Until The Cows Come Home
A valentine from my son34 total reviews
Comment from mbroyles2
Knowing what my children mean to me, I can't fathom how you must feel. What courage to write about it.
I'll admit a few tears trickled down my face.
Your story really moved me.
Michael
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Knowing what my children mean to me, I can't fathom how you must feel. What courage to write about it.
I'll admit a few tears trickled down my face.
Your story really moved me.
Michael
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thank you for reading and commenting. I had the weirdest feeling that Roy wanted me to write the story. Who knows?
Comment from Sixty70
A touching, heart-rending story. It took a lot of courage to open that box and to write this story.
Two simple 'helps' for that editing:
"...so I put a check mark on it and sat it outside." You need 'set it outside.'
"It seemed more stuff was staying then leaving." You need "...than leaving."
Your story touched my heart and I'm sure it has touched others also. So sorry about your loss.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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A touching, heart-rending story. It took a lot of courage to open that box and to write this story.
Two simple 'helps' for that editing:
"...so I put a check mark on it and sat it outside." You need 'set it outside.'
"It seemed more stuff was staying then leaving." You need "...than leaving."
Your story touched my heart and I'm sure it has touched others also. So sorry about your loss.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thank you. I will edit and correct the errors. I love all the help reviewers give me.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, April. Excellent writing, my friend. Lines like this are so poignant: " I guess I was afraid I would tear the scab off the wound in my heart. This is a heartbreaking story, my friend. I can relate. In 1981 I lost my 14 year-old son to an accident. I wrote about the freaky nature of him being killed by a bowling ball. It's in a short stroy called "Top Of The Mountain" in my portfolio from about eight years ago.
As I said, it must have been hard for you to open that box. My wife still had our son's baby clothes when she died two years ago.
I think you have an excellent chancde of wiining the contest, April.
Suggestions: "Well, that one stays,' I smiled to myself. (End this with "I smiled")
You don't need "to myself"
God bless you, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Hi, April. Excellent writing, my friend. Lines like this are so poignant: " I guess I was afraid I would tear the scab off the wound in my heart. This is a heartbreaking story, my friend. I can relate. In 1981 I lost my 14 year-old son to an accident. I wrote about the freaky nature of him being killed by a bowling ball. It's in a short stroy called "Top Of The Mountain" in my portfolio from about eight years ago.
As I said, it must have been hard for you to open that box. My wife still had our son's baby clothes when she died two years ago.
I think you have an excellent chancde of wiining the contest, April.
Suggestions: "Well, that one stays,' I smiled to myself. (End this with "I smiled")
You don't need "to myself"
God bless you, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Thanks. I will go back and fix that error. I try to catch these but, like I said, I never went back and edited this. I will now. So sorry to hear you lost your son too. Your son was almost the same age as mine. Roy was sixteen when he was killed. I will read your story about your son.
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Let me know what you think, April. will you? Bless you, Bob
Comment from Stephendick24
I'm sure this was tough to write, so let me say I'm proud of you for doing so. I'm not sure I believe everything happens for a reason, but, if we learn something from everything, maybe that's the reason. Make sense? I believe when we bury our past, we do so at our own risk. As Faulkner said, "The past isn't dead, it isn't even past."
Well done!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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I'm sure this was tough to write, so let me say I'm proud of you for doing so. I'm not sure I believe everything happens for a reason, but, if we learn something from everything, maybe that's the reason. Make sense? I believe when we bury our past, we do so at our own risk. As Faulkner said, "The past isn't dead, it isn't even past."
Well done!
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Thank you for reading and the six stars. I agree with you, I think I have been afraid to face the past in an up close way. I put those items in the box in 1985 and never could go back and look at them until now.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
How sad that is, yet I imagine now, after all this time, you can smile at that lovely gift of love he gave you. It's yours forever. I am sure you will treasure it. I am just so sorry you lost your son, I can't imagine the pain that must have given you. This is a really lovely story, written with love. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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How sad that is, yet I imagine now, after all this time, you can smile at that lovely gift of love he gave you. It's yours forever. I am sure you will treasure it. I am just so sorry you lost your son, I can't imagine the pain that must have given you. This is a really lovely story, written with love. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Thank you. I would not have written this story ever, but I had the strangest feeling that Roy wanted me to so I did.
