Jerry Jing-Jang and the Bears
another JJJ adventure52 total reviews
Comment from TPAC
Creative and touching write, with wonderful word structuring to the reader appealing, story was lovely. Work cut to the beef will make it more special. All of course in my view pf this work.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Creative and touching write, with wonderful word structuring to the reader appealing, story was lovely. Work cut to the beef will make it more special. All of course in my view pf this work.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thanks. JJJ is a lot of fun. Glad you liked it. If you're interested, he has other adventures in my portfolio.
Comment from robina1978
An excellent photo with a bear. You really told a story in your poem as required. In the first stanza do you not mean startle instead of start. Rhymes all the way. Best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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An excellent photo with a bear. You really told a story in your poem as required. In the first stanza do you not mean startle instead of start. Rhymes all the way. Best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thanks. You're the first one to mantion that. I'll take another look at that stanza.
Comment from nancyrabbrose
You have written an excellent story in the form of poem. It sounds authentic as to language and other images of the scene. I like the surprise part and the philosophy. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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You have written an excellent story in the form of poem. It sounds authentic as to language and other images of the scene. I like the surprise part and the philosophy. Well done.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thanks. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. JJJ is a lot of fun.
Comment from Pantygynt
There is certainly a story in this poem. The cowboy has a heart of gold and a predeliction for wild life conservation probably unusual in his kind. The query i woulkd raise is whether rhyming couplets are the best vehicle for a story of some length. There is a rhyme scheme, abcb that is actually known as "story" rhyme that is ideal for stories of some length as its name suggests. The couplets tend to drag somewhat after a few stanzas.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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There is certainly a story in this poem. The cowboy has a heart of gold and a predeliction for wild life conservation probably unusual in his kind. The query i woulkd raise is whether rhyming couplets are the best vehicle for a story of some length. There is a rhyme scheme, abcb that is actually known as "story" rhyme that is ideal for stories of some length as its name suggests. The couplets tend to drag somewhat after a few stanzas.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thanks. This contest asks for aabb, tho you're probably right. Yes, JJJ is an unusual cowboy. I try to keep his adventures adventures suitable for kids. Glad you liked the story.
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Sorry I didn't realise rhyming couplets were stipulated.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements splendidly. You tell a delightful story with consistent meter and seamless rhyme. It is truly an enjoyable read. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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This meets the contest requirements splendidly. You tell a delightful story with consistent meter and seamless rhyme. It is truly an enjoyable read. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I'm so glad you enjoyed. Thanks for the wouderful review and the good wishes for the contest.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written story/poem. There are many ways to get a decent meal in the wild without killing precious animals that are necessary for survival.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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A very well-written story/poem. There are many ways to get a decent meal in the wild without killing precious animals that are necessary for survival.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Yep, JJJ is one of the good guys and he's pretty resourceful. Glad you liked it. Thanks for this great review.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Cindy - This is a good, amusing and also a gentle story in a poem. I like the way it is written - it paints a picture with the cowboy type of language. A well told piece with both rhyme and rhythm maintained throughout. Very well done to do this with a pretty long poem. I hope you do well in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Hi Cindy - This is a good, amusing and also a gentle story in a poem. I like the way it is written - it paints a picture with the cowboy type of language. A well told piece with both rhyme and rhythm maintained throughout. Very well done to do this with a pretty long poem. I hope you do well in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thanks. He's a fun character to write. Glad you enjoyed.
Comment from mbroyles2
I enjoyed reading this story made into a poem.
It was lively and well thought out.
The rhymes were great and moved the story along wonderfully.
I'm glad he didn't shoot the bears.
Really nice job!
Michael
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I enjoyed reading this story made into a poem.
It was lively and well thought out.
The rhymes were great and moved the story along wonderfully.
I'm glad he didn't shoot the bears.
Really nice job!
Michael
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I couldn't let him shoot the bears. My grandkids would have a fit! JJJ is the good guy. Glad you enjoyed my little story poem. Thanks for the wonderful review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
"You're gonna learn what a bellyache means
'Cause you even ate up the coffee beans
You're lucky my belly don't care for bear
Or you might be steaks, medium rare." ... Oh, no! Poor little cub. We both know what's gonna happen when those coffee beans start to go through his digestive system don't we, Cindy? Well... I can yell you this much.
It ain't gonna be pretty, heh-heh.
"But there ain't no law against runnin' from a bear or two
Whatever he was plannin' he didn't do.
Meetin' them bears was a lucky break
Guess I won't be turning 'em into steak
They ate up the grub but I ain't beat
A cowboy can always find something to eat. ... Of course you won't be turnin' into steaks, cowpoke. Ya just said awhile back that yer belly don't care fer bear. So why on earth would 'ya even be toyin' with the notion?
Great poem, Cindy, with a funny tail...e-r-r-r, heh-heh TALE to tell.
Ahem...
~Dean ;)
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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"You're gonna learn what a bellyache means
'Cause you even ate up the coffee beans
You're lucky my belly don't care for bear
Or you might be steaks, medium rare." ... Oh, no! Poor little cub. We both know what's gonna happen when those coffee beans start to go through his digestive system don't we, Cindy? Well... I can yell you this much.
It ain't gonna be pretty, heh-heh.
"But there ain't no law against runnin' from a bear or two
Whatever he was plannin' he didn't do.
Meetin' them bears was a lucky break
Guess I won't be turning 'em into steak
They ate up the grub but I ain't beat
A cowboy can always find something to eat. ... Of course you won't be turnin' into steaks, cowpoke. Ya just said awhile back that yer belly don't care fer bear. So why on earth would 'ya even be toyin' with the notion?
Great poem, Cindy, with a funny tail...e-r-r-r, heh-heh TALE to tell.
Ahem...
~Dean ;)
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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His belly don't care for bear, but they ate up everything else. He might be stuck with bear steaks. Naw. JJJ is mainly for the kids. Can't make it bloody. Glad you liked my little tail...er, tale. Thanks for a very funny review.
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Sure thing, my pleasure. :)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a lovely story in a poem, it was fun too. I could imagine the cub coming and stealing all the food and climbing the tree to eat it. I think I would have moved on too. Love the perfect picture too. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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What a lovely story in a poem, it was fun too. I could imagine the cub coming and stealing all the food and climbing the tree to eat it. I think I would have moved on too. Love the perfect picture too. Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Yep, bears will do that. He'd stowed the food out of reach of adult bears and coyotes, but that didn't stop the little guy. Thanks for the wonderful review and the good wishes for the contest.
