Unleashed Chaos
Viewing comments for Prologue "Unleashed Chaos"A Novel of the Breedline Series
8 total reviews
Comment from Natali Holden
Your characters are well made. I care for Lisa. What she experienced, I feel so terrible for her. I don't even feel bad at all for the doctors and people that worked there when she became Lilith. There's only one thing I would change, but it is just a suggestion and you can keep it like it is if you want. "Lilith closed her eyes, unable to bear the memory (no) more." I would change no to any. Lovely prologue!
Natali ;)
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
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Your characters are well made. I care for Lisa. What she experienced, I feel so terrible for her. I don't even feel bad at all for the doctors and people that worked there when she became Lilith. There's only one thing I would change, but it is just a suggestion and you can keep it like it is if you want. "Lilith closed her eyes, unable to bear the memory (no) more." I would change no to any. Lovely prologue!
Natali ;)
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
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Thanks again, Natali! :)
I'm so excited you like my characters. I've been writing about them for so long, they are like my family. :)
You'll find that Lilith has a score to settle with the cruel physicians that made her what she is.
Thanks again,
Shana :)
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You're welcome! I love all my characters too after finishing a story. I learn to care about them, even the villains for some reason.
Natali ;)
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LOL! So glad to hear someone else is attached to their characters. I like my main villains too. When I get feedback from readers pleading for me to kill them off, I flip their personality around and inspire the reader to like them. HA! Funny :)
Comment from ngage
Shana, you have outdone yourself. This is art in its true form. Your writing skills are outstanding. I love the way you brought Lisa into the story and transformed her into Lilith. I cannot wait to read more. You left me needing to find out what will happen to her. Now you have me wondering if her baby girl is Tessa in your story. If so, Lisa would be her mother and she has a twin brother, too. Very interesting and quiet clever. I will definitely follow this. Great writing!
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017
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Shana, you have outdone yourself. This is art in its true form. Your writing skills are outstanding. I love the way you brought Lisa into the story and transformed her into Lilith. I cannot wait to read more. You left me needing to find out what will happen to her. Now you have me wondering if her baby girl is Tessa in your story. If so, Lisa would be her mother and she has a twin brother, too. Very interesting and quiet clever. I will definitely follow this. Great writing!
Comment Written 30-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2017
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Thank you ngage! :)
You're awesome! So glad you enjoyed the prologue to my third series. This is so exciting. I hope to keep you entertained.
Thanks again my friend,
Shana :)
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You're welcome! Looking forward to each post.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I usually don't read fantasy fiction, but this promises to be interesting. I will try to follow the story. Your writing style is superb.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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I usually don't read fantasy fiction, but this promises to be interesting. I will try to follow the story. Your writing style is superb.
Comment Written 29-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much Thomas! :)
What a wonderful compliment. You just made my day. I promise to do my best to entertain you. :) This fiction fantasy is full of action, drama, romance and more! Thanks again for taking the time to read my post.
Shana :)
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Shana,
How exciting is this!!! Lisa changing to Lilith - so creative.
The prologue to a new story - A great start to your third??
Book, is it?
You are one talented lady, my friend. Looking forward to the first chapter.
Blessings,
Margaret
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Shana,
How exciting is this!!! Lisa changing to Lilith - so creative.
The prologue to a new story - A great start to your third??
Book, is it?
You are one talented lady, my friend. Looking forward to the first chapter.
Blessings,
Margaret
Comment Written 29-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Margaret! :)
This is my third series of the Novels of the Breedline. I've finished it and now I'm doing a lot of editing before I send it to the publishing company. I love posting my chapters on FanStory. I do get helpful advice here. Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to read my prologue. I did enjoy creating Lilith. She will play a big part in the book and with my Breedline characters. I'm excited to get this series out there to readers. I have learned so much from reviewers and my writing has improved with each book. Thanks again!
Shana :)
Comment from DonandVicki
I was In Berkley about that time frame. The story resonated with me because I could put myself back in that time frame. I look forward to more. Don and Vicki
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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I was In Berkley about that time frame. The story resonated with me because I could put myself back in that time frame. I look forward to more. Don and Vicki
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the generous rating :)
This was so exciting to write. This prologue takes the reader back in time. Lisa is a character I have enjoyed creating. She is going to be a big part of my third book as she interacts with my Breedline characters. Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I hope to keep you entertained.
Shana :)
Comment from mmonaghan777
This is intriguing. I will be waiting for more. The change from Lisa to Lilith was hard enough with her frozen heart but the memories never left. I can't wait to read more.
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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This is intriguing. I will be waiting for more. The change from Lisa to Lilith was hard enough with her frozen heart but the memories never left. I can't wait to read more.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2017
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Thank you! :)
Yes, Lisa transforming into Lilith was exciting to create. She will play a big part in this third series. I wanted to take the reader back in time to tell her story. Thanks again for your great feedback.
Shana :)
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. I have read some of the previous chapters you wrote about the Breedline characters. The story is interesting and entertaining. I will watch for more.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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Excellent. I have read some of the previous chapters you wrote about the Breedline characters. The story is interesting and entertaining. I will watch for more.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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Thank you! :)
So good to hear from you again. Your review and kind words are very inspiring my friend. I hope to keep entertaining you to come back for more.
Thanks again,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
This is a very sad episode Shana, completely sad and interesting, Lilith/Lisa, escapes the mad men's institution of experimentation, where experiments are carried out by inhuman nazi like doctors, Autenburgh and Crane. She is recaptured, but manages to save her daughter, but not her rescuer David. They turn her into something inhuman. Autenburgh is eventually killed by a vengeful Lilith, but Crane escapes, what's happened to her twins. And she's been turned heaven knows what. You've set yourself a task here dear Shana! You have a clever mind. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo comply with their physical (tortue). Torture?
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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This is a very sad episode Shana, completely sad and interesting, Lilith/Lisa, escapes the mad men's institution of experimentation, where experiments are carried out by inhuman nazi like doctors, Autenburgh and Crane. She is recaptured, but manages to save her daughter, but not her rescuer David. They turn her into something inhuman. Autenburgh is eventually killed by a vengeful Lilith, but Crane escapes, what's happened to her twins. And she's been turned heaven knows what. You've set yourself a task here dear Shana! You have a clever mind. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo comply with their physical (tortue). Torture?
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Roy! :)
So glad you caught this episode. I had so much fun writing this prologue for the beginning of my third series. This will give you some background information on what's to come. If you noticed, one of Lisa's twin is named Tessa. You will find out what Tessa I'm referring too later in the story. Your feedback is a blessing and truly my inspiration to entertain readers with my story. Thanks for catching the typo. I did notice that today & I almost forgot about it until you reminded me. You're awesome!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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No, I was wondering about the Tessa in this story, same one huh? Well done, great start, dear girl, Roy
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Yes it is. Later, you'll find out about her past and much more. :)
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What a good idea, Shana, well done love, Roy
