Betrayal 266 words
Tough decisions often have lasting consequences.15 total reviews
Comment from Thomas Bowling
An excellent contest entry, but a sad day. No one likes to think of that day. As cruel as iy sounds, sometimes you wish they would die first.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
An excellent contest entry, but a sad day. No one likes to think of that day. As cruel as iy sounds, sometimes you wish they would die first.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
A traumatic time for all those concerned I am sure. Nice piece for the competition.
for the last fourteen Years.- don't need the capitalisation here.
This afternoon, it presented itself - you could lose 'it' here, it serves no real purpose.
as it slowly drew my mind to dark places, as I hurried - the repetition of 'as' sticks out here, watch for this.
GMG
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
Hi there,
A traumatic time for all those concerned I am sure. Nice piece for the competition.
for the last fourteen Years.- don't need the capitalisation here.
This afternoon, it presented itself - you could lose 'it' here, it serves no real purpose.
as it slowly drew my mind to dark places, as I hurried - the repetition of 'as' sticks out here, watch for this.
GMG
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
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Thanks for the input. Made two corrections. The (it) is referring back to the word guilt. Thanks, again.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Briefly the tale is shared, expression of which is remarkable, somewhat memorable, though fanciful, the story has a mystic sentiment, cause is well spread over with a resolution, I enjoyed the fateful spirit explored.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
Briefly the tale is shared, expression of which is remarkable, somewhat memorable, though fanciful, the story has a mystic sentiment, cause is well spread over with a resolution, I enjoyed the fateful spirit explored.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you or the kind review.
Comment from winnona
A well-written contest entry. Your words flowed well and the story moved right along from beginning to end. You created a very emotional story in a few well-chosen words good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
A well-written contest entry. Your words flowed well and the story moved right along from beginning to end. You created a very emotional story in a few well-chosen words good luck in the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Cass Carlton
I can relate to this in a similar gut wrenching way. My husband's mother had been assessed as being unfit to live alone, but she was insistent that she'd be alright .
We had her in Crisis Care for 10 days while they weened her off all the drugs she had convinced the doctors she needed and then the lady came to see if she would consider looking for "a place" in residential care. My husband and his brother were so scared of upsetting her they were useless, my husband's sister-in-law kept well out of the way, It was left to me to coax her into signing papers in front of the JP.
I did it very successfully, and Mother had 15 years of excellent residential care until her death at 96. But at the time I felt like I'd led her to a fate worse than death .The things we do for love! Cheers Cass
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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
I can relate to this in a similar gut wrenching way. My husband's mother had been assessed as being unfit to live alone, but she was insistent that she'd be alright .
We had her in Crisis Care for 10 days while they weened her off all the drugs she had convinced the doctors she needed and then the lady came to see if she would consider looking for "a place" in residential care. My husband and his brother were so scared of upsetting her they were useless, my husband's sister-in-law kept well out of the way, It was left to me to coax her into signing papers in front of the JP.
I did it very successfully, and Mother had 15 years of excellent residential care until her death at 96. But at the time I felt like I'd led her to a fate worse than death .The things we do for love! Cheers Cass
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2017
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thanks for the review and for sharing. We actually held off longer than what was safe. But that didn't alleviate the guilt. It was fourteen years ago and she has since passed but periodically that memory and that feeling springs out of nowhere