2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "haibun (king of nothing)"A collection of Japanese poetry
26 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
The haibun is my favorite form. I love the prose. Your words are chosen well and describes how first looks can be deceiving. Your haiku is superb and reveals the reality of the prose. Vere well done. i enjoyed this one very much.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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The haibun is my favorite form. I love the prose. Your words are chosen well and describes how first looks can be deceiving. Your haiku is superb and reveals the reality of the prose. Vere well done. i enjoyed this one very much.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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thank you for the excellent review and helpful feedback :) my friend
namaste
Comment from MizKat
Hi Gypsy,
You have written a very nice story and a poem. It's so sad when there are people who are homeless. When I read about both of the two of you I got tears in my eyes. I'm glad both of you glanced and bowed slightly at each other.
Kat
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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Hi Gypsy,
You have written a very nice story and a poem. It's so sad when there are people who are homeless. When I read about both of the two of you I got tears in my eyes. I'm glad both of you glanced and bowed slightly at each other.
Kat
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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thank you for the excellent review and helpful feedback :) my friend
namaste
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You're very welcome. Kat
Comment from Leineco
Intriguing haibun Gypsy. . .
Commentary on society - or the concept of distraction. . .empathy -or - imagination. . .self-delusion -or- perception. . .
The imagery (prose section) is so clear and "familiar" it paints a picture every reader can relate to, but the haiku (in conjunction with the prose) paints a fascinating juxtaposition. . .
Autumns golden crowns blaze as if signifying having risen to reigning status - but time is a wheel, every turning - nothing is static. . .there is only a timeline to follow. . .ever changing. . .ever re-interpreted.
Very intriguing :-)
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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Intriguing haibun Gypsy. . .
Commentary on society - or the concept of distraction. . .empathy -or - imagination. . .self-delusion -or- perception. . .
The imagery (prose section) is so clear and "familiar" it paints a picture every reader can relate to, but the haiku (in conjunction with the prose) paints a fascinating juxtaposition. . .
Autumns golden crowns blaze as if signifying having risen to reigning status - but time is a wheel, every turning - nothing is static. . .there is only a timeline to follow. . .ever changing. . .ever re-interpreted.
Very intriguing :-)
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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thank you for the excellent review and helpful feedback :) my friend
namaste
Comment from robyn corum
MariVal,
This is a very vivid piece of writing. I can see the whole scene laid out before me. I like the idea that this man (who may very well have been a king of sorts of SOMETHING in his past) is now king of a vast land of nothing now. Sad but so. Very nicely done. Thanks!
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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MariVal,
This is a very vivid piece of writing. I can see the whole scene laid out before me. I like the idea that this man (who may very well have been a king of sorts of SOMETHING in his past) is now king of a vast land of nothing now. Sad but so. Very nicely done. Thanks!
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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thank you for the excellent review and helpful feedback :) my friend
gypsy hugs
namaste
Comment from Ric Myworld
Most of us fail to realize that there are no guarantees. We are all merely one step away from loneliness, becoming homeless, or filled with pain and misery. Therefore, we should all be happy and thankful, and know that every good thing in life is a blessing. Thanks for sharing another of your fine reads. :-)
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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Most of us fail to realize that there are no guarantees. We are all merely one step away from loneliness, becoming homeless, or filled with pain and misery. Therefore, we should all be happy and thankful, and know that every good thing in life is a blessing. Thanks for sharing another of your fine reads. :-)
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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thank you for the excellent review and helpful feedback :) my friend
namaste
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written hsibun. The title immediately made me think about Metallica's song 'King of Nothing.' So many people today pretend they are someting but actually they are nothing.
Possible typo
reflect Indian Sumner(Summer)
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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A very well-written hsibun. The title immediately made me think about Metallica's song 'King of Nothing.' So many people today pretend they are someting but actually they are nothing.
Possible typo
reflect Indian Sumner(Summer)
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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thank you for the excellent review and helpful feedback :) my friend
namaste
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a sad poem but a good metaphor for the caped homeless man. It is sad they just nodded to each other and the speaker didn't do anything to help. I know a lot of the time we try ignore the homeless and at least the speaker acknowleged his presence and his being a person.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
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This is a sad poem but a good metaphor for the caped homeless man. It is sad they just nodded to each other and the speaker didn't do anything to help. I know a lot of the time we try ignore the homeless and at least the speaker acknowleged his presence and his being a person.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
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Hello, the homeless man was not begging, he was walking by at a fast pace, not asking for help. They nodded in mutual respect as equals human beings with dignity. Both were poor but signifying.
Thank you.
Gypsy haijin sensei
Fanstory haiku teacher
Member of the Haiku Society of America
°°°»°«°°°a new haiku class every month°°°»°«°°°
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Good way to show dignity for all human beings.
You're welcome.
Joan
Comment from Father Flaps
That's quite an image, Gypsy! I can easily picture the royal robe fluttering in the breeze, at first seeming to be a king, but as he drew closer, he became a poor homeless no-name gent. The robe was just an old blanket, tattered and worn. He fooled you, and you fooled us. Terrific switch of imagery! And I like your summation, "King of nothing". But it makes you wonder, who is he? I love this line,
"As he walked by me, we exchanged glances and bowed slightly." ...that's excellent!
Really nicely penned! It actually made me remember a post of jlsavell (Jimi). She wrote about a homeless Viet Nam vet a while back. Jimi hasn't posted since last October, but she is a fine poet. Look up some of her work. You'll be impressed.
We've all got a past, but some are historic. Even prehistoric!
Hugs
Kimbob
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
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That's quite an image, Gypsy! I can easily picture the royal robe fluttering in the breeze, at first seeming to be a king, but as he drew closer, he became a poor homeless no-name gent. The robe was just an old blanket, tattered and worn. He fooled you, and you fooled us. Terrific switch of imagery! And I like your summation, "King of nothing". But it makes you wonder, who is he? I love this line,
"As he walked by me, we exchanged glances and bowed slightly." ...that's excellent!
Really nicely penned! It actually made me remember a post of jlsavell (Jimi). She wrote about a homeless Viet Nam vet a while back. Jimi hasn't posted since last October, but she is a fine poet. Look up some of her work. You'll be impressed.
We've all got a past, but some are historic. Even prehistoric!
Hugs
Kimbob
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words, my friend. The beautiful six stars are icing on the cake. Thank you!
Gypsy haijin sensei
Fanstory haiku teacher
Member of the Haiku Society of America
°°°»°«°°°a new haiku class every month°°°»°«°°°
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Poor man. I feel so sorry for the homeless. It's got to be a terribly hard life. I enjoyed your haibun. Thank you for sharing it, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
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Poor man. I feel so sorry for the homeless. It's got to be a terribly hard life. I enjoyed your haibun. Thank you for sharing it, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
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Thank you
Comment from Hitcher
One of my more favored forms of Japanese poetry, combining prose with Haiku is a match made in heaven for the lovers of both. I'd say you would fit nicely into that category friend for you have offered up a little gem here. Loved it!
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
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One of my more favored forms of Japanese poetry, combining prose with Haiku is a match made in heaven for the lovers of both. I'd say you would fit nicely into that category friend for you have offered up a little gem here. Loved it!
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words, my friend. Thank you!
Gypsy haijin sensei
Fanstory haiku teacher
Member of the Haiku Society of America
°°°»°«°°°a new haiku class every month°°°»°«°°°
