Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 " Haiku: No Strings"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
27 total reviews
Comment from Janet Foor
What a lovely haiku Christine. I loved seeing the picture of Australian Square tailed kite as well. I think I told you my grandson just moved the Coomera in Queensland to play soccer there. He loves it there but we miss him here.
Very nicely done..
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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What a lovely haiku Christine. I loved seeing the picture of Australian Square tailed kite as well. I think I told you my grandson just moved the Coomera in Queensland to play soccer there. He loves it there but we miss him here.
Very nicely done..
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Hi Janet, Thanks for your lovely review for my Haiku. Yes they are a majestic bird and we have lots of blue skies. I am sure your grandson will love Australia and QLD and yes you did tell me he was playing soccer What is the name of his team. I will see if I can research how they are going. We will look after him Cheers for a lovely day Janet Christine😃🌞
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He plays for the Coomera Colts. They are in preseason right now. I think the regular season starts in March. He texted me last night that they tied their 2nd preseason game. He loves his teammates and the family he's living with in Coomera. Thanks so much for asking about him. He's 22 and a fine young man but this is still a long way to be from home. (says the Grandma who misses him)
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Hi Janet I am sure he misses you too but what and opportunity for him.
Comment from estory
This is one of the better pieces posted today on the site, so i'm giving it five stars. it is nicely in the form, so you have that balance and rhythm, and you have that great nature image so essential to traditional Japanese haiku. I think the first line is great and the third line are great; you have that great image of the bird flying, free, unattached, moving beyond us. I think that is an image that is hard to improve on. but the second line doesn't contribute to this sense, it is merely an image of the bird against the sky. it is maybe a small point to quibble about, but I think if you push yourself a little harder, you can come up with a better image and write a truly great poem. If I review a piece here, it is because I saw something in your writing, some talent and effort and craft. I assume that you joined the site to push and improve, so I try to be intelligent in my reviews and say something more meaningful to someone other than" here's five stars it was a great poem." estory
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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This is one of the better pieces posted today on the site, so i'm giving it five stars. it is nicely in the form, so you have that balance and rhythm, and you have that great nature image so essential to traditional Japanese haiku. I think the first line is great and the third line are great; you have that great image of the bird flying, free, unattached, moving beyond us. I think that is an image that is hard to improve on. but the second line doesn't contribute to this sense, it is merely an image of the bird against the sky. it is maybe a small point to quibble about, but I think if you push yourself a little harder, you can come up with a better image and write a truly great poem. If I review a piece here, it is because I saw something in your writing, some talent and effort and craft. I assume that you joined the site to push and improve, so I try to be intelligent in my reviews and say something more meaningful to someone other than" here's five stars it was a great poem." estory
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Hi estory, Thanks your for reading and reviewing my Haiku. I appreciate your comments and yes I am here to learn and expand my prowess on all types of poetry. Haiku is a spontaneous write and this is what I saw when I saw an eagle one day circling in the blue sky hence my composition. So I suppose at times ones thoughts doesn't always match anothers and that is what makes us all individual writers. I didn't even know what a Haiku was until I joined this site so I hope I have picked up some knowledge along my FS journey. It is always great to have others input and I will kepp your words in mind for the next one. Cheers Christine😃
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good image and presentation.
-Good use of concrete imagery and nature reference, Chrissy.
-Your words create a word picture.
-Very good satori.
-I have taken a break from FS since the holidays and hope to be back posting in the near future.
-Have a good 2017.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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-Good image and presentation.
-Good use of concrete imagery and nature reference, Chrissy.
-Your words create a word picture.
-Very good satori.
-I have taken a break from FS since the holidays and hope to be back posting in the near future.
-Have a good 2017.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Hi Pam, Thanks for your great review for my Haiku. I am having lessons with Gypsy and a great group on Haiku so expanding my education LOL I am enjoying the class . Dont stay away too long but have a great break and I will keep a look out for your on return. Cheers Pam Christine😃
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You are very welcome for the review. Glad you like the class. Thanks for your nice reply.
