2017 JAPANESE POETRY
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "jisei haiku (chilled to the bone)"A collection of Japanese poetry
45 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
This is a fine Jesei poem for the contest
Very nice contrast between the children's laughter
and the empty chill of death
Excellent use of the em dash as a kireji
in a very good presentation
Well done, my friend
Good luck in the voting
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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This is a fine Jesei poem for the contest
Very nice contrast between the children's laughter
and the empty chill of death
Excellent use of the em dash as a kireji
in a very good presentation
Well done, my friend
Good luck in the voting
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Hello, my friend,
Thank you, sweetie pie, I really appreciate your review.
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Haiku Instructor and published author
member of the Haiku Society of America
Comment from Grasshopper2
Gypsy,
Such dark thoughts! Currently, you and others hold the fourth place, so I predict you will not win. Dean and Douglas are duking it out for 1st place. Children's laughter is what Jesus said was the most precious sound in the world. Take care, Lady Blue. I am enjoying learning the way of the Haiijni-Sensei.
Michael
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Gypsy,
Such dark thoughts! Currently, you and others hold the fourth place, so I predict you will not win. Dean and Douglas are duking it out for 1st place. Children's laughter is what Jesus said was the most precious sound in the world. Take care, Lady Blue. I am enjoying learning the way of the Haiijni-Sensei.
Michael
Comment Written 14-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2017
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Hello, my friend,
Thank you, sweetie pie, I really appreciate your review.
Namaste,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Haiku Instructor and published author
member of the Haiku Society of America
Comment from Susanjohn
A child's laughter...ahhhhh so deliciously intoxicating. I know what you mean!! great poem gypsy!! you so rock these!! :-)))
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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A child's laughter...ahhhhh so deliciously intoxicating. I know what you mean!! great poem gypsy!! you so rock these!! :-)))
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
thank you
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Haiku Instructor and Poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
Comment from HarryT
It took me awhile and several reads to get the full meaning of the poem. Very well done. I but if my interpretation is correct maybe an empty bed in a dreary bedchamber would have been more effective. I like this poem it made me think.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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It took me awhile and several reads to get the full meaning of the poem. Very well done. I but if my interpretation is correct maybe an empty bed in a dreary bedchamber would have been more effective. I like this poem it made me think.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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thank you for reading several times until you got the meaning, you are most kind
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Haiku Instructor and Poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
Comment from Sixty70
Chilled to the bone while remembering your children's laughter. I like the line that depicts the bed as empty. That is the way I think of death, as something done alone, no matter who is in the room with you.
Thanks for writing.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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Chilled to the bone while remembering your children's laughter. I like the line that depicts the bed as empty. That is the way I think of death, as something done alone, no matter who is in the room with you.
Thanks for writing.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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Yes! why can't all reviewers be smart and perceptive like you? LoL not everyone gets it and I am happy you did. Thank you!
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Haiku Instructor and Poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
Comment from chcbeck
A very powerful poem. The type of poem leads to haunting read, but yours is hauntingly beautiful. A great contest entry. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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A very powerful poem. The type of poem leads to haunting read, but yours is hauntingly beautiful. A great contest entry. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2017
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Thank you, my friend :)
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Haiku Instructor and Poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
Comment from Ulla
Hola Gitana, This is a fantastic jisei haiku and what an awesome representation. I hope my only daughter will be there as well when the time come. I love it. Un besito. Ulla:)xx
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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Hola Gitana, This is a fantastic jisei haiku and what an awesome representation. I hope my only daughter will be there as well when the time come. I love it. Un besito. Ulla:)xx
Comment Written 12-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2017
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I hope the time won't come for a long time. :)
Gracias guapa,
Gypsy Haijin Sensei
Fanstory Haiku Instructor and Poet
Member of the Haiku Society of America
~*~ a new haiku class every month ~*~
Comment from l.raven
HI Gypsy, I hope my kids will be near when I do die...we are so far a part in miles at times....love your poem sweet girl...and love your picture you....very nicely written...love ya Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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HI Gypsy, I hope my kids will be near when I do die...we are so far a part in miles at times....love your poem sweet girl...and love your picture you....very nicely written...love ya Linda xxoo
Comment Written 09-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2017
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thank you for the excellent review sweet thing... and helpful feedback :) my friend.... luv ya
namaste
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soooooooooooo welcome...xxoo love
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is a great haiku, my friend. I have read a considerable number of tanka on death and it seems the Japanese have a much more realistic outlook on life and death than we in the west do. Thanks for sharing this, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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This is a great haiku, my friend. I have read a considerable number of tanka on death and it seems the Japanese have a much more realistic outlook on life and death than we in the west do. Thanks for sharing this, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Thank you
Comment from Ella25
It's a fascinating form of poetry, perhaps the name to me is new as I write mostly free verse and some short ones. They could fall into this category; I don't bother, though. Life is too brief and busy enough, at least at this moment. Love the way of expressing death as laying on an empty bed as most likely no one would want to lie beside. The last thing before I go is to hear sweet children laughing. Not at you but how you remember them laughing. Excellent piece Blue Rose. I enjoyed reading it, and glad I hear from you again. With love, Ella
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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It's a fascinating form of poetry, perhaps the name to me is new as I write mostly free verse and some short ones. They could fall into this category; I don't bother, though. Life is too brief and busy enough, at least at this moment. Love the way of expressing death as laying on an empty bed as most likely no one would want to lie beside. The last thing before I go is to hear sweet children laughing. Not at you but how you remember them laughing. Excellent piece Blue Rose. I enjoyed reading it, and glad I hear from you again. With love, Ella
Comment Written 07-Mar-2017
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2017
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Yes! What can't other people get it? I'm so happy that you understood what I meant. Thank you!
I am deeply grateful for your review and kind words.
Gypsy haijin sensei
Fanstory Haiku Teacher
Member of the Haiku Society of America
I teach a new class every month
This month I'm teaching tanka
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You are welcome, sweet friend. With love, Ella
PS. Please stop at my portfolio today. There is something special to read.
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thank you, my friend, I love the free verse to celebrate women... how sweet of you. I like the way you write. :) I see you are fairly new, please, if you need help getting around fanstory let me know, I will be happy to help.
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You are welcome, my friend. Somehow, I prefer free verse where I can express myself better. I am not afraid to try, and I have tried different styles. Thank you for your offer and help. I will definitively contact you. With love, Ella