Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Crow Cries "A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
17 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Paul
Beautiful artwork and overall presentation. Strong and clear imagery in the first two connecting lines. The satori is a bit of a stretch for me - I don't see clearly how is relates to the first 2 lines
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Beautiful artwork and overall presentation. Strong and clear imagery in the first two connecting lines. The satori is a bit of a stretch for me - I don't see clearly how is relates to the first 2 lines
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Wow! You are on a roll LOL thank you for reading so many of my haiku!
Gypsy Sensei hugs
Comment from Leineco
I love the inscrutable-ness of this ;-)
haiku meets hogwarts
sculpted message takes wing
snows melt on Fuji
ROFLMAO
Loved-loved-loved it! :-)
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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I love the inscrutable-ness of this ;-)
haiku meets hogwarts
sculpted message takes wing
snows melt on Fuji
ROFLMAO
Loved-loved-loved it! :-)
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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LOL wow! impromptu haiku ... that is a new one for me LOL it's an awesome haiku and it made me smile. Thank you!
Comment from sandy montgomery
I enjoyed your well written haiku. You really know this form and it shows. I always appreciate your notes. It's not always easy to review an unfamiliar form. Thank you for sharing your work.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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I enjoyed your well written haiku. You really know this form and it shows. I always appreciate your notes. It's not always easy to review an unfamiliar form. Thank you for sharing your work.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
Comment from Joan E.
What a mesmerizing artwork and presentation! Thank you for being such a dedicated teacher and appending more notes to enhance the reader's experience and understanding of the form. I enjoyed your use of alliteration, addition of sound and the juxtaposition betwee the "hair" and the "love letter". Well done! -Joan
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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What a mesmerizing artwork and presentation! Thank you for being such a dedicated teacher and appending more notes to enhance the reader's experience and understanding of the form. I enjoyed your use of alliteration, addition of sound and the juxtaposition betwee the "hair" and the "love letter". Well done! -Joan
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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Thanks for your Buddha blessings and the extra artwork- Joan
Comment from Grasshopper2
Hi Gypsy,
crow cries
over silky raven hair--
last love letter
Syllables 2 7 4 = 13. Lines 3. Words 9.
I am review blitzing to catch up and using my handy-dandy TEN GUIDELINES FOR REVIEWING A HAIKU.
01. How is the overall presentation? Outstanding.
02. Do the photo, font, and colors compliment the haiku? YES.
03. What is the syllable count? See above
Haiku syllable counter http://www.haikupoemsandpoets.com/haiku_syllable_counter.aspx
04. Are the total number of syllables within the limits of seventeen or less? YES.
05. Does the haiku show balance and adhere to the traditional format of short/long/short? YES.
06. Do the first two lines display a clear grammatical connection? YES
07. Do they reveal detailed imagery in the present tense? YES.
08. Is the haiku a current observation of a moment in time captured in nature? YES.
09. Are the words good choices with word economy? YES.
10. Is the satori a brief summarization of lines one and two? YES.
If all the above are yes, then this is, in my humble opinion, an exceptionally well-written haiku. Well done again.
Talk with you tonight.
Grasshopper
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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Hi Gypsy,
crow cries
over silky raven hair--
last love letter
Syllables 2 7 4 = 13. Lines 3. Words 9.
I am review blitzing to catch up and using my handy-dandy TEN GUIDELINES FOR REVIEWING A HAIKU.
01. How is the overall presentation? Outstanding.
02. Do the photo, font, and colors compliment the haiku? YES.
03. What is the syllable count? See above
Haiku syllable counter http://www.haikupoemsandpoets.com/haiku_syllable_counter.aspx
04. Are the total number of syllables within the limits of seventeen or less? YES.
05. Does the haiku show balance and adhere to the traditional format of short/long/short? YES.
06. Do the first two lines display a clear grammatical connection? YES
07. Do they reveal detailed imagery in the present tense? YES.
08. Is the haiku a current observation of a moment in time captured in nature? YES.
09. Are the words good choices with word economy? YES.
10. Is the satori a brief summarization of lines one and two? YES.
If all the above are yes, then this is, in my humble opinion, an exceptionally well-written haiku. Well done again.
Talk with you tonight.
Grasshopper
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
Comment from krys123
La paz sea contigo, MariVal;
-what captured me the most of this haiku was the picture and how delicately and in a weird way sufficiently serene and help balance the color arrangement was between the Crow and the geisha. That totally set the mood for this haiku. What I caught the most of it was the Crow is cawing while the geisha is serene and silent which to me was an excellent juxtaposition of opposition.
-It's like the geisha has an inner emotional feeling and the Crow is this inner feeling calling out probably from her inner desires and feelings about love and a relationship, maybe.
-This haiku's first two lines definitely describe the nature of this case a situation and feelings. Both lines are dramatically connected both in grammar and in contextual understanding.
-The satori first looks like an indirect summarization of the contextual theme but when looked at again, carefully, one can see that the Crow is the feelings of this letter that she has written which is the outer feelings of her inner desires.
-Thanks for a very well entertaining haiku, Gypsy, as I truly enjoyed this one immensely.
Alex
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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La paz sea contigo, MariVal;
-what captured me the most of this haiku was the picture and how delicately and in a weird way sufficiently serene and help balance the color arrangement was between the Crow and the geisha. That totally set the mood for this haiku. What I caught the most of it was the Crow is cawing while the geisha is serene and silent which to me was an excellent juxtaposition of opposition.
-It's like the geisha has an inner emotional feeling and the Crow is this inner feeling calling out probably from her inner desires and feelings about love and a relationship, maybe.
-This haiku's first two lines definitely describe the nature of this case a situation and feelings. Both lines are dramatically connected both in grammar and in contextual understanding.
-The satori first looks like an indirect summarization of the contextual theme but when looked at again, carefully, one can see that the Crow is the feelings of this letter that she has written which is the outer feelings of her inner desires.
-Thanks for a very well entertaining haiku, Gypsy, as I truly enjoyed this one immensely.
Alex
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
Comment from LIJ Red
Haiku is too small a basket to keep all my eggs in, and has been dissected and
modified until it's not a simple matter of kigo/satori/present tense snapshot of nature anymore. This one looks fine to me.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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Haiku is too small a basket to keep all my eggs in, and has been dissected and
modified until it's not a simple matter of kigo/satori/present tense snapshot of nature anymore. This one looks fine to me.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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thank you
Comment from MizKat
Hi Gypsy,
This poem is very well written again.
You are always so good at writing them.
I think the picture goes very well with it also.
Kat
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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Hi Gypsy,
This poem is very well written again.
You are always so good at writing them.
I think the picture goes very well with it also.
Kat
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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thank you
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You're very welcome, Gypsy. Kat
Comment from Lu Saluna
I read this last night but I had to give more thought to my review.
You changed it from yesterday.
My heart is telling me this lovely lady has had her heart broken and the letter she is reading is the last she will ever see. The presentation is stunning! Am all out of badger 9's
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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I read this last night but I had to give more thought to my review.
You changed it from yesterday.
My heart is telling me this lovely lady has had her heart broken and the letter she is reading is the last she will ever see. The presentation is stunning! Am all out of badger 9's
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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LoL luv ya
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Umm, did I miss by a mile??
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what?
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I was was wondering what made you laugh, just curious :-))
Comment from winnona
Beautifully done.The poem is very well written and the artwork and background color completed the piece well. All your added information helped a lot with learning about Japanese culture.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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Beautifully done.The poem is very well written and the artwork and background color completed the piece well. All your added information helped a lot with learning about Japanese culture.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
