Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "haiku (amber twilight)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
11 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Your picture selection reiterates "amber twilight" perfectly. I admired the emotion you conveyed in this tiny work. Sighs- Joan
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
  |
Your picture selection reiterates "amber twilight" perfectly. I admired the emotion you conveyed in this tiny work. Sighs- Joan
Comment Written 17-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2017
-
Thank you, sweetie pie,
Namaste,
Gypsy
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Gypsy, this is quite deep and leaves the reader wondering if it is about the end of a relationship or the end of a season. The colours are vibrant like Autumn and it has a soulful feeling I like the Satori uncertainty as it could go either way. Well done Cheers Christineð???ð??¢
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
|
Hi Gypsy, this is quite deep and leaves the reader wondering if it is about the end of a relationship or the end of a season. The colours are vibrant like Autumn and it has a soulful feeling I like the Satori uncertainty as it could go either way. Well done Cheers Christineð???ð??¢
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
-
it's the end of a season and the rest is up to speculation ... hehehe it's just a poem and I wanted to make people ponder ... it is working LoL
Christine, Thank you, darlin, you are very kind :)
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Japanese Poetry Instructor
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
-
you are welcome We are having Autumn now just started so I muscget my writing brain in action for a Haiku Xx
Comment from Grasshopper2
Hi Gypsy,
First, this is another excellent visual presentation. Your photo, font, all of the colors scream Autumn! are genuinely attractive. Second, your haiku syllable counts of 4 6 4 and a total of 14 syllables adhere to the traditional format of short/long/short haiku form.
Your first two lines display a clear grammatical connection and reveal detailed imagery. The haiku is a current observation of a moment in time captured in nature. You show discipline with good choices of words and with a total word count of 6, you display excellent use in word economy.
Your satori is a brief summarization of the phrases which comes in the two earlier lines before it. I especially like that your satori is only one word. This is an exceptionally well-written haiku.
Blessings,
Grasshopper2
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
|
Hi Gypsy,
First, this is another excellent visual presentation. Your photo, font, all of the colors scream Autumn! are genuinely attractive. Second, your haiku syllable counts of 4 6 4 and a total of 14 syllables adhere to the traditional format of short/long/short haiku form.
Your first two lines display a clear grammatical connection and reveal detailed imagery. The haiku is a current observation of a moment in time captured in nature. You show discipline with good choices of words and with a total word count of 6, you display excellent use in word economy.
Your satori is a brief summarization of the phrases which comes in the two earlier lines before it. I especially like that your satori is only one word. This is an exceptionally well-written haiku.
Blessings,
Grasshopper2
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
-
Wow! Excellent review, my friend. Thank you very much!
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor
Haiku Society of America Member
~A New Waka Class Every Month~
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for sharing another of your fine poems. I'm still a little intimidated about trying to join in and write an haiku, but I read a number of them every day and have come to enjoy them very much. Your presentation information explains why you are the teacher. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
|
Thanks for sharing another of your fine poems. I'm still a little intimidated about trying to join in and write an haiku, but I read a number of them every day and have come to enjoy them very much. Your presentation information explains why you are the teacher. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
-
Wow! Excellent review, my friend. Thank you very much!
Please join us. We are a friendly bunch and you don't need to be perfect. We are all learning and by joining you have a lot to gain. You can come over the club whenever you want to chat, share your haiku and get ideas on how to improve it, laugh with us, and learn haiku skills. It's free and you can be as involved as you please, there are no rules or requirements. All you have to do is ask and I will add your name to our list of members, the rest is up to you. The meetings are not required but we would like to see you. The meeting is every Tuesday at 4 pacific time/ 7 eastern time.
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor
Haiku Society of America Member
~A New Waka Class Every Month~
Comment from Mark Schardine
We leave a loved one for the unknown, and can spend only a brief moment wondering what to expect. All the while we cannot avoid viewing the impressive natural world around us.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
|
We leave a loved one for the unknown, and can spend only a brief moment wondering what to expect. All the while we cannot avoid viewing the impressive natural world around us.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
-
Thank you for the review and kind words.
Namaste
Gypsy
Comment from sandy montgomery
Good presentation. Your first two lines are connected. Autumn is clearly your seasonal reference.syllables are correct. This has a thoughtful quality. Thank you for sharing your work
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
|
Good presentation. Your first two lines are connected. Autumn is clearly your seasonal reference.syllables are correct. This has a thoughtful quality. Thank you for sharing your work
Comment Written 16-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
-
Thank you, my friend :)
Comment from Sis Cat
I like this--the somber tone, autumn as a time of departure not only of a season and long days, but in this case of a relationship. It is uncertain whether or not the two will meet in spring.
Thank you for sharing your excellent haiku.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
|
I like this--the somber tone, autumn as a time of departure not only of a season and long days, but in this case of a relationship. It is uncertain whether or not the two will meet in spring.
Thank you for sharing your excellent haiku.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
-
Thank you, Andre, you are very kind and I am grateful for your time and effort.
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Haiku Instructor Hello, thank you very much, my friend,
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
Comment from Lu Saluna
Your haiku is very thought provoking.
"amber twilight" - the colour of the time of evening or a period of time in life
"permeates our good-bye" - the time of evening good-bye was said, was the good-bye somehow saddened?
"uncertainty" - kind of speaks for itself but maybe not.
There are layered meanings in this haiku and it is subject to much interpretation by the reader.
Well done
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
|
Your haiku is very thought provoking.
"amber twilight" - the colour of the time of evening or a period of time in life
"permeates our good-bye" - the time of evening good-bye was said, was the good-bye somehow saddened?
"uncertainty" - kind of speaks for itself but maybe not.
There are layered meanings in this haiku and it is subject to much interpretation by the reader.
Well done
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
-
Thank you, Lura, you are very kind and I am grateful for your time and effort. I wanted to be open ended and leave it up to the reader to ponder.
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Haiku Instructor Hello, thank you very much, my friend,
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
Comment from DR DIP
Nice words Gypsy. Are they pumpkins in the picture? I have read this several times Gypsy and I have reached different interpretations i think the picture is throwing me. i would love to hear your interpretation you were after.
dip
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
|
Nice words Gypsy. Are they pumpkins in the picture? I have read this several times Gypsy and I have reached different interpretations i think the picture is throwing me. i would love to hear your interpretation you were after.
dip
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
-
This one is meant to make you ponder and it doesn't have any meaning specifically.
Thank you, you are very kind and I am grateful for your time and effort.
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
Comment from Hitcher
Another quality haiku Gypsy Blue Rose
amber twilight
permeates our goodbye--
uncertainty
The fear of uncertainty fused with an amber twilight... Nice! Loved your choice of artwork.
HEY I have a question for you friend, I have a Haiku I posted awhile back which I would like to add to your book, can I do, seeing how it is has been posted before? and how would I do that. If I can't, not problem friend, I think YOU would like it though :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
|
Another quality haiku Gypsy Blue Rose
amber twilight
permeates our goodbye--
uncertainty
The fear of uncertainty fused with an amber twilight... Nice! Loved your choice of artwork.
HEY I have a question for you friend, I have a Haiku I posted awhile back which I would like to add to your book, can I do, seeing how it is has been posted before? and how would I do that. If I can't, not problem friend, I think YOU would like it though :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
-
Hey ya, darlin',
All you do is copy and paste to the book. Change the title and you are good to go. The challenges go by topics. When is your haiku about? Send me a PM.
Thank you, you are very kind and I am grateful for your time and effort.
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Instructor
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
