Reviews from

Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Chapter Funf part vier"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

36 total reviews 
Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Detectives Campbell and O'Reilly provide a law enforcement perspective on the nefarious characters surrounding the painting. True but sad that they won't help Shana until the men harm her. So much for being proactive. It remains to be seen if these detectives help or hurt the investigation.

Thanks for sharing this chapter of your romance thriller.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review. I always appreciate hearing from you.
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I was concerned about how Shana would respond to the detective's question, but she handled it very nicely. I like Anderson's no-nonsense approach. He seems very capable of taking care of Shana. I hope she realizes how foolish it was to attempt to leave. Nice work with this chapter. You have continued to keep my interest peeked with this story. I look forward to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    I hope you're feeling better. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So the detectives who have brought Shana back to the protection of Anderson's penthouse, question him concerning Shana and Jeff Burke, saying there's very little they can do little to protest Shana from the antagonists, unless they actually hurt her. The plot's hotting up a bit now Barbara, what's lined up, will be nothing short of exciting! Well done, good scribing, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the encouragement.
reply by royowen on 20-Feb-2017
    Most welcome Barbara
Comment from light
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Moving along at a good pace. The dialogue seems natural and believable. The truth is that the police will be no protection for her. She is better off trusting Anderson. Great read.
Elaine

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    I agree, the police can't help her. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done, dear friend. Good read, as usual. I love how you tie things together. Keep it up.Yes, improvement in the lack of spag...just one this time...speaking with (h)is lawyer.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the encouragement and the catch. I made the correction.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Always you leave us on the edge of our seat with your phenomenal stories, Barbara and this is of course no exception! You must take great pains to get your stories so fluid and vivacious. I love reading your work great prose writers fascinate me as I am just a beginner with prose, you have really earned your stripes, well done kind regards Meia x

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from bookishfabler
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another great chapter. Nice back and forth with the detectives. I found no nits or spags that I can see. I am looking forward to the next chapter.
hugs Heidi

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from mbroyles2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You are moving this story along quite nicely and we get a feeling that Anderson is about to debunk any notion Shana has about leaving and give her assurance that her presence will not affect his custody battle.
In fact, I suspect, that it could help, eventually that is.
Terrific suspense keeps me waiting for the next chapter.
Michael

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Barbara, well at least she's safe with Anderson. The police don't seem to make any bones of anything, so they're not very helpful at all. Are they? Well written chapter. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review. I doubt the police can help Shana in any way.
Comment from Heidi M
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good job with this section. Shana explains her actions and situation well. It sounds like the police won't be overly helpful. Good thing Anderson is capable.
getting into a stranger(')s car
Suggestion: 'explain how you came into possession of these' OR 'explain how you came to have possession of these'
'Anderson stepped toward the door' is written twice in one paragraph.
When he pauses at the door, you may want to indicate that he's talking to Shana when he seeks permission to return the papers to his safe.
This continues to be an interesting story.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
    Thank you. I have made the corrections. I appreciate the help.