Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "haiku (morning birds gather)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
37 total reviews
Comment from nuthead
Gorgeous. Your haiku creates a visual, sensory, as well as auditory picture. The visual of the birds gathering at dawn on lovely magnolias, the visual of the lovely magnolia automatically triggers an inhalation of floral scent, and of course the bird song, the "hallelujah choir". Gorgeous scene. Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Gorgeous. Your haiku creates a visual, sensory, as well as auditory picture. The visual of the birds gathering at dawn on lovely magnolias, the visual of the lovely magnolia automatically triggers an inhalation of floral scent, and of course the bird song, the "hallelujah choir". Gorgeous scene. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for your great review for my haiku, sjharshenin. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm delighted you enjoyed the imagery in the poem, and I thank you for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from mountainwriter49
Good Morning, Kar.
I really do like this minimalist haiku. It allows the reader to imagine the scene and hear the chirping birds. Bravo for not appending digital art!
Your haiku is in fine form and Alvin would be most pleased. The first two lines are grammatically connected and form a concrete image of an observable moment in time. Nothing abstract or imagined here. You've juxtapositioned two concrete images--birds and flowering magnolia. The satori is spot-on.
All in all, a superb example of a nature haiku and a terrific entry into the HC Book. I hope it is chosen for the book that is published.
-Ray
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Good Morning, Kar.
I really do like this minimalist haiku. It allows the reader to imagine the scene and hear the chirping birds. Bravo for not appending digital art!
Your haiku is in fine form and Alvin would be most pleased. The first two lines are grammatically connected and form a concrete image of an observable moment in time. Nothing abstract or imagined here. You've juxtapositioned two concrete images--birds and flowering magnolia. The satori is spot-on.
All in all, a superb example of a nature haiku and a terrific entry into the HC Book. I hope it is chosen for the book that is published.
-Ray
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review for my haiku, PM. I'm pleased you enjoyed the imagery and the satori. I truly appreciate your kind and encouraging response.
Smiles,
Kar :-)
Comment from marybell1
A beautiful haiku, "Morning Birds Gather", with all lines and syllables correct. Keeping to the 5-7-5 rule to me is the only true haiku.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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A beautiful haiku, "Morning Birds Gather", with all lines and syllables correct. Keeping to the 5-7-5 rule to me is the only true haiku.
Best of luck.
Marybell1.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for your great review for my haiku, Marybell. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I thank you for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
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You are most welcome.
Marybell1.
Comment from Bill O'Bier
What a beautiful bird poem. I think everyone likes birds. I spend a lot of time bird watching.There are no wild creatures more accessible to everyone in the world than birds. Thanks for sharing.
Bill~
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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What a beautiful bird poem. I think everyone likes birds. I spend a lot of time bird watching.There are no wild creatures more accessible to everyone in the world than birds. Thanks for sharing.
Bill~
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for your great review for my haiku, Bill. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I thank you for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from June Sargent
You painted a beautiful picture of spring birds gathering on a flowering magnolia. Their singing is like a church choir. Great artwork adds to the vision. Met the challenge with flying colors!
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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You painted a beautiful picture of spring birds gathering on a flowering magnolia. Their singing is like a church choir. Great artwork adds to the vision. Met the challenge with flying colors!
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for your great review for my haiku, June. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I thank you for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Mustang Patty
Giving the birds a standing O may have scared them a bit! I think the birds sound melodious this spring because its been a long winter - but that could just be me. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Giving the birds a standing O may have scared them a bit! I think the birds sound melodious this spring because its been a long winter - but that could just be me. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for your great review for my haiku, parry. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I thank you for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Pantygynt
I miss a lot of the dawn chorus as a result of hight tone deafness unfortunately. Too many bangs went off in my ears back in the 1960s I think. We have a daily two minute radio programme here call "Tweet of the tie" that features the song of a particular bird. Quite a few I have found are simply out of my range and I hear nothing. Doomed to the rooks, ducks and the chickens. But I'll take your word for it.
As Paul Robeson sang,
Honey, did you hear that mocking bird sing last night?
Honey, he was singing so sweet in the moonlight.
From the old magnolia tree, he did impart his melody;
I know he was singin' o' you, Lindy Lou, Lindy Lou,
I'd lay right down and die, and die,
If I could sing like that bird sang to you, my little Lindy Lou.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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I miss a lot of the dawn chorus as a result of hight tone deafness unfortunately. Too many bangs went off in my ears back in the 1960s I think. We have a daily two minute radio programme here call "Tweet of the tie" that features the song of a particular bird. Quite a few I have found are simply out of my range and I hear nothing. Doomed to the rooks, ducks and the chickens. But I'll take your word for it.
As Paul Robeson sang,
Honey, did you hear that mocking bird sing last night?
Honey, he was singing so sweet in the moonlight.
From the old magnolia tree, he did impart his melody;
I know he was singin' o' you, Lindy Lou, Lindy Lou,
I'd lay right down and die, and die,
If I could sing like that bird sang to you, my little Lindy Lou.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for your great review for my haiku, Pantygynt. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your thoughts. I'm sorry you're unable to hear many of the bird sounds. I'm deaf in one ear, but my other ear is perfect...I just don't hear in stereo. Thanks for sharing Lindy Lou.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from TAB_that's me
A wonder tree haiku. Great kigo - flowering magnolia. I love the satori line of hallelujah choir. Indeed the birds are a glorious choir:)
teresa
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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A wonder tree haiku. Great kigo - flowering magnolia. I love the satori line of hallelujah choir. Indeed the birds are a glorious choir:)
teresa
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for your great review for my haiku, Teresa. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm delighted you enjoyed the satori in the poem, and I thank you for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku. I also love the bird choir each morning, there are sometimes a few distinctive voices I heard above the others twittering that makes it all beautiful to hear.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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A very well-written haiku. I also love the bird choir each morning, there are sometimes a few distinctive voices I heard above the others twittering that makes it all beautiful to hear.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for your great review for my haiku, SNdra. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I thank you for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment from robyn corum
Karyn,
Well, kudos to you for doing so! As long as they aren't those black crows trying to cover my magnolia, I'm fine. *smile* The birds really have been singing more and more loudly than I recall in a long time. Thanks for reminding me to listen. Hugs!
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Karyn,
Well, kudos to you for doing so! As long as they aren't those black crows trying to cover my magnolia, I'm fine. *smile* The birds really have been singing more and more loudly than I recall in a long time. Thanks for reminding me to listen. Hugs!
Comment Written 27-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2017
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Thank you so much for your great review for my haiku, Rovyn. I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm delighted you enjoyed the poem, and I thank you for your kind response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
