Comment from Thal1959

Good

Sorry to say this, but the work is not conforming to your own author's notes. "Houses" does not rhyme with "servants," and "slaves" doe not rhyme with "elegance." Also, "rice' and nights" are a forced rhyme as is "culture" and "nature." The rhymes are just too far off to qualify for the sonnet form you described.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2017

---

reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017

Thanks for your review and your suggestions. I don't always like to have exact rhymes, so I go with like sounding words much of the time. I think Rice and Nights and culture and nature are pretty close, or close enough. Maybe Shakespeare would roll over in his grave, but maybe not Yeats. estory

reply by Thal1959 on 27-Jan-2017

Thank you for understanding and being so gracious.