Clouds of arrows, floods of gore
potlatch abstraction 110 words21 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written abstract poem. A storm in the world politics will soon explode like a thunderstorm. Those who serve a false god will strike all the innocent with lightning.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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A very well-written abstract poem. A storm in the world politics will soon explode like a thunderstorm. Those who serve a false god will strike all the innocent with lightning.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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Thanks very much for reading and reviewing. I don't know how abstract this is, but it is what I was thinking.
Comment from Realist101
Hi Red! Yes! Love this one! Perfect flow and rhyme! A joy to read...and with great profound meaning too. Sadly, so true. This is one for your book! :) Sure
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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Hi Red! Yes! Love this one! Perfect flow and rhyme! A joy to read...and with great profound meaning too. Sadly, so true. This is one for your book! :) Sure
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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I don't know how much of an abstract poem it is, but I got out some words I wanted to say. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing, and most especially for that sixth star.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
You did a great job with this poem. Your well-chosen words are striking and thought-provoking. The poem is raw and shocking as it should be.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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You did a great job with this poem. Your well-chosen words are striking and thought-provoking. The poem is raw and shocking as it should be.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
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I am not sure of the borders of abstraction, but wars and storms have a lot in common...thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
LIJ,
You did a great job with your abstract poem. I really like the comparison of a real storm to that of war. Your title says it all. War is horrendous. Good job on the rhyming verses. Your lines flow smoothly, too.
Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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LIJ,
You did a great job with your abstract poem. I really like the comparison of a real storm to that of war. Your title says it all. War is horrendous. Good job on the rhyming verses. Your lines flow smoothly, too.
Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Storms and wars are too real, yet calling one by the other's name is abstract? I wonder, but I do know I fear them both.
Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
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I believe your poem is abstract. The word storm is concrete, but your descriptions etc. are abstract as required. Jan
Comment from flylikeaneagle
I like your line with run and hide and watch and plan. The gods of war
cause hate, greed and despair as they conquer lands. Look at the ones
in Syria who left all to run into strange lands without food. War destroys.
Well written. Happy New Year! flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I like your line with run and hide and watch and plan. The gods of war
cause hate, greed and despair as they conquer lands. Look at the ones
in Syria who left all to run into strange lands without food. War destroys.
Well written. Happy New Year! flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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War is humanity's worst bad habit, and that is saying a lot. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from mvbrooks
Well done. The words are crisp and spot-on. War helicopters called "pagan gods through clouds" and the helplessness of a "storm without rain" and thereby nothing to wash away the bloodshed. The poem is harsh--and reasonably so because it's message is so important.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Well done. The words are crisp and spot-on. War helicopters called "pagan gods through clouds" and the helplessness of a "storm without rain" and thereby nothing to wash away the bloodshed. The poem is harsh--and reasonably so because it's message is so important.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Wars are such a waste of guys like me. Religious types who push Holy Wars should have to fight them. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from winnona
Your words flowed easily combining to form a unique rythmn of their own. They continued to flow and combined forming the message of the poem for the reader, Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Your words flowed easily combining to form a unique rythmn of their own. They continued to flow and combined forming the message of the poem for the reader, Well done.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I am still in the learning stage, but I hope to be able to express myself in iambs and trochees and anapests as natural as speaking. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from damommy
It's interesting to see the different takes we've all taken on this prompt.
My favorite line - "The ebb and flow of human pain is like a storm without the rain." Sometimes, that is so true of life.
Outstanding!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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It's interesting to see the different takes we've all taken on this prompt.
My favorite line - "The ebb and flow of human pain is like a storm without the rain." Sometimes, that is so true of life.
Outstanding!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Since a storm in itself is anything but an abstract, I thought of the many things storms might stand for and war popped up.
The link to the ancients gods being warriors who rode the storms was a natural. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
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It was a fantastic poem.
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent post, Ellijay. There are most troubling times we are living in. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a swarm of helicopters chop overhead.
Sadly religion is held up as an icon of self-righteousness and we forget to question our own fallibility.
Great job and a powerful write.
Gloria
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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Excellent post, Ellijay. There are most troubling times we are living in. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have a swarm of helicopters chop overhead.
Sadly religion is held up as an icon of self-righteousness and we forget to question our own fallibility.
Great job and a powerful write.
Gloria
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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So many of the early gods were riders on the storm and great warriors, using a storm as an abstract symbol of war seemed logical. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Hayley Solomon
Outstanding.
I applaud you in every way: great sentiment, substantive and extremely well executed. Meter is good, rhyme unforced, this is the type of poem worthy of the title poem.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Outstanding.
I applaud you in every way: great sentiment, substantive and extremely well executed. Meter is good, rhyme unforced, this is the type of poem worthy of the title poem.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I missed the peace marches back in the sixties, I was marching in dress blues...now I am catching up. Thor and Zeus and El
were all warriors who rode the storms, so calling a war a storm is valid comparison...thank you very much for reading and reviewing, That exceptional rating really makes my day.
