Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "haiku (overgrowth of vines)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
16 total reviews
Comment from zanya
This Haiku flows beautifully - rolls off the tongue -lovely alliterative and 'c' and 't' sounds and captures the effect of the passing of time in a concrete format
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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This Haiku flows beautifully - rolls off the tongue -lovely alliterative and 'c' and 't' sounds and captures the effect of the passing of time in a concrete format
Comment Written 06-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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Thank you 'Z':)
Comment from Joan E.
Your haiku is very visual and I could easily imagine the scene. I admired your use of alliteration to intensify the message. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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Your haiku is very visual and I could easily imagine the scene. I admired your use of alliteration to intensify the message. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 05-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
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Thank you Joan:)
Comment from sunnilicious
Great visual imagery. The vines are prettier than trees. I hate to see it especially on the sidewalks. You look for a wrecking ball and see a tree. Good alliteration with C and T Words. Nice work :)
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Great visual imagery. The vines are prettier than trees. I hate to see it especially on the sidewalks. You look for a wrecking ball and see a tree. Good alliteration with C and T Words. Nice work :)
Comment Written 05-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Thank you:)
Comment from honeytree
the colours are great
for these great words
that have been written.
the overgrowth of the vines
can be a problem enjoyed reading.
honey tree
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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the colours are great
for these great words
that have been written.
the overgrowth of the vines
can be a problem enjoyed reading.
honey tree
Comment Written 05-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Thank you for the review and gift of the six stars:)
Comment from IndianaIrish
Great imagery with an abundance of vines overtaking a crumbling brick wall, Teresa. Your satori is thought-provoking and loved the alliteration. Great form for the chAllenge.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Great imagery with an abundance of vines overtaking a crumbling brick wall, Teresa. Your satori is thought-provoking and loved the alliteration. Great form for the chAllenge.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Thank you Karyn:)
Comment from Janet Foor
I have planted ivy and I know had those vines can take over. Additionally, you can't get rid of them. They do consume the wall, the walk, the hillside.
Excellent satori line to complete this well written haiku.
Well done Teresa
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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I have planted ivy and I know had those vines can take over. Additionally, you can't get rid of them. They do consume the wall, the walk, the hillside.
Excellent satori line to complete this well written haiku.
Well done Teresa
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Thank you Janet:)
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello my friend I liked this it is full of imagery and paints a scene well there used to be a house not far from where I lived covered in ivy you could hardly see the house well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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Hello my friend I liked this it is full of imagery and paints a scene well there used to be a house not far from where I lived covered in ivy you could hardly see the house well done regards Jill
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
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It does tend to take over. Thanks Jill:)
Comment from rama devi
Hello, dear Teresa. This is a striking image and well portrayed with super word economy and superb alliteration of C and T. I like the satori. I am giving five stars, but it does have one glaring spag nit in that overgrowth is singular...and the verb acts on that word. So it needs an 's' on consume. Example edit:
overgrowth of vines
consumes crumbling brick wall
tangled in time
Excellent consonance of M as well.
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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Hello, dear Teresa. This is a striking image and well portrayed with super word economy and superb alliteration of C and T. I like the satori. I am giving five stars, but it does have one glaring spag nit in that overgrowth is singular...and the verb acts on that word. So it needs an 's' on consume. Example edit:
overgrowth of vines
consumes crumbling brick wall
tangled in time
Excellent consonance of M as well.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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Thank you for pointing out the spag. I will get it changed right now.
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:-))) Always happy to help.
Thanks for your gracious response.
Love, rd
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Teresa - a good descriptive haiku which tells a true story of what a vine can do to a wall. Written in present time which is a prerequisite of haiku, describes a moment. I am not sure you have captured the season but I like the haiku. Good addition to the book - regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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Hi Teresa - a good descriptive haiku which tells a true story of what a vine can do to a wall. Written in present time which is a prerequisite of haiku, describes a moment. I am not sure you have captured the season but I like the haiku. Good addition to the book - regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 04-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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Vine captures the kigo (season) according Haiku experts--it has a meaning of 'all summer'. Thanks so much:)
Comment from Lulube
great imagery, so many old brick type and wooden walls have been taken over by the green leafed vine that seems to out live everything around it. lol
I struggled a bit over the last though, whether it should be tangled in time or tangled by time
great haiku
lulube
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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great imagery, so many old brick type and wooden walls have been taken over by the green leafed vine that seems to out live everything around it. lol
I struggled a bit over the last though, whether it should be tangled in time or tangled by time
great haiku
lulube
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much my friend:)
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welcome,
lulube
