Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.

Excellent

Yes, you are so right. Ghosts of confederates and slaves should haunt us all for the travesty that was committed. Surely we can admit it, remember it, and move on.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2020

Thanks for the excellent review and for the comments supporting this poem. I think there is good and evil in all societies, and in all people. We all need Christ to give us grace, infuse us with the spirit to become better people. I wanted to raise the questions and let people come up with their own answers. It seems to have gotten alot of people thinking. that is good estory

reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 21-Jul-2020

You did very well in this writing. You do make people think. God is still over all.

Comment from Tracy Locklin

Good

I love American history, and poems like this that deal with our complicated past. The contrast you paint between the grace of the city and its sordid history is well done. And the fact that it is done in a sonnet form is very impressive.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2017

Thanks for your four star review and your encouraging comments. It is a complicated place, one that makes you think of many different scenarios that took place there. Lots of tragedy all around estory

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

A beautiful flow throughout your sonnet which is difficult achieve, perfect rhymes and a great cultural American theme, loved it, regards Dolly x

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2017

Thanks for your five star review and all your wonderful comments. I am glad you said it had good flow. I strive for that conversational, easy flowing language in sonnets. the rhyme is a little abstract in some places. someone told me it was out of rhyme scheme. everyone looks at thing different. thanks for the review estory

Comment from Luna

Excellent

You made good of that sonnet, and I enjoyed the rhyme. This is the first time I think that I've seen you write in a specific format. Thanks for sharing this one.

peace,

jeni

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five stars and your encouraging comments. I do prefer more experimental forms, but I also appreciate these classical forms and I think for a time I will post some. This sonnet is really, as I say in the notes, much influenced by the style in which Yeats did his sonnets. The form can be very beautiful, but I like to update them a bit and use more conversational language and more contemporary themes and images estory

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

This mix sonnet appears well structured in good rhyme scheme with superb closing couplet; I liked the work but conversational language seems restricted or not so appropriately expressed, I found it more descriptive statement, while I enjoyed free flow of thoughts, artistic poetic flavour, diction, mystic flavour, metaphysical tuning, image projection, thematic progression and movement.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five stars and your encouraging comments. I am glad you thought the poem flowed well, that's what I mean by conversational language. written as you speak it in public to an audience today. estory

Comment from Heidi M

Excellent

I didn't know the Charleston area had rice fields. I would have thought tobacco was the major crop.
I'm not sure if you followed the rhyme scheme you wrote about in your author notes, but I liked your poem nevertheless.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five stars and your comments. I have visited Charleston three times and all the plantations, and yes, it was rice that was the major cash crop. In the antebellum period, South Carolina was the largest producer of rice in the world. the African slaves brought its cultivation over from West Africa,l and by 1861, Williams Middleton was one of the richest men in America. The rhyme scheme is kind of off rhyme in some spots, I like to pair up similar sounding words rather than strict rhymes, it sounds a little more conversational. estory
s

reply by Heidi M on 27-Jan-2017

Thanks for sharing the information about the rice fields. I found that surprising and interesting.

Comment from marybell1

Good

I am sorry that I could not review you higher as I liked your story. Unfortunately lines 2 and 4 do not rhyme, nor do lines 6 and 8. Also I was not able to find the iambic pentameter. I find this rather a difficult form of poetry, but I wish you all the best. Keep trying.
Marybell1.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017

Thanks for your review and your suggestions. I use off rhyme, like sounding words sometimes, to keep it a little more conversational. I am glad you liked the story. it is a complicated city, one that stirs up all kinds of emotions; mostly sad, I think. there is a lot of tragedy in Charleston. The ghost tour there is tops estory

Comment from BermyBye50

Exceptional

Estory,

Welcome back to FanStory.

Thank you for sharing this great example of an English Italianate sonnet. I am still finding my way here on Fanstory and am encouraged even more to continue learning an writing poetry following in the footsteps of true masters such as yourself.

Great write

Eugene

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017

Thanks for your six star review and your wonderful comments. I am not really a true master. That would be someone like Yeats, Keats, or Shakespeare. But I do like trying. Plenty of poetry to enjoy here in all kinds of forms and levels estory

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

Wow. I wish I had six stars for you. Not only is this beautifully written, it tells such a poignant story. I've never been to Charleston, SC, but we have plantations here, where slaves were owned, and the rich lived. I always wonder the same things. Was it all just relative to them? A way of life that they were born to, few saw the evil? A way of life slaves were born into, few saw their freedom. A beautiful poem, blessings...

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five star review and your wonderful comments. Yes, I think you got the feeling I was trying to create; the tragedy of this city, the beauty of the houses, the architecture, undermined by the money made from slavery. In the antebellum period, South Carolina was the largest producer of rice in the world, a plant brought over by the Africans and cultivated by them. By 1861, Williams Middleton had become one of the richest men in America. All through his slaves. estory

reply by Irish Rain on 27-Jan-2017

Slavery was an abomination, it's a pity, hopefully a lesson everyone can learn from.

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

Excellent. I don't know much about poetry but I know if something sounds good to me. This is well written and enjoyable to read. Good work.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2017

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reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017

Thanks for the five star review and your wonderful comments. I am glad you enjoyed it. If you liked this you'd probably enjoy reading some Yeats, or Keats. Two of my idols. This poem is really very much in the style of sonnet that Yeats wrote in Upon A House Shaken by the Land Agitation. estory