The Sea Sighs
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "My Rival The Sea"Poems about the sea
85 total reviews
Comment from Just2Write
The sea is a siren to many men, Nancy. A temptress, yes - but she offers no love. Some sailors are lured to their deaths, but still they go, just as they do when they listen to the sirens call. This is a good poem from the POV of the woman who is left to wait until til her rival releases the one she loves.
Great rhyming and meter .
S1L3
I love him so, I could not make him stay,
This line looks wrong to me. It looks to be 2 sentences:
I love him so. I could not make him stay.
If you prefer just one line, perhaps:
I love him so, but could not make him stay(.)
(The fourth line is also a stand alone sentence, but line 3 could either end with a semicolon, a dash or a period.)
Rose
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
  |
The sea is a siren to many men, Nancy. A temptress, yes - but she offers no love. Some sailors are lured to their deaths, but still they go, just as they do when they listen to the sirens call. This is a good poem from the POV of the woman who is left to wait until til her rival releases the one she loves.
Great rhyming and meter .
S1L3
I love him so, I could not make him stay,
This line looks wrong to me. It looks to be 2 sentences:
I love him so. I could not make him stay.
If you prefer just one line, perhaps:
I love him so, but could not make him stay(.)
(The fourth line is also a stand alone sentence, but line 3 could either end with a semicolon, a dash or a period.)
Rose
Comment Written 25-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
Thank you my dear friend. I appreciate the suggestions and the wonderful six! Hugs. Nancy
Comment from angelface2
Very nice, Nancy. I am hoping I can get to writing more, sometime soon. I have spent most of the last year quilting and it has been such good therapy for me. I love doing it. It is good to get back to reading others stories and poems, though. XX Sally
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
 |
Very nice, Nancy. I am hoping I can get to writing more, sometime soon. I have spent most of the last year quilting and it has been such good therapy for me. I love doing it. It is good to get back to reading others stories and poems, though. XX Sally
Comment Written 25-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
Good , I look forward to seeing more of you. Thanks for the review and stars Sally. Have a great week. Nancy
-
Thanks Nancy. I am trying to spend a little more time on here, but time sure gets away from me.
Comment from Kingsrookviii
This is well done and in the classical sense, appropriate for an English sonnet. I admire the construction, content and discipline required to write like this, because I never seem able to. For me, such structure detracts from my ability to convey my truest depths of emotion, which is all the more reason that I do so admire your skill. You've really done a great job here. I like this. Wonderful. Bruce.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
This is well done and in the classical sense, appropriate for an English sonnet. I admire the construction, content and discipline required to write like this, because I never seem able to. For me, such structure detracts from my ability to convey my truest depths of emotion, which is all the more reason that I do so admire your skill. You've really done a great job here. I like this. Wonderful. Bruce.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
That's funny because I need structure. I don't 'get' free or blank verse at all. LOL Thanks for the R&R Bruce. Have a great week. Nancy
Comment from His Grayness
This is a very delightful work in rhythm and pace. The packaging is exceptionally well done, and the poetic message is very well delivered in all ways. I cannot offer any suggestions to improve this work and thank the author for a good read! HIS GRAYNESS
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
|
This is a very delightful work in rhythm and pace. The packaging is exceptionally well done, and the poetic message is very well delivered in all ways. I cannot offer any suggestions to improve this work and thank the author for a good read! HIS GRAYNESS
Comment Written 25-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2017
-
Thank you for the R&R Vance. Have a wonderful week. Nancy
Comment from mbroyles2
A charming poem depicting a battle between a lover and the sea.
When the itch to be among the waves hit, there is very little that can sway a sailor not to be among them.
Terrific rhymes and a nice pace make this easy to read and enjoy.
Very nice!
Michael
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
|
A charming poem depicting a battle between a lover and the sea.
When the itch to be among the waves hit, there is very little that can sway a sailor not to be among them.
Terrific rhymes and a nice pace make this easy to read and enjoy.
Very nice!
Michael
Comment Written 25-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
-
Thank you for the review and stars Michael. Have a nice weekend. Nancy
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Nancy,
I really like this one. It reaches deep into the emotions and there is a lovely ebb and flow which mirrors the subject matter well.
Alas, The one I love has sailed away - maybe a small 't' for the here.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
|
Hi Nancy,
I really like this one. It reaches deep into the emotions and there is a lovely ebb and flow which mirrors the subject matter well.
Alas, The one I love has sailed away - maybe a small 't' for the here.
All the best
G
Comment Written 25-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
-
Thanks for catching that G. I have fixed it already, but always welcome critic. Have a nice weekend. Nancy
Comment from Susan Chetcuti
Your poem has a powerful pull to it. The sea is my rival, I loved that line. A love lost to the sea, it had great imagery and your words set beautifully with the amazing artwork. An excellent read.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
|
Your poem has a powerful pull to it. The sea is my rival, I loved that line. A love lost to the sea, it had great imagery and your words set beautifully with the amazing artwork. An excellent read.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
-
Thank you for the great R&R . Have a wonderful weekend. Nancy
Comment from Dawn Munro
I understand the draw of the sea (but I also wonder if you meant this literally, with a protagonist, or if it is metaphor - it could work either way, though I prefer to think you write of a sailor). Beautiful, my friend.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
|
I understand the draw of the sea (but I also wonder if you meant this literally, with a protagonist, or if it is metaphor - it could work either way, though I prefer to think you write of a sailor). Beautiful, my friend.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
-
A movie was my inspiration. Thanks for the review and stars Dawn. Have a lovely weekend. Nancy
-
you too. :)
Comment from Thal1959
Very nicely written. I presume you pronounce "again" as a-gayne to rhyme with pain. It doesn't matter, but sometimes if a person employs Australian or British English pronunciations, it looks a bit odd to an American. I especially liked the ending couplet. Very well done.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
|
Very nicely written. I presume you pronounce "again" as a-gayne to rhyme with pain. It doesn't matter, but sometimes if a person employs Australian or British English pronunciations, it looks a bit odd to an American. I especially liked the ending couplet. Very well done.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
-
Thank you very much for the review and stars. Enjoy the weekend. Nancy
-
It was my pleasure, Nancy.
Comment from Lu Saluna
This is a lovely sonnet. Very romantic and sad at the same time. Men who are drawn to the sea are really taken with it. It is difficult to compete with that type of love. As it is something completely different.
Very lovely rhyme, meter and flow. A joy to read.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
|
This is a lovely sonnet. Very romantic and sad at the same time. Men who are drawn to the sea are really taken with it. It is difficult to compete with that type of love. As it is something completely different.
Very lovely rhyme, meter and flow. A joy to read.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2017
-
Thank you for the review and stars Lu. Have a nice weekend. Nancy
