Haiku Club Challenge Multi-Author
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Air Conditioner"A collection of haiku written by FanStory Poets
16 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
HI Gypsy, I love this...I know what it is to be without air conditioner on a hot day...been there...so very well written sweet girl...and I love your picture...love ya Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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HI Gypsy, I love this...I know what it is to be without air conditioner on a hot day...been there...so very well written sweet girl...and I love your picture...love ya Linda xxoo
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Hello, how are you doing, sweetie pie? Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, you are always so kind to me ... I am grateful. Hugs!
Gypsy
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Hi girl, I am doing fine...just trying to catch up...thank you so much my friend...and you are so welcome...xxoo love
Comment from Douglas Paul
I like you take on this weeks challenge. It has a great emphasis on humanity. That picture is really cute LOL. Good connecting first two lines and a strong satori
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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I like you take on this weeks challenge. It has a great emphasis on humanity. That picture is really cute LOL. Good connecting first two lines and a strong satori
Comment Written 07-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
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Thank you, Douglas :)
Gypsy Sensei
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Gypsy, l really like this haiku. I have lived in Las Vegas where the summers can be brutal with the heat. Electric bills can get unbelievable just as your poem reflects. First two lines of what and where cool air is and then your satori tells us the reason for the cool air!
Excellent haiku for our club my friend,,,,,,hi
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Gypsy, l really like this haiku. I have lived in Las Vegas where the summers can be brutal with the heat. Electric bills can get unbelievable just as your poem reflects. First two lines of what and where cool air is and then your satori tells us the reason for the cool air!
Excellent haiku for our club my friend,,,,,,hi
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
Comment from barkingdog
I can see how with the rising cost of electricity where fans may replace air conditioning for many.
I love the little girl jumping to reach the cool air.
;) e
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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I can see how with the rising cost of electricity where fans may replace air conditioning for many.
I love the little girl jumping to reach the cool air.
;) e
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
Comment from sandy montgomery
Great on many levels. Captures the photo. Perfect form. Great gotcha. Humor -truth- whimsy... Well done. Thank you for sharing your work.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Great on many levels. Captures the photo. Perfect form. Great gotcha. Humor -truth- whimsy... Well done. Thank you for sharing your work.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
Comment from Lu Saluna
This one is amazing, a hot summer day. Lofts have no air circulation. Poor little girl trying to catch the breeze, so cute. Nice satori, a bit of a play on words? Rising costs but heat rising as well in the loft?
Really well done.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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This one is amazing, a hot summer day. Lofts have no air circulation. Poor little girl trying to catch the breeze, so cute. Nice satori, a bit of a play on words? Rising costs but heat rising as well in the loft?
Really well done.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Yes, a bit of a play on words, it was fun :)
Yes, it is about hot days in New York and what they do to survive. A lot of the old lofts don't have an airconditioner. I love the picture and it made me smile. Did you ever stand in front of a fan and talk? It makes you sound funny. Also, the little girl is suspended in the air by the force of the air. Nobody has caught that.
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Oh.... I just took another look. I thought she was jumping, but yes you are right. it is not easy to catch that one. You really have to stretch to see that.
Good one!
Comment from padumachitta
hi
oh thanks...it is way belwo zero and snowing, pretty it may be, but cold...
so your wee poem brought me the feel of the hot summer and a fan ... Ac, well that is out of the question
good one
padumachitta
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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hi
oh thanks...it is way belwo zero and snowing, pretty it may be, but cold...
so your wee poem brought me the feel of the hot summer and a fan ... Ac, well that is out of the question
good one
padumachitta
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
Comment from krys123
Happy new year, MariVal;
-although I don't agree with using humanistic physical part of society for haiku because I believe I'm a traditionalist and only believe in nature and one can argue the fact that this is part of nature being human.
-But accepting the fact, I realize that this one is well written more like a senryu than it is a haiku.
-I like the humorous satori, seeing that it is a haiku, and very I consider funny but tragic because of the air conditioning can be costly but if you look at it from a humanistic behavior It is very stupid for one to run the AC for too long so one can almost say it's satirical in nature thus making it more a senryu.
-It definitely covers the understanding of the Kigo introducing the fact that in this summer because of the hot weather in the first two lines are not only grammatically connected but also our definitive descriptive and most vividly expressive.
-Thank you for sharing this, MariVal, And take care and have a good one.
Alex
PS: this should be fun to discuss during the team speak togetherness and copy this so I can refer to it.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Happy new year, MariVal;
-although I don't agree with using humanistic physical part of society for haiku because I believe I'm a traditionalist and only believe in nature and one can argue the fact that this is part of nature being human.
-But accepting the fact, I realize that this one is well written more like a senryu than it is a haiku.
-I like the humorous satori, seeing that it is a haiku, and very I consider funny but tragic because of the air conditioning can be costly but if you look at it from a humanistic behavior It is very stupid for one to run the AC for too long so one can almost say it's satirical in nature thus making it more a senryu.
-It definitely covers the understanding of the Kigo introducing the fact that in this summer because of the hot weather in the first two lines are not only grammatically connected but also our definitive descriptive and most vividly expressive.
-Thank you for sharing this, MariVal, And take care and have a good one.
Alex
PS: this should be fun to discuss during the team speak togetherness and copy this so I can refer to it.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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we all have the right to our own opinion.
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I'm still learning a lot, Gypsy, and my opinions are usually just questions to you for your more my teacher than anything. Thanks for offering your understanding, however, as I need to learn a lot more about the difference between a senryu and a haiku and a fine line between them both. Take care and have a good one and God bless.
Alex
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
A modern twist on an ancient form. Yes, the cost of utilities has certainly been going up as incomes keep going down. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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A modern twist on an ancient form. Yes, the cost of utilities has certainly been going up as incomes keep going down. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Wow, you are reading so many of my haiku! Thank you!!
Gypsy
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I try to read and review everything that flows through my inbox. I feel once fanned there is a responsibility to encourage each other.
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I feel the same way but for me is not humanly possible. Since I got a job as teacher here in fanstory and with my art shows and art classes, I just don't have the extra time. I do catch an occasional read and it's always a pleasure.
Thank you, my friend
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi GBR,
I love this. I was a bit slow at getting this but when the penny finally dropped I was laughing. What a great Haiku. The Picture ties in with the haiku perfectly.
Loved it.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
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Hi GBR,
I love this. I was a bit slow at getting this but when the penny finally dropped I was laughing. What a great Haiku. The Picture ties in with the haiku perfectly.
Loved it.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 02-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2017
