Little Bird Told Me (6)
Tyburn10 total reviews
Comment from Poetic Friend
Susan,
I can see why this poem placed in the contest. It was just a delight to read it. I love the alliteration and rhymes. The poem was so well written that I heard all the chatter and the patter.
I have a cat, and I can always tell when a bird is nearby because I hear the cat's clatter (as your poem creatively describes).
Great job with this poem.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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Susan,
I can see why this poem placed in the contest. It was just a delight to read it. I love the alliteration and rhymes. The poem was so well written that I heard all the chatter and the patter.
I have a cat, and I can always tell when a bird is nearby because I hear the cat's clatter (as your poem creatively describes).
Great job with this poem.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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Aw thank you so much!!! I really do appreciate it
Comment from Richard J
Very cute, Susan, with a lovely, fetching presentation.
The assonance is truly catchy and inventive, the form perfectly selected and composed, and the imagery virtually makes the spirit dance.
Your skills continue to amaze ... a huge thank you for the sweet treat of this one! ~ Richard : )
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
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Very cute, Susan, with a lovely, fetching presentation.
The assonance is truly catchy and inventive, the form perfectly selected and composed, and the imagery virtually makes the spirit dance.
Your skills continue to amaze ... a huge thank you for the sweet treat of this one! ~ Richard : )
Comment Written 14-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
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well now! look at me!! I did a fetching presentation!!!. DANG!!! :-P
Comment from angel123
Your nature poem is well-written with good descriptive words. It flows and rhymes well and good subject and artwork choice.
angle123
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2017
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Your nature poem is well-written with good descriptive words. It flows and rhymes well and good subject and artwork choice.
angle123
Comment Written 08-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2017
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Thank you kindly!!! :-))
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
this is a cute contest entry for the tyburn.
It gives a picture in the mind of what is going on without the use of a picture. I don't know if you will have to change it or possibly be disqualified as the first four are supposed to be the 5th through the 8th. and your first line is the 4th through the 7th.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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this is a cute contest entry for the tyburn.
It gives a picture in the mind of what is going on without the use of a picture. I don't know if you will have to change it or possibly be disqualified as the first four are supposed to be the 5th through the 8th. and your first line is the 4th through the 7th.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Awe thank you kindly!!! I do appreciate you reading and the review!!!
Comment from WalkerMan
Your current version of this definitely fits the required Tyburn form, and the poem itself is fun to read. The crowd of birds in the bath is amusing and most appropriate too for your theme. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Your current version of this definitely fits the required Tyburn form, and the poem itself is fun to read. The crowd of birds in the bath is amusing and most appropriate too for your theme. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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had to rework this little ditty...ughhhhhh I'll still with the love poems..:-) thanks Mike
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Do what you need to for the contest. I can wait. I'm busy with your earlier ones anyway (formatting for the book). Take your time....
Comment from DR DIP
hehe the the old cat catches the birds unaware then they take to flight just in time Chapter 6 nearly sees their demise. engrossed in their fun they are not aware of the ensuing danger...well that's how I see it anyway! lol
dip
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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hehe the the old cat catches the birds unaware then they take to flight just in time Chapter 6 nearly sees their demise. engrossed in their fun they are not aware of the ensuing danger...well that's how I see it anyway! lol
dip
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Dipster!!! Thank you and a hug!
Comment from Quantum Traveler
I Love the Finale of "Little Bird Told Me".
The Image is Perfect for the Writing giving it a Certain Humorous Conclusion of the Comings and Goings of One's Internal Workings in Life.
The Finale Pulled it All Together with a Humorous Conclusion.
Nicely Done Susan...Quantum Traveler...Phil.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I Love the Finale of "Little Bird Told Me".
The Image is Perfect for the Writing giving it a Certain Humorous Conclusion of the Comings and Goings of One's Internal Workings in Life.
The Finale Pulled it All Together with a Humorous Conclusion.
Nicely Done Susan...Quantum Traveler...Phil.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Hi Phil! 6 stars WOW thank you so much!!!!
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I could just imagine all the chatter going on in that water fountain...Funny...Q.T.
Comment from hummingbirdhill
Congratulations on your deciphering of the Tyburn code, and writing a charming, lilting poem in the process! This formula is way beyond me. I enjoyed a chuckle as I pictured the scene you so uniquely described. Good job! Hummingbirdhill
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Congratulations on your deciphering of the Tyburn code, and writing a charming, lilting poem in the process! This formula is way beyond me. I enjoyed a chuckle as I pictured the scene you so uniquely described. Good job! Hummingbirdhill
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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LOL I needed to change it up...apparently the formula is beyond me also!!...OH well! had to try...thank you for such a great review and 6 stars!!!
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Susan, I'm out of sixes, so I'm giving a virtual six. This is an excellent Tyburn poem to complete your six poem challenge. Your excellent choice of words which rhyme, younhave brought together into a complete challenge poem. I wish you much luck in this contest my friend,,,,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Susan, I'm out of sixes, so I'm giving a virtual six. This is an excellent Tyburn poem to complete your six poem challenge. Your excellent choice of words which rhyme, younhave brought together into a complete challenge poem. I wish you much luck in this contest my friend,,,,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thanks JImmy!!
Comment from William Ross
I like the idea on this but is not done just right by the rules of a tyburn, the rhyming words should fit in the 5th through 8th syllable count on the last two lines, yours are not. Will be glad to review if corrected to fit the tyburn specs. have a great day
Move foul in front of clatter and its true to form
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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I like the idea on this but is not done just right by the rules of a tyburn, the rhyming words should fit in the 5th through 8th syllable count on the last two lines, yours are not. Will be glad to review if corrected to fit the tyburn specs. have a great day
Move foul in front of clatter and its true to form
Comment Written 06-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
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ok..let me study up on the form...I thought i had it right.
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changed it..but confused by what you are saying,..google says,
2
2
2
2
9..with 1st and 2nd line
9...with 3rd and 4th line
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I went and looked, still not right, the two rhyming words on the last two lines can not end or begin the line. they should one after the other in the 5th,6th,7th and 8th syllable count, one word 5th and 6th the next rhyme 7th and 8th, in the 9 syllable run. i hope this helps.
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Thank you! If it's not correct..LOL I give up!
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Put foul in front of clatter and it will be in good form, Ill review to the 5
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okey dokey hokey pokey! :-)
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and thank you for taking the time to help me out!!! I was lost...thank goodness I/you found a way! :-p
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anytime have a wonderful day