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I am sure he did. Our loved ones are never far from us after they pass over. I know that for sure because of mine. Take care my friend.
Comment from fimarie78
Thank you for sharing this with us. You are so brace. I needed tissues for this story. You have a lovely writing style which engages the reader from the beginning.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Thank you for sharing this with us. You are so brace. I needed tissues for this story. You have a lovely writing style which engages the reader from the beginning.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Thank you. I don't know if it was writing style with this story. It just came pouring out of my heart. I think Roy wanted me to write the story. Thank you for reading and the six stars.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
What a brilliant and interesting yet heartrending write, A beautiful and impressive piece painted skillfully this is truly incredible, Well done an elegant and outstanding write. well done kindest regards. Meia :)
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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What a brilliant and interesting yet heartrending write, A beautiful and impressive piece painted skillfully this is truly incredible, Well done an elegant and outstanding write. well done kindest regards. Meia :)
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Thank you for reading and commenting. This story was written from my heart.
Comment from dweigt
What a moving piece! It takes a lot of courage to write about things so close to the heart. Really, nothing needs to change, but I do have two minor suggestions.
Strictly speaking, you should call the toy cars "Hot Wheels®", including the "registered trademark symbol", especially if you are considering publishing this. But it might be easier and more accurate to refer to them as "diecast cars" (or die cast, or die-cast, all seem to be accepted spellings), or simply "toy cars". I'll bet there are a few "Matchbox®" and other brand toys in that collection as well.
I sat the pencil holder aside so I could use it. -- I set the pencil holder aside so I could use it.
Thanks for sharing this. Keep writing!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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What a moving piece! It takes a lot of courage to write about things so close to the heart. Really, nothing needs to change, but I do have two minor suggestions.
Strictly speaking, you should call the toy cars "Hot Wheels®", including the "registered trademark symbol", especially if you are considering publishing this. But it might be easier and more accurate to refer to them as "diecast cars" (or die cast, or die-cast, all seem to be accepted spellings), or simply "toy cars". I'll bet there are a few "Matchbox®" and other brand toys in that collection as well.
I sat the pencil holder aside so I could use it. -- I set the pencil holder aside so I could use it.
Thanks for sharing this. Keep writing!
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Thank you for reading and commenting as well as the six stars. I will edit and correct my errors as soon as I get brave enough to go back. I didn't edit after I wrote it because it was too painful. I think I can handle it today. I will think about the toy car issue and most likely change to die-cast. They are mostly Hot-Wheel cars, though. He loved to collect them. I doubt I will ever let them go unless it is to family.
Comment from ciliverde
I have a box like that, hidden away but it contains mementos from my first boyfriend who died young. It has to be so much harder for a parent...your story is beautifully told and very sad. Your grief comes through, raw and strong, but also your deep love for him. He knows!! Never doubt that.
((Hugs))
Carol
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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I have a box like that, hidden away but it contains mementos from my first boyfriend who died young. It has to be so much harder for a parent...your story is beautifully told and very sad. Your grief comes through, raw and strong, but also your deep love for him. He knows!! Never doubt that.
((Hugs))
Carol
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Thank you. I had the strangest feeling that Roy wanted me to write this story, so I did. Otherwise, I would not have been brave enough.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a wonderful entry! I think you just did send him a Valentine wish when you wrote this :). It is beautifully penned and truly a moving and inspiring read. I think finding that box and finally going through it provided the closure you needed and also allowed him to tell you from above that he is okay, happy, and still loves you very much. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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This is a wonderful entry! I think you just did send him a Valentine wish when you wrote this :). It is beautifully penned and truly a moving and inspiring read. I think finding that box and finally going through it provided the closure you needed and also allowed him to tell you from above that he is okay, happy, and still loves you very much. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2017
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Thank you, my friend. I wrote this story because I had the strangest feeling that Roy wanted me to. I also needed to vent the tremendous emotions I felt on reading the Valentine again after thirty years. Thanks for reading.
