My Book of Poems 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "My son, my friend"a collection of my poetry
72 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is an interesting prompt as senryu are poems which have irony or satire, they are not odes. Not your fault unless you started the contest. A well written poem (although not really a senryu0, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
  |
This is an interesting prompt as senryu are poems which have irony or satire, they are not odes. Not your fault unless you started the contest. A well written poem (although not really a senryu0, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
thank you for you kind review
Comment from flylikeaneagle
What a beautiful honor to this handsome son and friend. I like the
spirits are joined together. Keep smiling and treasure the friendships.
flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
What a beautiful honor to this handsome son and friend. I like the
spirits are joined together. Keep smiling and treasure the friendships.
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
thank you for you kind review
Comment from Thal1959
Very well composed. This speaks of the universal attachment parents and children have. I hope the word "flown" in the second line means he's living somewhere else, not deceased.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
Very well composed. This speaks of the universal attachment parents and children have. I hope the word "flown" in the second line means he's living somewhere else, not deceased.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
thank you for your thoughtful review
-
You're welcome.
Comment from wondertwin
A lot said in few words... very well done. It pulls ever so gently at the heart strings. Strong finish to your Senryu poem! Blessings, AmyJo
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
A lot said in few words... very well done. It pulls ever so gently at the heart strings. Strong finish to your Senryu poem! Blessings, AmyJo
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
thank you for your wonderful review
Comment from tfawcus
Kinship can be the strongest bond of all and the love of a parent for his or her child is one that can never be broken - not even by death. This is a unity that transcends borders.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
Kinship can be the strongest bond of all and the love of a parent for his or her child is one that can never be broken - not even by death. This is a unity that transcends borders.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
thank you for your wonderful review
Comment from Bill O'Bier
I believe that the most important resource we have is our kids. And I think the most important thing for America's future is to invest more in our children. Thanks for the wonderful tribute to your son.
Bill
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
I believe that the most important resource we have is our kids. And I think the most important thing for America's future is to invest more in our children. Thanks for the wonderful tribute to your son.
Bill
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
thank you for your wonderful review
Comment from kahpot
What a marvelous piece you have written and you have honored your son/friend admirably an excellent poem and artwork good luck in your competition****kahpot
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
What a marvelous piece you have written and you have honored your son/friend admirably an excellent poem and artwork good luck in your competition****kahpot
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
thank you for your wonderful review
Comment from MrTerence
Looks like a fine young man, and I can tell you are close. Someone probably told you already, but the second line has only six syllables. Not sure, but I think you can only count one syllable for our. Excellent otherwise!
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
Looks like a fine young man, and I can tell you are close. Someone probably told you already, but the second line has only six syllables. Not sure, but I think you can only count one syllable for our. Excellent otherwise!
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
Thank you for your review
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
My beloved son (add kireji)
Through time our souls have flown <>For all time, we're joined (the connection is not clear)
I would change it a little bit to improve the flow and get rid of time, repeating words in such a small poem ...
My beloved son,
our souls have flown together --
eternally (5/7/4)
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
My beloved son (add kireji)
Through time our souls have flown <>For all time, we're joined (the connection is not clear)
I would change it a little bit to improve the flow and get rid of time, repeating words in such a small poem ...
My beloved son,
our souls have flown together --
eternally (5/7/4)
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
Thank you for your thoughtful and concise review
Comment from mermaids
There are strong feelings and emotions that come through your senryu form. Your second line is smooth and shows how connected you are to your son. I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
There are strong feelings and emotions that come through your senryu form. Your second line is smooth and shows how connected you are to your son. I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
Thank you for your lovely review.
