Scripts
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Love on the Rocks"Scripts
6 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Loveit, mikey. I have seen Niel twice in concert and he is absolutey amazing. I love how that plays into your well-written script, my friend, Well written and a strong ending as well
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Loveit, mikey. I have seen Niel twice in concert and he is absolutey amazing. I love how that plays into your well-written script, my friend, Well written and a strong ending as well
Comment Written 12-Feb-2017
Comment from Pantygynt
Aw you left out all the juicy bits. We never even got a cut to the surf rolling in. Now I am no cocktail buff but am I right in thinking that a black russian is a Ginness and Vodka? I can't think of anything else it could be apart from a vodka and Guinness of course. Either way -- Yuk!.
He seemed to get the pick up lines OK but seemed a bit at a loss on the verbal foreplay. Great fun.
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Aw you left out all the juicy bits. We never even got a cut to the surf rolling in. Now I am no cocktail buff but am I right in thinking that a black russian is a Ginness and Vodka? I can't think of anything else it could be apart from a vodka and Guinness of course. Either way -- Yuk!.
He seemed to get the pick up lines OK but seemed a bit at a loss on the verbal foreplay. Great fun.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
Comment from nordicgirl
Yes, now this sounds a lot like you, Michael. I like it a lot!!!
A realidtic feel to this. Teal people saying real things I guess I would say.
I love how you left names and details out. We can fill in the blanks our own way. That added so much for me. It made it personal and drew me in. Well, anyway, I think you should carry on with these. You have a knack. NG
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Yes, now this sounds a lot like you, Michael. I like it a lot!!!
A realidtic feel to this. Teal people saying real things I guess I would say.
I love how you left names and details out. We can fill in the blanks our own way. That added so much for me. It made it personal and drew me in. Well, anyway, I think you should carry on with these. You have a knack. NG
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Oh that was lovely mikey, finishing with a happy ending.
What a great line you've come up with for this man, and it obviously worked for him. Enjoyed this, had a real life feel to it, easy to visualize.
Like how you used 'Love on the rocks'
cheers,
valda
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Oh that was lovely mikey, finishing with a happy ending.
What a great line you've come up with for this man, and it obviously worked for him. Enjoyed this, had a real life feel to it, easy to visualize.
Like how you used 'Love on the rocks'
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 07-Feb-2017
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
This did not come through on your message reminder for me, I had to go find it after Kim told me you did one. You are still on my list but I did not get notification.
Very well done dear friend. AAAAAhhhhh to wake in someones arms is still a good thing.
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This did not come through on your message reminder for me, I had to go find it after Kim told me you did one. You are still on my list but I did not get notification.
Very well done dear friend. AAAAAhhhhh to wake in someones arms is still a good thing.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2017
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Mikey,
I like the way you opened your scene with the men talking at the bar. It gave a sense of characterization and set the stage for his meeting with the woman. I hope at some point maybe they exchanged names lol at least before ending up in bed, that is. It sounds like the classic lonely souls hooking up after last call. It was real world perfectly believable stuff. Good job with that.
Just one small suggestion:
shyly shaking her head and smiling sheepishly as she shook her head. (Maybe leave out the last "as she shook her head" part? It just seems redundant to put it twice in the same sentence.)
Good luck with the contest.
Kim
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Hi Mikey,
I like the way you opened your scene with the men talking at the bar. It gave a sense of characterization and set the stage for his meeting with the woman. I hope at some point maybe they exchanged names lol at least before ending up in bed, that is. It sounds like the classic lonely souls hooking up after last call. It was real world perfectly believable stuff. Good job with that.
Just one small suggestion:
shyly shaking her head and smiling sheepishly as she shook her head. (Maybe leave out the last "as she shook her head" part? It just seems redundant to put it twice in the same sentence.)
Good luck with the contest.
Kim
Comment Written 06-Feb-2017
