The Last Closed Door
Closed door contest15 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
This breaks my heart. My mother was constantly beat by my father in the late 50s and 60s. She called the police, but nothing was ever done. Once in awhile, they would take him away, so he could 'cool down,' but that really didn't do any good. I was sorry to read that her brothers' actions were too late.
~patty~
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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This breaks my heart. My mother was constantly beat by my father in the late 50s and 60s. She called the police, but nothing was ever done. Once in awhile, they would take him away, so he could 'cool down,' but that really didn't do any good. I was sorry to read that her brothers' actions were too late.
~patty~
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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Ah so sad-your poor Mom and you for witnessing. It is an oft repeated thing and sad that it continues. Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comments.
Comment from Stacia Ann
What a sad and creepy poem that works so well with the visual.
It seems so apt, a familiar scenario, how abuse is rarely spoken about, by the victim, the victimizers, or others involved. "The Last Closed Door" then has a double meaning--what goes on behind them and the end of an opportunity, perhaps the opportunity to live.
the lines "the brothers came in late that night
he was drunk and full of spite"
Are a bit confusing.
Perhaps "(her) brothers came in late that night
(her husband/boyfriend, etc) was drunk and full of spite"
Maybe not "never be brought to trial" but "never found" (?) He is missing, probably dead, so trial seems a moot point.
I like the last line on the closed door, literally some burial place, and figuratively the last chance to beat someone.
Overall a strong piece. Thanks for sharing!
Stacia
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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What a sad and creepy poem that works so well with the visual.
It seems so apt, a familiar scenario, how abuse is rarely spoken about, by the victim, the victimizers, or others involved. "The Last Closed Door" then has a double meaning--what goes on behind them and the end of an opportunity, perhaps the opportunity to live.
the lines "the brothers came in late that night
he was drunk and full of spite"
Are a bit confusing.
Perhaps "(her) brothers came in late that night
(her husband/boyfriend, etc) was drunk and full of spite"
Maybe not "never be brought to trial" but "never found" (?) He is missing, probably dead, so trial seems a moot point.
I like the last line on the closed door, literally some burial place, and figuratively the last chance to beat someone.
Overall a strong piece. Thanks for sharing!
Stacia
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comments. I will revisit these areas also.
Comment from Heidi M
What a tragic poem but very realistic for the abused spouse. You touched on the fear and need to keep the abuse secret.
I would recommend you change the word 'the' to 'her' brothers came in late, if it was her brothers.
You did an excellent job writing this.
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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What a tragic poem but very realistic for the abused spouse. You touched on the fear and need to keep the abuse secret.
I would recommend you change the word 'the' to 'her' brothers came in late, if it was her brothers.
You did an excellent job writing this.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comments. I will revisit appreciate this wise suggestion.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about domestic violence, as long as the abuser gets away with this crime behind closed doors the abusement will continue.
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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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A very well-written poem about domestic violence, as long as the abuser gets away with this crime behind closed doors the abusement will continue.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much.
Comment from moonsunrise
Unfortunately this happens too much these days in all walks of life.
The imagery is so haunting. People ask "why would she stay"?
No one knows what goes on behind the closed door.
Thanks for sharing.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Unfortunately this happens too much these days in all walks of life.
The imagery is so haunting. People ask "why would she stay"?
No one knows what goes on behind the closed door.
Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
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Thanks so much for reading and your thoughtful comments.
