Atomic Renga
Collaborative Linked Tanka Poetry Writing57 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
The incendiary bombs in the wood and bamboo cities of Japan were a Hell that might have gone on for months without the nukes. I've heard guesses that the raw shock of the fission bombs broke the Japanese will and saved twenty million lives. Hard way to do it. I've read of Rengas, but this is the first I've seen posted. Excellent.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2017
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The incendiary bombs in the wood and bamboo cities of Japan were a Hell that might have gone on for months without the nukes. I've heard guesses that the raw shock of the fission bombs broke the Japanese will and saved twenty million lives. Hard way to do it. I've read of Rengas, but this is the first I've seen posted. Excellent.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2017
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Yes, LIJ, I agree: the war would likely have lasted for months without the nukes. We tried the incendiary bombs on Tokyo which actually killed more people than the combined death tolls of Nagasaki and Hiroshima, but still the Japanese refused to surrender.
Like you, I do not believe I have ever read a renga on FanStory before. I am thrilled that Dean and I wrote and posted our renga homework assignment. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Thamp
I don't know how to review something like this. It is both beautiful and awful at the same time. Great writing and a good reminder of how dangerous the world is. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2017
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I don't know how to review something like this. It is both beautiful and awful at the same time. Great writing and a good reminder of how dangerous the world is. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2017
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Yes, Thamp, this is both beautiful and awful at the same time. Thank you for your generous, six star review of our renga which reminds people "of hoe dangerous the world is.'
Comment from nuthead
Truly haunting images this collaborative work paints. Tragic and more sore that it's based on a real event. The image you chose to accompany this poem sets the tone and sits in my mind uncomfortably as I read.
Having lived all my life near orchards, the reference to an orchard of cherry trees ablaze was vivid and unsettling.
Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2017
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Truly haunting images this collaborative work paints. Tragic and more sore that it's based on a real event. The image you chose to accompany this poem sets the tone and sits in my mind uncomfortably as I read.
Having lived all my life near orchards, the reference to an orchard of cherry trees ablaze was vivid and unsettling.
Well done.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2017
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Yes, sjharshenin, as Dean and I were writing this, he kept telling me about the shadows of people vaporized. We wrote our renga. Afterwards I searched for an accompanying picture and was shocked to find a photo of a girl vaporized in mid jump as she played jump rope with a rope attached to a fire extinguisher. There are other pictures, too, showing shadows of people and even a cat caught outside when the blasts occurred. My selection of the photo of a girl jumping rope "sets the tone and sits in my mind uncomfortably as I read." Thank you for reading our unsettling renga.
Comment from robyn corum
I don't usually like these sort of collaborations OR 'suites' - they are typically an author's own pat on the back and rarely, if ever, a good set of poems. But this is different. To my surprise - you know how picky I am! -- I liked almost every one of these poems! Fabulous job, you two! This gave my tingles. YIKES. This is grabbing one of my hard-won sixes! Congrats!
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2017
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I don't usually like these sort of collaborations OR 'suites' - they are typically an author's own pat on the back and rarely, if ever, a good set of poems. But this is different. To my surprise - you know how picky I am! -- I liked almost every one of these poems! Fabulous job, you two! This gave my tingles. YIKES. This is grabbing one of my hard-won sixes! Congrats!
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2017
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Oh, thank you, Robyn, for your hard-won, six star review of our collaboration. Dean and I outdid ourselves here because we fed off of each other's energy and creativity. We are glad our renga gave you the tingles.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Oh, wow, this is a very powerful poem and your passion shows in every word.
I think one of the most poignant phrases is:
Radiation - the gift that keeps on giving
That is such a smart line, you utilized sarcasm so well.
Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2017
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Oh, wow, this is a very powerful poem and your passion shows in every word.
I think one of the most poignant phrases is:
Radiation - the gift that keeps on giving
That is such a smart line, you utilized sarcasm so well.
Very nicely done.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2017
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Yes, Louise, I was the one that coined that radiation line. Dean and I were ad libbing and that line came to me as a joke. We decided to keep it, and Dean added his line about the man unhappy with his purchase. Thank you for your review of our "nicely done renga."
Comment from Grasshopper2
Andre and Dean,
I bow before the maestros of penned images. What you and Dean posted is a cohesive commentary of the first atomic bomb dropped in war. It makes my single haiku (Enola Gay) look feeble and lonely. Well done, you two, well done.
Michael
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2017
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Andre and Dean,
I bow before the maestros of penned images. What you and Dean posted is a cohesive commentary of the first atomic bomb dropped in war. It makes my single haiku (Enola Gay) look feeble and lonely. Well done, you two, well done.
Michael
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2017
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Oh, thank you, Michael, for your enthusiastic, six star review of our renga about "a cohesive commentary of the first atomic bomb dropped in war." We appreciate it.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Perfect my dearest friend. I have been a follower of this all my life and you did it complete justice, absolutely wonderfully done and the tears started as I could feel again the pain and loss
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Perfect my dearest friend. I have been a follower of this all my life and you did it complete justice, absolutely wonderfully done and the tears started as I could feel again the pain and loss
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Yes, Barb, I kept thinking about that girl playing jump rope with a rope tied to the fire hydrant. She jumped up in the air when the atomic blast vaporized her and the rope, leaving behind their shadows. I hope Dean and I did this difficult topic justice.
Thank you for your generous, six star review.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
The combination of North Korea and President Trump truly has me worried. I hope Trump is a history student and has learned how horrible bombs and war are. I doubt Kim Jong Il really cares. I did enjoy reading your poem.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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The combination of North Korea and President Trump truly has me worried. I hope Trump is a history student and has learned how horrible bombs and war are. I doubt Kim Jong Il really cares. I did enjoy reading your poem.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Yes, Barbara, our world leaders on both sides make such flippant comments about atomic bombs, but they are really no joke as Dean's and my renga shows. Thank you for enjoying our poem.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Renga. It was a very interesting read with wonderful historical facts about the Hiroshima bombing that is not commonly known.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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A very well-written Renga. It was a very interesting read with wonderful historical facts about the Hiroshima bombing that is not commonly known.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Yes, Sandra, I did not know a lot of gruesome historical facts about Hiroshima until Dean told me about them and I looked them up online right when we were composing our poem. Photos of girl vaporized while playing jump rope and a woman whose kimono pattern branded into her skin inspired and confirmed our nightmarish poem.
Thank you for your review of our well-written Renga.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The real threat of a nuclear bomb is frightening and all it takes is one mad man to press the button. Your poem is poignant and real and the devastation unimaginable. Great use of atmospheric language leaving me feeling cold and isolated. Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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The real threat of a nuclear bomb is frightening and all it takes is one mad man to press the button. Your poem is poignant and real and the devastation unimaginable. Great use of atmospheric language leaving me feeling cold and isolated. Love Dolly x
Comment Written 19-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2017
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Yes, Dolly, the scary thing is that although Hiroshima and Nagasaki are in the past, we still live with a nuclear threat in the present. Thank you for your review of Dean's and my collaborative poem on a frightening subject.
