Reviews from

Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author

Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Air Conditioner"
A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets

16 total reviews 
Comment from DR DIP
Excellent
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Ah the old pedestal fans I have had those before and when I was at school they took pride of place in the front of the classroom before the advent of air conditioning.

good write

dip

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
    Thank you, Dr Dipp. :)

    Gypsy
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The objective correlative of the poem reminisces the rising cost of airconditioners used for evacuating hot air occasioned by rising heat wave.

The work highlights a hegemony of cool air generation strategies over hot air and the resultant rise in cost of airconditioners.

Simple but outstanding human haiku! Keep the flag flying!

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
    Thank you very much for the lovely review and kind words. I am happy to see you 'round these parts. Thank you for the six stars.

    Gypsy Hugs
reply by Lloyd T. Okoko on 02-Jan-2017
    Happy New Year!
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
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Please add my name to the list. What time is the meeting and how do I access it? I have lots of questions--could you send me your club info? I like your haiku, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
    Yes, I will send you a PM with all the info you need. I added you to our list of members. The meeting is Tuesday at 5 pm PST and 8 pm EST Thank you,

    Gypsy
Comment from Leineco
Excellent
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Great satori line Gypsy :-)

I love that the juxtaposition -the cost of rising (above the
humity) is a.c - versus - the cost of a.c. (on one's power) bill
rises when trying to beat the humidity)
- is all contained
within the satori rather than satori being the "thing" that
highlights a juxtaposition.

Really nicely done!!!!! :-)



 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
    Thank you very much for the lovely review and kind words. I am always happy to see you 'round these parts.

    Gypsy Hugs
Comment from GracieAnn
Excellent
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Gypsy,
This is a thought provoking piece that addresses some difficult challenges. The syllable count of 17 is here, but I wonder about the title? Shouldn't it be haiku (cool air on hot days)...unless the club suspends that requirement? Nice work. :0 GracieAnn

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 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
    Hello, Gracie Ann, Haiku do not need a title. I use one because we need it to post. if you read the classics like Matsue Basho, you will see haiku have no titles. The thing about the first line plus the word haiku is a western thing. Well, the only place I have seen it is here in fanstory.

    Thank you very much for the lovely review and kind words. I am happy to see you 'round these parts.

    Gypsy Hugs
Comment from winnona
Excellent
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A well-written challenge. The artwork and sound effects completed the piece very well. This will be an interesting challenge to work on this week. well done.

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 Comment Written 02-Jan-2017


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2017
    Thank you very much for the lovely review and kind words. I am always happy to see you 'round these parts.

    Gypsy Hugs