Comment from tfawcus
This one seems to tick all the boxes. A box kite perhaps (groan!). You have a nice connection here between the freedom of the bird and the tethered fluttering of the kite at the end of the string.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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This one seems to tick all the boxes. A box kite perhaps (groan!). You have a nice connection here between the freedom of the bird and the tethered fluttering of the kite at the end of the string.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Hi Tony , Thanks for your review for mu Haiku, Ye a box kite LOL remember them we used to make them with wooden rods and brown papaer. i am glad you picked up my meaning of freedom. I did see an eagle (kite) one day circling aroing the blue sky and this is what came to mind Cheers Christine😃
Comment from Nika2016
A very nice post for the challenge...one of my favorites...
A kite without strings..
It meets the requirements of the haiku with a surprise twist at the end..
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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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A very nice post for the challenge...one of my favorites...
A kite without strings..
It meets the requirements of the haiku with a surprise twist at the end..
.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Hi Nika2016 Thanks for reading my Haiku and for saying it was ome of your fsvourites that means a lot to me. I enjoyed writng this and still learning Cheers Christine😃
Comment from Leineco
:-)
I read recently something about haiku should create a realization emotionally, not intellectually. . .
although I "get" the "real world" realization that birds soaring on the wind are like kites without strings. . .what really works here is the concept of the freedom of "no strings attached" . . .your haiku made me think about that longing man has always had (since all the way back when Icarus flew too close to the sun).
Nicely done :-)
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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:-)
I read recently something about haiku should create a realization emotionally, not intellectually. . .
although I "get" the "real world" realization that birds soaring on the wind are like kites without strings. . .what really works here is the concept of the freedom of "no strings attached" . . .your haiku made me think about that longing man has always had (since all the way back when Icarus flew too close to the sun).
Nicely done :-)
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Hi Leineco Yes you are so right that is exactly what I wanted the readers to see. It has a double meaning but you are spot on Thanks for your review and insight Cheers Christine😃
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku. The Square-tailed kite soars high in the air, with no strings, attached it silhouettes the blue sky. An excellent photograph to compliment your poem.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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A very well-written haiku. The Square-tailed kite soars high in the air, with no strings, attached it silhouettes the blue sky. An excellent photograph to compliment your poem.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2017
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Hi Sandra I am glad you thought it very well written .My Lessons mist be rubbing off I am beginning to see the complexity of writing Haiku and try to find a simple bit effective 3 lines Cheers my friend for your lovely support Christine😃
Comment from MelB
Hi Christine, this is a fantastic Haiku poem. Great description and imagery. I love the twist on the last line. Beautiful artwork!
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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Hi Christine, this is a fantastic Haiku poem. Great description and imagery. I love the twist on the last line. Beautiful artwork!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2017
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Thanks MelB, Glad you like this and the twist at the end. As it is a picture of a Kite (BIrd in Australia) I thought it may be a good Satori. Thanks for reading and Cheers to you Christine
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You're welcome.
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, No Strings, uses sixteen syllables to remind us that the kite is a bird and that freedom cannot be judged, limited, or minimized. Wish I was a bird too.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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This haiku, No Strings, uses sixteen syllables to remind us that the kite is a bird and that freedom cannot be judged, limited, or minimized. Wish I was a bird too.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Hi Bill. Thanks for swooping in to read my haiku and wouldn't it be great being a bird. The birds around my place are spoiled I feed them all the native birds love out bird feeder in out garden and I then feed the Magpies in the front so being a bird is a rewarding exercise at my address LOL Cheers Bill Christine
Comment from William Ross
This is a good haiku as the eagle glides with the uplift of the air nicely done on the challenge. Thanks for the share and have a great day
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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This is a good haiku as the eagle glides with the uplift of the air nicely done on the challenge. Thanks for the share and have a great day
Comment Written 12-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2017
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Hi William, Thanks for flying past to read my haiku. Always appreciate you reviews Cheers Christine
