Reviews from

Perennials of War

Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Chapter Funf part drei"
Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan

36 total reviews 
Comment from DonandVicki
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love to read and review good Romance fiction like yours. you have a way of capturing the readers attention and keeping the wanting more at the end.Don and Vicki.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Scary experience and a good scene. If Shana wasn't afraid before, she sure is now. Why would the RUssian mafia care so much about a painting? Or is there another reason they want Shana? Has Shana been totally honest with Drew?

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Lu Saluna
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very good chapter. A close call for Shana. The Russians are hanging about like a pair of vultures. Anderson is being very protective of her. I have been wondering if he is being a super good guy of a bad buy disguised as a good guy.
I know I have to wait. :-))
Well written and the story is flowing very well.

There is a bit of an error in this sentence:
"There are polices waiting to question her. Please bring her."
Try this:
"There are police officers waiting to question her. Please bring her."
or "two policemen"
polices is not a proper plural of the word police.


 Comment Written 13-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RGstar
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Barbara, I wanted to come in and support the stories a little as many authors have supported my work.
I haven't followed the other chapters, but liked the flow and narrative to this. Good action scene, nothing forced. A good easy flow, as well, seemingly good interplay between characters.
You are a good writer.
Have a great day.
RGstar

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

There are polices waiting to question her. Should be police or policemen maybe my friend
I enjoyed the story is really building up now of course shin is being held against her will but the police have jumped to that conclusion because she must come across as confused I enjoyed well done my friend regards Jill

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from light
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow! So much going on. I guess it would be natural to think she was being held against her will. I wonder what they will do with the information Anderson gave them. Intriguing
Elaine

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Barbara, well there was a lot of good dialogue and she was a bit foolish to leave on her own. I would have liked to see a bit more of the scenes surrounding the happenings. I don't know, the whole chapter lacked a bit of 'soul'. I'm sorry. I like the story line a lot. All the best. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Heidi M
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The mafia men are persistent, I'll give them that. This was a good chapter, but I would have liked more detail leading up to and including the attack. Thank goodness she had the faithful dogs with her!
Interesting that the detective noticed how she watched Drew. He sounds like he is good at his job since he is observant.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted



"There are police[s] waiting to question her - police

Shana's not out of danger yet but thinks she can survive alone - she needs to be with people who can protect her.

An enjoyable chapter, Barbara.

Margaret

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Barbara,

I am a little troubled by this chapter, to tell you the truth. This doesn't seem like your writing at all. As I read, you skipped so much. There were no descriptions of the actions at all, just mostly dialogue. I never had any chance to IMAGINE what was happening. What any of the characters were doing, how they were moving, where they were, what they looked like, etc. There was nothing GROUNDING the scene. This was not your usual stuff, I'm sorry.

Some other notes:
1.) On the sidewalk, I'll call for a (t)axi.

2.) "There are (police) waiting to question her. Please bring her."

3.) "Ma'am, I've noticed you watching Mr. Sharp. "Are you being held against your
--> no need for the quotation marks in the middle

I hate the lowered rating and would love to change. Can you edit? Your work is typically first-rate and I almost always enjoy. Let me know! Thank you!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2017


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the kind review. I have made all the corrections.