The Wait
watching our grandfather die9 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, my friend,
Great syllable count and well-connected lines. The presentation complements the theme. In 17 syllables you were able to capture the tragedy of death. Well done!
Gypsy Sensei
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2017
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Hello, my friend,
Great syllable count and well-connected lines. The presentation complements the theme. In 17 syllables you were able to capture the tragedy of death. Well done!
Gypsy Sensei
Comment Written 28-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2017
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Thanks for reading and responding to my work. I do appreciate it.
Comment from Leineco
poignant
the final line says so much. . .about how no matter how "crucial" or dire
things may be. . .life does not take a sabbatical. . .bills must still be paid,
jobs must still be tended to, friends, family and pets need attention, etc
and then. in the aftermath, the world still keeps turning - no matter that
we thought it would end. . .no matter that we just want to push the "pause"
button. . .
we have no choice. . .we go on living.
Nicely done in such a "small" poem.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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poignant
the final line says so much. . .about how no matter how "crucial" or dire
things may be. . .life does not take a sabbatical. . .bills must still be paid,
jobs must still be tended to, friends, family and pets need attention, etc
and then. in the aftermath, the world still keeps turning - no matter that
we thought it would end. . .no matter that we just want to push the "pause"
button. . .
we have no choice. . .we go on living.
Nicely done in such a "small" poem.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2017
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Thanks so much for reading my words and putting so much thought and effort in your reply. I do appreciate that I made you ponder!!
Comment from Muffins
The pain of watching and waiting for a love one to pass away is the most unnatural thing I experienced. I did not expect to "share such a moment with my dad when he passed away( age 55) from cancer.
The words you chosen are quiet and heavy. They carry a solemn respectful air to them. It incorporates of the living and the dying into something horrifying yet naturally at the same time. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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The pain of watching and waiting for a love one to pass away is the most unnatural thing I experienced. I did not expect to "share such a moment with my dad when he passed away( age 55) from cancer.
The words you chosen are quiet and heavy. They carry a solemn respectful air to them. It incorporates of the living and the dying into something horrifying yet naturally at the same time. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thank you so much for your response. I loved your statement about my words being "quiet and heavy"--that's exactly how I felt. And I so appreciate the 6 stars--I needed the motivation!
Comment from country ranch writer
I feel your pain it is not any easy road to go down I have been there so many times within my family more times than I can count.My prayers go out to you and yours
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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I feel your pain it is not any easy road to go down I have been there so many times within my family more times than I can count.My prayers go out to you and yours
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thank you for reading and responding. Yes, unfortunately, we all can identify.
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SMILES
Comment from laffad
Damn. This one hits right at home for me. I had to watch my grandfather choke to death in front of me when I was eleven. I'm here if you ever need to talk.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Damn. This one hits right at home for me. I had to watch my grandfather choke to death in front of me when I was eleven. I'm here if you ever need to talk.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thanks so much for responding to my words. Yes, it is very difficult to observe.
Comment from RodG
This 5-7-5 works for me because it evokes real thought about mortality. As one watches someone die, what does he think? And IN WHAT WAY does he go "on living?" There is a real prose story waiting to be written, writer. I'd like to see you expand this. Or I might try if you don't mind. Rod
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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This 5-7-5 works for me because it evokes real thought about mortality. As one watches someone die, what does he think? And IN WHAT WAY does he go "on living?" There is a real prose story waiting to be written, writer. I'd like to see you expand this. Or I might try if you don't mind. Rod
Comment Written 26-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2017
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Thanks so much for responding to my words. Yes, there is a whole story behind those few words. I'm just not too good at prose. Please expand my thoughts if you like.
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Thank you for your permission to try MY hand at this. Rod
Comment from BeasPeas
Touching and emotional 5-7-5, presented appropriately in the sterile setting of waiting. Worded well. Impactful. It makes us wonder the reason for such a lengthy process--not that we want loved ones to go, but we don't want them to suffer either. Marilyn
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Touching and emotional 5-7-5, presented appropriately in the sterile setting of waiting. Worded well. Impactful. It makes us wonder the reason for such a lengthy process--not that we want loved ones to go, but we don't want them to suffer either. Marilyn
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
Comment from Janet Foor
So sorry for the loss of your grandfather.
There is a somber and yet hopeful message in this 5/7/5 poem. Life does go on and that is the way of things but the loss of a loved one is never easy.
Well done
Blessings
Janet
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So sorry for the loss of your grandfather.
There is a somber and yet hopeful message in this 5/7/5 poem. Life does go on and that is the way of things but the loss of a loved one is never easy.
Well done
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
Comment from winnona
A well-written contest entry. The words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. I think you completed the challenge of the contest .
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A well-written contest entry. The words flowed well line to line combining easily and forming the message of the poem for the reader. I think you completed the challenge of the contest .
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
