraging comments,
~patty~

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Profoundly sad, your poem, Patty. The picture you chose of a drippy, wet window, enhances the deep-felt loneliness of this piece. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017

Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. This poetic form was a bit more difficult to write than most. It was a struggle to weave all of the 'S' words together in a meaningful way. Your encouraging words make it all worthwhile,
~patty~

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

I think your poem shows the loneliness of self-imposed seclusion rather well. Too much alone with our own thoughts, we sometimes fail to see that there is a door to the room, and that we can in fact go out into the wider world and find a truer sense of equilibrium there. There can be serenity in solitude, but not much in loneliness. The form of the Pleiades poem fits your theme rather well with the repeated sibilance of the first words, which give a feeling of softness and the quietness of the secluded room.

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017

Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. Your thorough and concise review of this poem allow me to step back and take a look at my work from a different angle. I appreciate your thoughtful words of encouragement,
~patty~

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

Not heard of this type of Haiku before Patty. Your poem paints a picture of loneliness but also the fear of leaving the room too, the art work is perfect too, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017

Hi Dolly; thank you for stopping by to read and review. This poetic form was one that Pantygynt made me familiar with. It was more difficult than I thought it would be to write. I appreciate your words of encouragement,
~patty~

Comment from CD Richards

Excellent

You've kept to the form really well, and I think you've done an excellent job of portraying how lonely life can be for some. "Simply walk to the door" is what we on the outside can see is the solution, but unfortunately it's seldom as simple for the shut-in. Nice job with this, thanks for sharing. Craig

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017

Hi Craig; thank you for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your encouraging comments. This was one of the tougher poetic forms I've tried my hand at.
~patty~

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Your Pleiades poem is excellent. The reader definitely has the feeling of solitude expressed both through your words and the lonely presentation. Thank you for sharing the form requirements. I will try writing one. Marilyn

 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017

---

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017

Marilyn; thank you for stopping by to read and review my try at a pleiades. It was a fun write! I'm glad you are going to try one. It will be a good entry for the daily poem.
~patty~

reply by BeasPeas on 04-Apr-2017

I agree, Patty. I'm behind two poems, and DO have to catch up. Marilyn