Those eyes
senryu contest7 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
Thank you for this lovely senryu. The syllable count is right, and I appreciated your 'pun.' The presentation works well, and the subject is one of eternal praise,
~patty~
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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Thank you for this lovely senryu. The syllable count is right, and I appreciated your 'pun.' The presentation works well, and the subject is one of eternal praise,
~patty~
Comment Written 06-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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Wow! Thank you Patty for this most inspiring review my friend.
God bless!
Steve
Comment from emptypage
Haha, this is the first time I can't fuss at someone about the difference between "peeked" and "piqued" (not to mention "peaked," lol) because you have those eyes!!! I'm an English teacher when I'm not writing, so the urge is always in my brain.
Well done. You've got my vote.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Haha, this is the first time I can't fuss at someone about the difference between "peeked" and "piqued" (not to mention "peaked," lol) because you have those eyes!!! I'm an English teacher when I'm not writing, so the urge is always in my brain.
Well done. You've got my vote.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Awe! Thank you emptypage for this incredible review with vote in hand. I do love my play on words.
God bless!
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ah...it took me a moment.
"Peaked" (or the proper usage in this instance), verses peeked ( for the double entendre), I get it, LOL...
Very witty and clever.
Your syllable count is perfect too, well within the limits set for senryu.
You got my vote!
Best of luck the rest of the way...
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Ah...it took me a moment.
"Peaked" (or the proper usage in this instance), verses peeked ( for the double entendre), I get it, LOL...
Very witty and clever.
Your syllable count is perfect too, well within the limits set for senryu.
You got my vote!
Best of luck the rest of the way...
~Dean :}
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Dean! Your vote is most welcome my friend. Thank you for the awesome review.
God bless!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Good job, my friend. Your syllable count is correct and the emotion is love. Your connection between lines one and two are good.
Well done my friend. Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Good job, my friend. Your syllable count is correct and the emotion is love. Your connection between lines one and two are good.
Well done my friend. Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Thank you Gypsy for the awesome review.
God bless!
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written senyru you have penned for the prompt. You used very good descriptive wording and the picture went so well with it. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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This is a very well written senyru you have penned for the prompt. You used very good descriptive wording and the picture went so well with it. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the awesome review Teri.
God bless!
Comment from rspoet
This is a fine entry for the senryu contest
with the exact syllables of the traditional form at 5-7-5
Excellent imagery in the eyes
and nice third line linking back to sight
Perfect picture to match
Well done
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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This is a fine entry for the senryu contest
with the exact syllables of the traditional form at 5-7-5
Excellent imagery in the eyes
and nice third line linking back to sight
Perfect picture to match
Well done
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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Thank you rspoet for the awesome review,.
God bless!
Comment from nuthead
Love at first sight. Not sure I believe in that concept but makes for romantic stories and poetry. :) Is "peeked" a play on words? That the eyes peeked/piqued my curiosity. Neat.
Small typo in the first line: afar is one word.
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Those eyes from a far
peeked my curiosity
'twas love at first sight
###
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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Love at first sight. Not sure I believe in that concept but makes for romantic stories and poetry. :) Is "peeked" a play on words? That the eyes peeked/piqued my curiosity. Neat.
Small typo in the first line: afar is one word.
###
Those eyes from a far
peeked my curiosity
'twas love at first sight
###
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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Ha! Yes it's afar lol. Not sure how that got away from my line of sight. And yes, peeked is a play on words. I love that you got that. I fear many won't. Thank you for the awesome review.
God bless!
Steve
