My Book of Poems 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "My son, my friend"a collection of my poetry
72 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A lovely description in your Senryu of your relationship with your son in these few words. Good 5-7-5 form, and I wish you luck in the contest.
cheers,
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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A lovely description in your Senryu of your relationship with your son in these few words. Good 5-7-5 form, and I wish you luck in the contest.
cheers,
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate you kind words,
~patty~
Comment from BeasPeas
Delightful. I feel this way about both my children. In a few words you have described a mother's love. We love them no matter what. Much luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Delightful. I feel this way about both my children. In a few words you have described a mother's love. We love them no matter what. Much luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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thank you for your thoughtful review
Comment from cflorian8
The connection between parent and child is indeed precious. I hope your bond with him lasts forever. On another note, you are missing one syllable in the first line. Otherwise, great poem.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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The connection between parent and child is indeed precious. I hope your bond with him lasts forever. On another note, you are missing one syllable in the first line. Otherwise, great poem.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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thank you
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was really lovely. I feel that way with my two sons, our souls are joined. I love the way you've put that. Excellent contest entry, well done and good luck! :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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That was really lovely. I feel that way with my two sons, our souls are joined. I love the way you've put that. Excellent contest entry, well done and good luck! :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Thank you for your thoughtful review
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello author, your poem is heartfelt and beautifully penned in soft images, especially:
Through time our two souls have flown
(Indeed. A mother and child remain
connected forevermore.)
Great 5-7-5 format. Terrific artwork choice. A pleasure to read. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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Hello author, your poem is heartfelt and beautifully penned in soft images, especially:
Through time our two souls have flown
(Indeed. A mother and child remain
connected forevermore.)
Great 5-7-5 format. Terrific artwork choice. A pleasure to read. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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thank you for your thoughtful review
Comment from Eternal Muse
This is a very beautiful senryu for your son. It is moving and easily resonates with the reader. I love the picture.
My only feedback, I don't think you need capital letters in a senryu. I think, if you drop the caps, it'll be perfect.
Good luck in the contest, love, Y.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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This is a very beautiful senryu for your son. It is moving and easily resonates with the reader. I love the picture.
My only feedback, I don't think you need capital letters in a senryu. I think, if you drop the caps, it'll be perfect.
Good luck in the contest, love, Y.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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thank you for your review
Comment from royowen
A very emotive and succinctly moving story woven into this senryu contest entry, ts marvellous to be able to sow one's life and memories into one's writing and to anthologise one's experience. Well done, an excellent entry in this contest, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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A very emotive and succinctly moving story woven into this senryu contest entry, ts marvellous to be able to sow one's life and memories into one's writing and to anthologise one's experience. Well done, an excellent entry in this contest, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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thank you for your thoughtful review.
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Well done
Comment from dmt1967
I can tell your son is a heartbreaker and I love that cheeky smile. I liked the blue background and the words to this poem. I have a daughter and, although we fight like cat and dog, are firm friends as well. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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I can tell your son is a heartbreaker and I love that cheeky smile. I liked the blue background and the words to this poem. I have a daughter and, although we fight like cat and dog, are firm friends as well. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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thank you for your thoughtful review
Comment from Pantygynt
This certainly seems to fulfil the terms of the writing prompt in that it honors a loved one. Like its close cousin, the haiku in the final analysis, providing all the other aspects are correct, which they seem to be here, it all comes down to the power of the satori. This one is pretty powerful, backing up the substance of the first two lines but it is not really a moment of enlightenment, something fresh, rather it emphasises what you have already said.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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This certainly seems to fulfil the terms of the writing prompt in that it honors a loved one. Like its close cousin, the haiku in the final analysis, providing all the other aspects are correct, which they seem to be here, it all comes down to the power of the satori. This one is pretty powerful, backing up the substance of the first two lines but it is not really a moment of enlightenment, something fresh, rather it emphasises what you have already said.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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thank you for your thoughtful review
Comment from dragonpoet
It is great when a parent and son/daughter have a relationship like this. It is true that you are joined forever whether the relationship changes or not.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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It is great when a parent and son/daughter have a relationship like this. It is true that you are joined forever whether the relationship changes or not.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2017
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thank you for your thoughtful review
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No problem.
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