Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "haiku (sharp painted claws)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
33 total reviews
Comment from Grasshopper2
Uh, oh. Wordplay, seductive thoughts, courage eh? Women. Women are proof aliens have landed and lived among us. Syllabic count of 5 6 2, with a total of 13 are well below the 17 or less for haiku. The syllabic count lends itself to word economy. Your words total 9. This economic use of the best words utilized in the best way is the best of the best to use in this way. Your Satori is a double entendre.
Thank you for this...ride.
Moi sans-a-cheesecake
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2017
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Uh, oh. Wordplay, seductive thoughts, courage eh? Women. Women are proof aliens have landed and lived among us. Syllabic count of 5 6 2, with a total of 13 are well below the 17 or less for haiku. The syllabic count lends itself to word economy. Your words total 9. This economic use of the best words utilized in the best way is the best of the best to use in this way. Your Satori is a double entendre.
Thank you for this...ride.
Moi sans-a-cheesecake
Comment Written 24-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2017
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Ha! You goof!
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Opps! SPAGs galore in my response.
Here: thoughts, COURAGE eh?
Edited: thoughts, COUGAR, eh?
Here: landed and LIVED among us
Edited: landed and LIVE among us
Oh, the travesty of public humiliation of a muse gone mad!
LOL
Comment from Linda Engel
So...you know women like that, too? Who ever came up with this comparison hit the mark. Nothing like a cat to rip you apart and put you in your place. I'm beginni8ng to enjoy these haikus. Interesting. (and co clever)
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2017
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So...you know women like that, too? Who ever came up with this comparison hit the mark. Nothing like a cat to rip you apart and put you in your place. I'm beginni8ng to enjoy these haikus. Interesting. (and co clever)
Comment Written 23-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2017
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Thanks, Linda! You ARE catching up, huh? Have a super day!
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
I loved it. For such little words, it made a strong statement. It was fierce and to the point. Love the picture as well.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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I loved it. For such little words, it made a strong statement. It was fierce and to the point. Love the picture as well.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Thank you!
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your welcome
Comment from krys123
Greetings, Robyn;
-with graceful intensity I enjoyed reading your haiku as its composition and structure is perfectly woven for that of a haiku. With two grammatically connected lines in a satori which satisfactorily intensifies the haiku with an aha moment and summarizes the relativity of the conceptual theme.
-The satori, "cougar", and in my opinion only, Is plainly chosen and I also think that it could be a stronger satori and my suggestion would be "lurking lioness". but that's just my humble opinion.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one especially with the one you love.
Alex
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Greetings, Robyn;
-with graceful intensity I enjoyed reading your haiku as its composition and structure is perfectly woven for that of a haiku. With two grammatically connected lines in a satori which satisfactorily intensifies the haiku with an aha moment and summarizes the relativity of the conceptual theme.
-The satori, "cougar", and in my opinion only, Is plainly chosen and I also think that it could be a stronger satori and my suggestion would be "lurking lioness". but that's just my humble opinion.
-Thanks for sharing and take care and have a good one especially with the one you love.
Alex
Comment Written 22-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Thank you!
Comment from Lu Saluna
Robyn, you Cougar you! Hahaha
Good one, I like this one, it is very good. "concrete jungle" - the dead giveaway
I bet you would write damn good erotica!
Hugs, Lura
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Robyn, you Cougar you! Hahaha
Good one, I like this one, it is very good. "concrete jungle" - the dead giveaway
I bet you would write damn good erotica!
Hugs, Lura
Comment Written 22-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Haha! That's something we'll never know!
Comment from write hand blue
In my younger days we were aware of these creatures. They have been bred in every generation. (they must be pensioners now). We used to watch out for them and keep out of the claw's striking range. LOL.
I had to read it twice to realise the double meaning. Well composed from a good idea...
~Mel~
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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In my younger days we were aware of these creatures. They have been bred in every generation. (they must be pensioners now). We used to watch out for them and keep out of the claw's striking range. LOL.
I had to read it twice to realise the double meaning. Well composed from a good idea...
~Mel~
Comment Written 22-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Mel!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Who are you talking about? mua? LOL nah, I don't paint my nails nor do I date baby boys. Very clever, Ms Robyn. I like it!
Gypsy
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Who are you talking about? mua? LOL nah, I don't paint my nails nor do I date baby boys. Very clever, Ms Robyn. I like it!
Gypsy
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2017
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Thanks!
Comment from l.raven
HI Robyn, awesome picture...I love it...and you poem perfect...and your wording so true...that's all that is left for them...very well written sweet girl...love ya Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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HI Robyn, awesome picture...I love it...and you poem perfect...and your wording so true...that's all that is left for them...very well written sweet girl...love ya Linda xxoo
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Hahahaha! Thank you!
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soooooooo welcome you who...xxoo love
Comment from BOO ghost
haha, this could be used as a metaphor. Acougar could be an older female lady. haha, and they got claws too! Very creative mammal haiku. Love the picture! Painted claws is the give away and concrete jungle. You got concrete images too. Outstanding, BOO!
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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haha, this could be used as a metaphor. Acougar could be an older female lady. haha, and they got claws too! Very creative mammal haiku. Love the picture! Painted claws is the give away and concrete jungle. You got concrete images too. Outstanding, BOO!
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Thank you!
Comment from judiverse
Oh, those lady tigers! I think they're a high school basketball team around here. In your first two lines, I could envision a predatory female with her long painted fingernails, walking the streets, looking for a potential customer. It's a jungle out there! Sounds like you had fun writing this. judi
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Oh, those lady tigers! I think they're a high school basketball team around here. In your first two lines, I could envision a predatory female with her long painted fingernails, walking the streets, looking for a potential customer. It's a jungle out there! Sounds like you had fun writing this. judi
Comment Written 21-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2017
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Hahahaha! Good guess!
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You're welcome. This was great fun. judi
