The Bees
A story poem in ballad measure39 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
A strong correlation is made between the termination of bees and genocide. Your words flow well and the poem is very deep. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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A strong correlation is made between the termination of bees and genocide. Your words flow well and the poem is very deep. Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Very many thanks for your review, Patty, and for noting the strength of the correlation.
Comment from rspoet
Oh, when a poet fines the crack and lets the light emerge
sheer beauty appears and shines on a page of truth
A fine ballad, this parable of the bees
The Maker, the keeper and the kingdom
"And here they built a miracle,
social interstices,
a harmony of fellowship
a testament to peace"
Ah Athens, most beautiful of all
Exceptional
Best wishes in the contest, my friend
RS
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Oh, when a poet fines the crack and lets the light emerge
sheer beauty appears and shines on a page of truth
A fine ballad, this parable of the bees
The Maker, the keeper and the kingdom
"And here they built a miracle,
social interstices,
a harmony of fellowship
a testament to peace"
Ah Athens, most beautiful of all
Exceptional
Best wishes in the contest, my friend
RS
Comment Written 15-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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I love your description of poets finding the crack and letting the light emerge. The fact that you felt that I achieved this in some small measure here is worth more than any six - though I'm grateful for that, too! It is significant validation, coming from you. Many thanks. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Lil' Mormon Boy
Beeing an avid beekeeper I really appreciated the piece. I've known many a place, or homes, to be invaded by the bee, from walls to attic. I have a heavy heart when the homes have to be exterminated to rid them of the needed insects.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Beeing an avid beekeeper I really appreciated the piece. I've known many a place, or homes, to be invaded by the bee, from walls to attic. I have a heavy heart when the homes have to be exterminated to rid them of the needed insects.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Many thanks for your review, Lil' Mormon Boy. Beekeepers have my utmost respect. We host several hives on the farm, but I leave it up to our local beekeeper to tend to them.
Comment from June Sargent
A thought provoking poem on the arrogance of man that allows him to decide who should or should not be exterminated...whether man or beast. In doing so, he does not stop and think of the consequences of his actions. No bees, no honey, no life. I loved the message in this story. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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A thought provoking poem on the arrogance of man that allows him to decide who should or should not be exterminated...whether man or beast. In doing so, he does not stop and think of the consequences of his actions. No bees, no honey, no life. I loved the message in this story. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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You have gone straight to the heart of this one, June. I'm glad that it meant something to you. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Autumn Splendour
Another delightful poem, Tony. I love the mellifluous cadence which exudes an aura of gentleness as you narrate the story of the bees and man's insensitivity.
Perhaps I'm not esoteric enough.LOL.
There appears to be more than one voice. The change is confusing.
"I could not look Him in the eye.
I hung my head in shame.
A miniature decision made,
for which I take the blame".
Who is the "I" here? The local bee keeper who destroyed the nest or the poet?
Also, what is apian? I don't see it in my dictionary.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Another delightful poem, Tony. I love the mellifluous cadence which exudes an aura of gentleness as you narrate the story of the bees and man's insensitivity.
Perhaps I'm not esoteric enough.LOL.
There appears to be more than one voice. The change is confusing.
"I could not look Him in the eye.
I hung my head in shame.
A miniature decision made,
for which I take the blame".
Who is the "I" here? The local bee keeper who destroyed the nest or the poet?
Also, what is apian? I don't see it in my dictionary.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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I always appreciate your dropping by to review, Autumn Splenour. Thank you!
'I' throughout this poem is the poet.
'apian' adj. 'relating to bees'
All the best
Tony
Comment from IndianaIrish
Tony, this poem is truly magnificent in all aspects. I've read it three times and felt the power of the imagery the words create. Of course all your poetic devices are outstanding, but it's the emotion I feel that makes me love your poem. Your final verse is so moving, Tony. Best wishes in the contest with your exceptional poetry.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Tony, this poem is truly magnificent in all aspects. I've read it three times and felt the power of the imagery the words create. Of course all your poetic devices are outstanding, but it's the emotion I feel that makes me love your poem. Your final verse is so moving, Tony. Best wishes in the contest with your exceptional poetry.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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I always appreciate your dropping by to review, Karyn. Thank you!
I very much appreciate your lovely comments and the six stars.
Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great read Tony the story of these busy bees making their honey in an old decrepit farmhouse. I like the ending comparison of 'the horrors we create' between nations. Nicely done with this one, and good luck in the contest.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Great read Tony the story of these busy bees making their honey in an old decrepit farmhouse. I like the ending comparison of 'the horrors we create' between nations. Nicely done with this one, and good luck in the contest.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Many thanks for your comments and good luck wishes, Pearl. Glad you enjoyed it! All the best, Tony
Comment from nuthead
Fabulous poem! I so enjoyed this. I laughed, I learned. I love your humour, and your form. The meter was lovely to read, the rhymes were great, no forced nonsense at all. I particularly enjoyed these rhyme pairings: queen/between, load/abode, pride/genocide, bee/trustee, create/exterminate! Your progression from admiring, to fear, to kill, to shame was done with such skill.
All of your stanzas are well-constructed, but I found this one a delight to read and reread!
What labour! What hexagonies!
What citadels they made!
Each precious cup of honeyed gold
cooled by their winged glissade.
Thank you for the lovely ride! :)
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Fabulous poem! I so enjoyed this. I laughed, I learned. I love your humour, and your form. The meter was lovely to read, the rhymes were great, no forced nonsense at all. I particularly enjoyed these rhyme pairings: queen/between, load/abode, pride/genocide, bee/trustee, create/exterminate! Your progression from admiring, to fear, to kill, to shame was done with such skill.
All of your stanzas are well-constructed, but I found this one a delight to read and reread!
What labour! What hexagonies!
What citadels they made!
Each precious cup of honeyed gold
cooled by their winged glissade.
Thank you for the lovely ride! :)
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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I always appreciate your dropping by to review, sjharshenin. Thank you!
I very much appreciate your comments and the six stars.
Best wishes, Tony
Comment from w.j.debi
This is a poignant tale. It starts out rather cheerful with the bees busy and making a home out of an old deserted house. But it turns to a dire and deadly situation for them, and leaves them destroyed by one who destroyed rather than encouraged their activity.
An excellent story poem. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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This is a poignant tale. It starts out rather cheerful with the bees busy and making a home out of an old deserted house. But it turns to a dire and deadly situation for them, and leaves them destroyed by one who destroyed rather than encouraged their activity.
An excellent story poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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Many thanks for your comments and good luck wishes, WJ. Glad you enjoyed it! All the best, Tony
Comment from MelB
You've told the story wonderfully of these bees that work so hard. Great descriptions and imagery. It's sad they are being killed in droves.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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You've told the story wonderfully of these bees that work so hard. Great descriptions and imagery. It's sad they are being killed in droves.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2017
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I always appreciate your dropping by to review, Mel. Thank you! Best wishes, Tony
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You're most welcome.
