Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "haiku (sweet summertime dreams)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
46 total reviews
Comment from cumulus365
These words in this poem are soft and very loving. You have ways to write with appropriate heart calming words. This haiku is oozing with sweet sentiments "melt miles 'til I am with you". Line 1 and line 2 draw a warm romance in waiting. I like your use of poetic scheme of "s" and "m" alliterations in line 1 and line 2 makin the read easier to remember with the meaning that is so touching to the soul/spirit. The illustration you selected enhances the meaning of the poem by including a picture of a swinging hammock ( a kigo word for summer season) without using it within the haiku to suggest a relaxing time (summer humanity haiku) for both to look forward to having. This haiku has haiku substance of human spirit in love. You are a blessed and talented writer/poet to wow your female audience. Maybe you're a reincarnation of William Shakespeare.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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These words in this poem are soft and very loving. You have ways to write with appropriate heart calming words. This haiku is oozing with sweet sentiments "melt miles 'til I am with you". Line 1 and line 2 draw a warm romance in waiting. I like your use of poetic scheme of "s" and "m" alliterations in line 1 and line 2 makin the read easier to remember with the meaning that is so touching to the soul/spirit. The illustration you selected enhances the meaning of the poem by including a picture of a swinging hammock ( a kigo word for summer season) without using it within the haiku to suggest a relaxing time (summer humanity haiku) for both to look forward to having. This haiku has haiku substance of human spirit in love. You are a blessed and talented writer/poet to wow your female audience. Maybe you're a reincarnation of William Shakespeare.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2017
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Wow, Cumulus.
What a nice review, thank you!
I'm hardly the next coming of Bill Shakespeare, but it's nice to know you feel that way.
I do try to put my all into everything I write.
I believe the majority of all FanStory members do.
Thanks again for the wonderful review.
Enjoy the day...
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You are welcome. Cumulus
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Dean, this picture you chose to bring your haiku to life has done what it was intended to do. Your first line says what your mindset was with the dreams. The second line tells me what these dreams are doing and your satori says what the mind and heart is hoping for,,,,, anticipation. Well done Dean,,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Dean, this picture you chose to bring your haiku to life has done what it was intended to do. Your first line says what your mindset was with the dreams. The second line tells me what these dreams are doing and your satori says what the mind and heart is hoping for,,,,, anticipation. Well done Dean,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thank you, Jim.
I'm happy to learn that the haiku did for you what I'd hoped it would do.
Much obliged.
~Dean
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Nice poem that is gently romantic. It is really sweet, and makes me think of love in the summertime, which is a great time to be in love.
Thanks for the wonderful share,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Nice poem that is gently romantic. It is really sweet, and makes me think of love in the summertime, which is a great time to be in love.
Thanks for the wonderful share,
Rhonda
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the wonderful review.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Dean,
This is a great haiku for summer. Good job on its style. I like the subtle swaying of the hammock. I love the alliteration, too. After reading your haiku, I understand how your words fit perfectly. I can feel the longing of the 2 people who are separated by the miles. But their thoughts of each other keep them going until they are together.
Good job on another great haiku. Jan
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Dean,
This is a great haiku for summer. Good job on its style. I like the subtle swaying of the hammock. I love the alliteration, too. After reading your haiku, I understand how your words fit perfectly. I can feel the longing of the 2 people who are separated by the miles. But their thoughts of each other keep them going until they are together.
Good job on another great haiku. Jan
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Yeah, you got it, Jan, that's the image I was hoping to project here.
Thank you for reading and reviewing my summer haiku.
It is appreciated.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Oh, . . .its the anticipation that is half the thrill! My hubby drove over-the-road for several years during our marriage. I can remember the last few days before he was due to come in after being gone for several weeks. We always enjoyed our 'home time.' Thank goodness, he doesn't drive anymore and we get to spend every evening and the weekends together.
Your haiku was full of meaning for me,
~patty~
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Oh, . . .its the anticipation that is half the thrill! My hubby drove over-the-road for several years during our marriage. I can remember the last few days before he was due to come in after being gone for several weeks. We always enjoyed our 'home time.' Thank goodness, he doesn't drive anymore and we get to spend every evening and the weekends together.
Your haiku was full of meaning for me,
~patty~
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thank you for sharing that with me, Patty. I've received similar stories from many others here.
Take care, I appreciate your review.
~Dean
Comment from MizKat
Hi Dean,
Your poem is written very well and really wonderful to read.
The picture you found to go with it also looks very comfortable.
It seems all of the poems I've read so far have received the ATB awards.
Kat
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Hi Dean,
Your poem is written very well and really wonderful to read.
The picture you found to go with it also looks very comfortable.
It seems all of the poems I've read so far have received the ATB awards.
Kat
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thanks for reading, MizKat.
I've been told by kiwisteveh and a few others here that the All Time Best ribbon means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things here at FanStory.
I'm inclined to agree with him.
Take care,
~Dean
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I think it's nice to see the All Time Best
Award even if it means nothing. Kat
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I couldn't care less.
To each their own.
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Ha-Ha. You got that right. Kat
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Indubitably...
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Ha-ha.
Comment from winnona
A well-written haiku club challenge of summer. I think of all the seasons summer is my favorite. I enjoy the heat. I love the noises on your soundtrack. I was trying to figure out all the different bird's songs. Well done
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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A well-written haiku club challenge of summer. I think of all the seasons summer is my favorite. I enjoy the heat. I love the noises on your soundtrack. I was trying to figure out all the different bird's songs. Well done
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thanks for reading, Winnona. I'm glad you enjoyed this.
Comment from TAB_that's me
Looks like you have all the basics of a haiku covered - kigo, satori, imagery, etc. It is also a very sweet little love poem as well.
Teresa
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Looks like you have all the basics of a haiku covered - kigo, satori, imagery, etc. It is also a very sweet little love poem as well.
Teresa
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thanks for reading, "t".
I try...
Comment from krys123
Hello Dean;
-I like the use of font you use because it's very typical for a summertime in the pictures very relative to the conceptual theme and very supportive.
-A handily well organized and composed haiku of summer which thoroughly signifies the timing as summer approaches timidly.
-A very good satori which effectively summarizes the relativity of the conceptual theme and the aha moment of the poem which excitingly establishes a verbal motion.
Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one my friend.
Alex
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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Hello Dean;
-I like the use of font you use because it's very typical for a summertime in the pictures very relative to the conceptual theme and very supportive.
-A handily well organized and composed haiku of summer which thoroughly signifies the timing as summer approaches timidly.
-A very good satori which effectively summarizes the relativity of the conceptual theme and the aha moment of the poem which excitingly establishes a verbal motion.
Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one my friend.
Alex
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Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thanks for reading, Alex.
Take care...
~Dean
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You're very welcome, Dean.
Alex
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, once again.
As before, the use of so few words to express one's feelings is remarkable. Well done.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Good morning, once again.
As before, the use of so few words to express one's feelings is remarkable. Well done.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 06-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2017
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Thanks, Ray, and you do the same.
~Dean
