The Escort
How did this happen.9 total reviews
Comment from schatzling
Quite a remarkable piece of writing. You had me at the edge of my seat wanting not to miss a single beat. My time for writing has almost seized let alone my time for reading any writing at all. My health has really been keeping me from doing much of anything except trying to get better but that is at a pace slower than the slowest snail.
However, today I just wanted to feel close to you somehow; therefore, I just had to read a work of yours and type a few words.
I have already overdone it...my body is telling me so.
I must go rest now.
Know I think of you often and miss you terribly.
Take care my friend....hope to be back one day in the writing world that is....
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Quite a remarkable piece of writing. You had me at the edge of my seat wanting not to miss a single beat. My time for writing has almost seized let alone my time for reading any writing at all. My health has really been keeping me from doing much of anything except trying to get better but that is at a pace slower than the slowest snail.
However, today I just wanted to feel close to you somehow; therefore, I just had to read a work of yours and type a few words.
I have already overdone it...my body is telling me so.
I must go rest now.
Know I think of you often and miss you terribly.
Take care my friend....hope to be back one day in the writing world that is....
Comment Written 12-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2017
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Schatzling, I
would love to talk to you. What is wrong with your health? What is hurting you so much? I would love to actually talk to you. My phone number is 210 695 6383.. If you would like to talk call me. I will listen. So many stories are in your heart waiting to be told. Take care and know that I am thinking about you.
Comment from sheena121
A truly realsitic story I'm sure a lot of escorts say the same phrase a lot of the time. Good choice of language, written well and an interesting read. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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A truly realsitic story I'm sure a lot of escorts say the same phrase a lot of the time. Good choice of language, written well and an interesting read. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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thank you so much, It is sadly realistic when we don't teach our children how beautiful they really are thank y ou for reading
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You are welcome.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
The unfortunate thing about your story is that it is true to life for some. Well told, mostly through dialogue, and a great choice for this starting sentence provided.
Good luck in the contest,
cheers,
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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The unfortunate thing about your story is that it is true to life for some. Well told, mostly through dialogue, and a great choice for this starting sentence provided.
Good luck in the contest,
cheers,
Comment Written 08-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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thank you pearl. Yes the dialogue is so evil, so conniving and takes away so much of the girl's confidence. We need our children to know they are beautiful whether they are overweight or not.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'The Escort' is an EXCELLENT READ!
Very well-written.
Nicely polished.
Great dialogue.
I see no need for improvement.
The image is lovely and fits the story perfectly.
Thanks for sharing it.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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'The Escort' is an EXCELLENT READ!
Very well-written.
Nicely polished.
Great dialogue.
I see no need for improvement.
The image is lovely and fits the story perfectly.
Thanks for sharing it.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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thank you so much. Flash fiction is interesting to write.
Comment from loismddavis
you certainly fulfilled the prompt with some fine writing. Indeed there was no one to stop her when a pimp spotted a very vulnerable girl. The backhanded compliments were priceless and her acceptance pitiful. We should love our children more plump or thin or pretty or plain whatever, and then they would not be so vulnerable. You have expressed this perfectly.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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you certainly fulfilled the prompt with some fine writing. Indeed there was no one to stop her when a pimp spotted a very vulnerable girl. The backhanded compliments were priceless and her acceptance pitiful. We should love our children more plump or thin or pretty or plain whatever, and then they would not be so vulnerable. You have expressed this perfectly.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much. I agree with you. They must feel beautiful to be beautiful in their own eyes. I love the way you put it.
Comment from chcbeck
A great contest entry. I love the pace of the story and the build up and twist at the end, from victim to murderer. Gripped from start to finish. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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A great contest entry. I love the pace of the story and the build up and twist at the end, from victim to murderer. Gripped from start to finish. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much. Poor girl really needed someone to tell her she was beautiful the way she was. Thank you for your encouragement.
Comment from MLEaton
Wow! This is great. Very well-written, tight prose that really draws the reader in.. just like the protagonist. Flash fiction at its best intriguing and fascinating. Good luck in the contest. Marion:)
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Wow! This is great. Very well-written, tight prose that really draws the reader in.. just like the protagonist. Flash fiction at its best intriguing and fascinating. Good luck in the contest. Marion:)
Comment Written 07-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much. I truly appreciate you input. It was fun to write.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
You did a good job with this contest entry. Quite an original take on this one I think. Generally well written with a good voice in the narrator.
It was every man truly wants - it is/was what every man...
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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Hi there,
You did a good job with this contest entry. Quite an original take on this one I think. Generally well written with a good voice in the narrator.
It was every man truly wants - it is/was what every man...
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Always a compliment when it comes from you. You have to admit you are having to correct a little less than the first time you helped me. lol. Wow, I will never forget the first time. I changed tenses constantly. I couldn't spell and I had no idea how to use quotation marks. Life gets better.
Judy
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Comment from RodG
This story's conclusion is predictable; nevertheless, we find ourselves feeling sorry for the narrator who allows herself to be conned because she, up till she met her "mentor" had little going for her--I.e.--physically she was maybe a 2 on a 10-point scale. I Ike how you use HIS dialog to show us how she was seduced.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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This story's conclusion is predictable; nevertheless, we find ourselves feeling sorry for the narrator who allows herself to be conned because she, up till she met her "mentor" had little going for her--I.e.--physically she was maybe a 2 on a 10-point scale. I Ike how you use HIS dialog to show us how she was seduced.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
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thank you, yes while predictable it is true how she is seduced. I so appreciate your words. Excellent review.
