A Future Lost.
Two lives wasted. Fiction.36 total reviews
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a beautiful entry for the contest. It is a moving story that leaves the reader close to tears. Perhaps, although they loved each other fate stepped in to move them in the direction they were intended for rather than wished for. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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This is a beautiful entry for the contest. It is a moving story that leaves the reader close to tears. Perhaps, although they loved each other fate stepped in to move them in the direction they were intended for rather than wished for. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you Mystic Angel 7777, for your kind review and good wishes. I'm so pleased you were moved by it...
Comment from Heidi M
What a sad tale for Molly and Bill. And to think she held onto the letter and picture for all those years.
Closing quotes needed after: This belongs with the picture." Molly sniffed
You did a good job creating the story to address this prompt.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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What a sad tale for Molly and Bill. And to think she held onto the letter and picture for all those years.
Closing quotes needed after: This belongs with the picture." Molly sniffed
You did a good job creating the story to address this prompt.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you Heidi M, for your kind review and help...
Comment from Bill Schott
This story about last words, A Future Lost, was nicely written bring me along to this sad end. I normally don't read romantic stories, but this had enough intrigue in it to get me into the tale.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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This story about last words, A Future Lost, was nicely written bring me along to this sad end. I normally don't read romantic stories, but this had enough intrigue in it to get me into the tale.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you for your kind review. I'm so pleased that you found it nicely written...
Comment from RodG
"There are some things we don't get over, they remain with us."
This key sentence states the THEME of this bitter-sweet story. I like how you set the scene AFTER Jenny has found the photograph. Mum's tears 55 years later would be believable. Good backstory as we learn about Bill and their dream of emigrating to New Zealand together. The only implausibility of the story was how the letter got lost behind the mantel, but an updraft . . . Anyway it was found too late to allow Mum to catch up to the boy she thought had jilted her.
Overall, quite poignant and believable.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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"There are some things we don't get over, they remain with us."
This key sentence states the THEME of this bitter-sweet story. I like how you set the scene AFTER Jenny has found the photograph. Mum's tears 55 years later would be believable. Good backstory as we learn about Bill and their dream of emigrating to New Zealand together. The only implausibility of the story was how the letter got lost behind the mantel, but an updraft . . . Anyway it was found too late to allow Mum to catch up to the boy she thought had jilted her.
Overall, quite poignant and believable.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you RodG, for your take on my story. I will work on how the letter ended down the back of the mantle shelf and I thank you for that. This is a great review and much appreciated...
Comment from royowen
Beautifully written, a very sad and poignant work here, the sadness leaches out of every syllable, some were meant to be and other things just aren't, this is one of those. I think you've written this very well. Good characters, great plot, no detected slags, and a darn good entry, well done good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Beautifully written, a very sad and poignant work here, the sadness leaches out of every syllable, some were meant to be and other things just aren't, this is one of those. I think you've written this very well. Good characters, great plot, no detected slags, and a darn good entry, well done good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you Roy, for your kind review and good wishes. I'm so pleased you found this to be well written, a much appreciated review...
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Most welcome
Comment from winnona
A well-written contest entry. After all those years finding out what could have been. That makes it worse than not knowing all those years. The piece is very realistic and the words flowed easily line to line
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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A well-written contest entry. After all those years finding out what could have been. That makes it worse than not knowing all those years. The piece is very realistic and the words flowed easily line to line
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you winnona, for your kind review. I'm so pleased you found this to be well written...
