first night fright
a 50 word story7 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This fifty-word story, First Night Fright, can be pictured just as you presented it. So funny and sounds like it could be true. Your final word needs an I (window). Happy day.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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This fifty-word story, First Night Fright, can be pictured just as you presented it. So funny and sounds like it could be true. Your final word needs an I (window). Happy day.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Ha ha, totally true. My mom was nervous about travelling so far, everything was different for her and I scared the hell out of her. Rain was horizonta,l lightning flashing, thunder booming and a thrashing white ghost was coming in through her window! We laugh about it now. Thanks for the review Bill, cheers, j
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I can fully picture the scene and the fright your mother must have had. good job fitting this into the word requirements. All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Hi there,
I can fully picture the scene and the fright your mother must have had. good job fitting this into the word requirements. All the best
GMG
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thanks for the review. We laugh aboutit now, but I scared the hell out of her. She was nervous about travelling so far and a strange bed etc. The rain was coming in horizontal and lightning flashing , then this waving spectre coming in through her window, bless. Cheers, j
Comment from winnona
A well-written contest entry. I think you completed the challenge of the contest well. Your words flowed well and the story actually built up some suspense. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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A well-written contest entry. I think you completed the challenge of the contest well. Your words flowed well and the story actually built up some suspense. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2017
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Thanks for the review, cheers, j
Comment from jusylee72
This is a very visual story but I am not sure it humorous. I hate to be scared. Great job in creating a quick great fifty word contest piece. It's hard to have a beginning and end with such a small amount of words
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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This is a very visual story but I am not sure it humorous. I hate to be scared. Great job in creating a quick great fifty word contest piece. It's hard to have a beginning and end with such a small amount of words
Comment Written 03-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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Thanks for your review. My mom and I have been laughing about this for years.Cheers, j
Comment from Bobbi22
I can relate to this story. The billowing curtains wrapped around could surely cause a fright. Hope it didn't take too long for your mother to recover. Well written. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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I can relate to this story. The billowing curtains wrapped around could surely cause a fright. Hope it didn't take too long for your mother to recover. Well written. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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Thanks for the review. I felt bad for scaring her, but once she realized everythng was okay, we had a laugh. We still laugh about this little episode years later, cheers, j
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The verbal structure of the story reminisces the semblance of ghosts evoked by the wild flapping of linen curtains arounnd a man caused by thunderstorm.
The work highights the fright occasioned by the flapping linens and the man on his mother who happened to be visiting Africa for the first time.
The work earns compliance in its humorous as well as its 50 word count specification outlined by the writing prompt custodians. Bravo!
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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The verbal structure of the story reminisces the semblance of ghosts evoked by the wild flapping of linen curtains arounnd a man caused by thunderstorm.
The work highights the fright occasioned by the flapping linens and the man on his mother who happened to be visiting Africa for the first time.
The work earns compliance in its humorous as well as its 50 word count specification outlined by the writing prompt custodians. Bravo!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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Thanks for the insightful review, we still laugh about that night, cheers, j
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Remain Blessed!
Comment from humpwhistle
When you have but 50 words at your disposal, maybe 'It was' isn't a great start?
'My mother's first night visiting me in Africa, a fierce storm blew in.' Save words early, have the luxury to use words later. Kurt Vonnegut said, "Start your story as close to the end as possible." Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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When you have but 50 words at your disposal, maybe 'It was' isn't a great start?
'My mother's first night visiting me in Africa, a fierce storm blew in.' Save words early, have the luxury to use words later. Kurt Vonnegut said, "Start your story as close to the end as possible." Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 03-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2017
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Thanks for the helpful advice from you and Vonnegut. Cheers, j
