Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "haiku suite (goldfish)"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
67 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Paul
I liked all of these, but I especially like the third one. I will vote for that one to be included in the Anthology book. Thanks for participating in the challenge
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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I liked all of these, but I especially like the third one. I will vote for that one to be included in the Anthology book. Thanks for participating in the challenge
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Oh, thank you, Douglas, for your review and vote. Would you believe I wrote over seventy draft lines over three days to settle upon the final nine? I am having a lot of fun writing these. Thank you for your generous, six star review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku suite, Goldfish, presents three images of the finned things that remind us that winter will pass and those delicacies of life,like tasty mosquitos, will return.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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This haiku suite, Goldfish, presents three images of the finned things that remind us that winter will pass and those delicacies of life,like tasty mosquitos, will return.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Yes, Bill, I was shocked when the church groundskeeper told me last Wednesday, "I never feed the goldfish. They eat algae and mosquito larvae." It is too cold right now for mosquitoes, so those thin goldfish have to eat algae for half a year while they dream of the return of tasty mosquitoes. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Rhonni
I love poems created by our observation of simple things...this is often how I write, when I keenly study or observe a particular subject. You used descriptive words and imagery here, nicely written
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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I love poems created by our observation of simple things...this is often how I write, when I keenly study or observe a particular subject. You used descriptive words and imagery here, nicely written
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Yes, Rhonni, I scrambled to find fish I can observe to write my haiku. When I recalled that my church has a goldfish pond in a courtyard, I asked the groundskeeper, "What's that tree that grows above it?"
"Japanese maple," he answered.
I ran outside the church in the cold and the dark and the rain to "keenly study or observe" that goldfish pond while everyone sat warm and dry inside. These haiku are the results of my "observation of simple things."
Thank you for your review.
Comment from winnona
Beautifully written haikus Each one could stand alone. The imagery of the fish comes across strongly. There is always peaceful tranquility when watches the aquatic life in a pond.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Beautifully written haikus Each one could stand alone. The imagery of the fish comes across strongly. There is always peaceful tranquility when watches the aquatic life in a pond.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Yes, winnona, "There is always peaceful tranquility when watches the aquatic life in a pond." Thank you for your review. I am glad my fish imagery came across strongly.
Comment from BeasPeas
All three of your haiku are full of imagery with striking illustration. The combination makes up a good trilogy of the koi pond, one of my favorite tranquil locations. The third haiku is my favorite. Marilyn
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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All three of your haiku are full of imagery with striking illustration. The combination makes up a good trilogy of the koi pond, one of my favorite tranquil locations. The third haiku is my favorite. Marilyn
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Yes, Marilyn, many are saying they favored the third haiku the most. I treasure your review. Thanks.
Comment from Thal1959
This has to be good, Sis Cat, since I don't care for goldfish or Haiku, but like this one. The final satori in the last Haiku is excellent. Very well done.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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This has to be good, Sis Cat, since I don't care for goldfish or Haiku, but like this one. The final satori in the last Haiku is excellent. Very well done.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Thal1959, for your review. I am glad my Haiku, especially the last, resonated with you.
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It was my pleasure.
Comment from Mark Valentine
The satoris here are very creative - I particularly liked "pickled autumn" - brilliant! The fact that these center on goldfish in a pond seems perfect also. The pond is meant to be observed and offers (literal) reflections - your suite feels like it's harvesting the potential of the scene.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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The satoris here are very creative - I particularly liked "pickled autumn" - brilliant! The fact that these center on goldfish in a pond seems perfect also. The pond is meant to be observed and offers (literal) reflections - your suite feels like it's harvesting the potential of the scene.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Yes, Mark, when the fish haiku challenge was announced last week, I scrambled to find fish to inspire me. I recalled that my church courtyard has a goldfish pond. I asked the groundskeeper the name of the tree that grew over the pond. He answered Japanese maple. I rushed outside in the cold and rain on a dark night to contemplate that goldfish pond and harvest the potential of the scene. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Lu Saluna
These are all so beautiful. They clearly all have the kigo of winter, great concrete imagery and wonderful satori.
I have to say, the third one is my favourite. In my mind this one is the most vivid for me. It is all sparkly and gives my imagination a jump start.
Really well done.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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These are all so beautiful. They clearly all have the kigo of winter, great concrete imagery and wonderful satori.
I have to say, the third one is my favourite. In my mind this one is the most vivid for me. It is all sparkly and gives my imagination a jump start.
Really well done.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Lu, for your review of my beautiful haiku. I went through dozens of drafts and threw out all haiku which did not contain a kigo for winter. When I asked my church historian the name of the courtyard tree above the goldfish pond, he replied, "Japanese maple." I knew I was in luck. I stood outside in the rain and meditated upon that goldfish pond while people sat warm and dry inside the church. I am glad my haiku gave your imagination a jump start.
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I love Japanese Maple, I have a Red Japanese Maple in my front yard. They are a glorious tree. Meditation is so soothing. I love it. Are you Buddhist?
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No, I am not a Buddhist. I am a poet who meditates on nature. That's a start.
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I was just curious. Many, many people meditate. It is very healing for the mind. Helps clear it of chaos and is very restful. Not a requirement to be Buddhist. You seem a very gentle soul. Some of the most gentle people I have met are Buddhist.
Comment from robyn corum
seen through cold drizzle
goldfish glint and glitter
sunken treasures
The above is my favorite haiku from this suite, Andre. I really liked it a LOT. It's how I feel every time I come up on a pond that has goldfish or koi - like I've found treasure! Great haiku! Thanks!
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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seen through cold drizzle
goldfish glint and glitter
sunken treasures
The above is my favorite haiku from this suite, Andre. I really liked it a LOT. It's how I feel every time I come up on a pond that has goldfish or koi - like I've found treasure! Great haiku! Thanks!
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Oh, thank you, Robyn, for your review. I am glad I saved the best haiku for last. I went through dozens of drafts and threw out all haiku which did not contain a kigo for winter. When I asked my church historian the name of the courtyard tree above the goldfish pond, he replied, "Japanese maple." I knew I was in luck. I stood outside in the rain and meditated upon that goldfish pond while people sat warm and dry inside the church. I am glad you liked my last haiku a lot. Thanks.
Comment from Dean Kuch
I enjoyed all of these haiku, Andre.
However,the one I enjoyed best of all was your second.
It indicates to me that the cold season is upon the goldfish, so they are forced to scavenge the bottom of the pond to forage for food. When warmer weather comes, there will be lots to eat because the mosquitoes will return once more and there will be plenty to eat.
Well done, great suite.
~Dean
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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I enjoyed all of these haiku, Andre.
However,the one I enjoyed best of all was your second.
It indicates to me that the cold season is upon the goldfish, so they are forced to scavenge the bottom of the pond to forage for food. When warmer weather comes, there will be lots to eat because the mosquitoes will return once more and there will be plenty to eat.
Well done, great suite.
~Dean
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2017
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Yes, Dean, I love the second haiku, too. When the church historian explained to me that he never feeds the goldfish in the courtyard pond because they eat algae and mosquito larva, I was astounded. It is too cold and early for mosquitoes right now. I can imagine these skinny goldfishes wishing for their return. Thank you for your review.
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Yep, you just gotta read between the lines and think about it a bit.
You're more than welcome, Andre.
~Dean
