Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "haiku (dead and dried evergreen)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
10 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
:-(
Once decorated and displayed;
gathered 'round to celebrate
Christmas tree
lies discarded
with only snow for a blanket
...... brief love affair.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2017
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:-(
Once decorated and displayed;
gathered 'round to celebrate
Christmas tree
lies discarded
with only snow for a blanket
...... brief love affair.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2017
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Thank you :)
Comment from krys123
Praise to you, Gypsy;
-I gave this haiku very much thought as I enjoyed and liked reading it very much but I have come to not gripping the haiku's satori "echoes of laughter" and what bearing does it have on the "dead and dried Evergreen lies on snow-covered road". Unless one is to believe that it's funny for someone traveling down the road to be stopped by fallen Evergreen? And that someone would laugh seeing a fallen Evergreen fallen in middle-of-the-road? Just don't get the humor in this and how it is adjusting to the first two grammatically connected lines.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Praise to you, Gypsy;
-I gave this haiku very much thought as I enjoyed and liked reading it very much but I have come to not gripping the haiku's satori "echoes of laughter" and what bearing does it have on the "dead and dried Evergreen lies on snow-covered road". Unless one is to believe that it's funny for someone traveling down the road to be stopped by fallen Evergreen? And that someone would laugh seeing a fallen Evergreen fallen in middle-of-the-road? Just don't get the humor in this and how it is adjusting to the first two grammatically connected lines.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 22-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Thank you, my friend :)
Gypsy
Comment from Joan E.
You're back! Thank you for sharing this uplifting haiku about winter. I admired your presenting the poem embedded in the parallel artwork. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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You're back! Thank you for sharing this uplifting haiku about winter. I admired your presenting the poem embedded in the parallel artwork. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Yes, I am back. Thank God I don't stay sad for long. Today the sun came out and I walked half of the day. I had to run errands and the walk did me good.
Thank you for reading, Sister Joan,
Gypsy
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Yes, exercise and sunshine are good antidotes. Smiles- Joan
Comment from Douglas Paul
I see a lot of layered meaning in this one, my friend - the echoes of laughter as life draws to a close. This is very well done and the black and white presentation is perfect for this
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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I see a lot of layered meaning in this one, my friend - the echoes of laughter as life draws to a close. This is very well done and the black and white presentation is perfect for this
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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That is an interesting observation. I was feeling down yesterday, as everyone knows now ... lol... and I thought about my kids and how I am when I am around them. I really missed them. The evergreen on the road represents Xmas past and the laughter echoes are their laughter. Anyway ... that is what I was feeling when I wrote it but it's different for everyone who reads it and that is fine.
gypsy hugs
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ahhhh - I can see that
Comment from Dean Kuch
I pictured a Christmas tree that has seen better days, as Christmas has long since passed, awaiting the refuse truck as it lay browning on the curb.
The echoes of children's laughter would have been a wonderful soundtrack to add to this, but it is beautifully well written just as it is.
Fabulous...
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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I pictured a Christmas tree that has seen better days, as Christmas has long since passed, awaiting the refuse truck as it lay browning on the curb.
The echoes of children's laughter would have been a wonderful soundtrack to add to this, but it is beautifully well written just as it is.
Fabulous...
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Dean, I appreciate your review and kind words.
Gypsy
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Sure.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent description of the evergreen as dead and dried. This makes me wonder what had happened. Was it blown down during a storm or did it just die in the natural course of events. If it had been used as a Christmas tree, that would explain the echoes of laughter. The tree had its moment making others happy. The artwork conveys the bleak winter. I believe the Haiku deserves its own spot. It looks kind of in the background in the artwork. judi
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Excellent description of the evergreen as dead and dried. This makes me wonder what had happened. Was it blown down during a storm or did it just die in the natural course of events. If it had been used as a Christmas tree, that would explain the echoes of laughter. The tree had its moment making others happy. The artwork conveys the bleak winter. I believe the Haiku deserves its own spot. It looks kind of in the background in the artwork. judi
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Dean, I appreciate your review and kind words.
Gypsy
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Hi, Gypsy. You're welcome. I have sometimes been confused with other reviewers, but never before with Dean! judi
Comment from Ric Myworld
I can't truly give a meaningful critique and helpful review to anyone who needs instruction to make their poems better, as I have no idea of what's right or wrong myself. However, I can imagine a hollowed out Evergreen lying by a snowy road and children's playful noises echoing throughout the woods. Thanks for the pleasure of reading another of your fine poems. :-)
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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I can't truly give a meaningful critique and helpful review to anyone who needs instruction to make their poems better, as I have no idea of what's right or wrong myself. However, I can imagine a hollowed out Evergreen lying by a snowy road and children's playful noises echoing throughout the woods. Thanks for the pleasure of reading another of your fine poems. :-)
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Ric. I teach haiku in FanStory and I teach monthly classes if you are ever interested in learning how to write and review haiku. :)
Your review is appreciated.
gypsy
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I may very well take one of your classes down the road. Right now, I just had surgery and I'm having to hunt and peck with my off hand. It will be a while before I can even keep up with my review, LOL!
Comment from Sis Cat
I love this one. I do not know why but it speaks to me because the dead and dried evergreen remind me of dead Christmas trees. Your satori "echoes of laughter" reminds me of the echoes of laughter being heard about the past Christmas. I do not know. Your haiku works on me on another emotional, spiritual level. It is chilling and evocative.
Thank you for sharing your talent.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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I love this one. I do not know why but it speaks to me because the dead and dried evergreen remind me of dead Christmas trees. Your satori "echoes of laughter" reminds me of the echoes of laughter being heard about the past Christmas. I do not know. Your haiku works on me on another emotional, spiritual level. It is chilling and evocative.
Thank you for sharing your talent.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Wow, you are the best reviewer. That's exactly what I had in mind. Thank you, I'm glad someone saw it for what it was.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from BOO ghost
Another dandy! BOO is getting the chills with all this winter stuff. Looks like a Christmas card. Nice twist of words and twisted dead limbs on the winter foliage. very nice entry for the prompt. Another masterpiece. Good deeds come full circle. I think the gang is starting to know what i mean by that. BOO!
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Another dandy! BOO is getting the chills with all this winter stuff. Looks like a Christmas card. Nice twist of words and twisted dead limbs on the winter foliage. very nice entry for the prompt. Another masterpiece. Good deeds come full circle. I think the gang is starting to know what i mean by that. BOO!
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Hello, Boo, thank you, honey. Yes it's about Christmas past. I appreciate your review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
Thank you for the beautiful six stars. You are very generous.
Comment from winnona
Another well-written haiku challenge poem. The photo is interesting ad completed the poem well. The words flowed well and again captured the feeling of the season well.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Another well-written haiku challenge poem. The photo is interesting ad completed the poem well. The words flowed well and again captured the feeling of the season well.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you, honey, I appreciate you read my stuff. Take care,
Gypsy
