Love's embers
3/5/3 Senryu on Love23 total reviews
Comment from angel123
Your short poem is meaningful and well-written. I enjoyed reading it and it flows well. Your artwork choice goes well with your message. Happy Holidays.
angel123
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Your short poem is meaningful and well-written. I enjoyed reading it and it flows well. Your artwork choice goes well with your message. Happy Holidays.
angel123
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Thank you for reading and the critique zanya
Comment from RodG
This short poem summarizes all too many relationships that began like a hot fire and quickly became grey ash with lingering embers. This 3-5-3 earned my vote.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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This short poem summarizes all too many relationships that began like a hot fire and quickly became grey ash with lingering embers. This 3-5-3 earned my vote.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Thank you for reading and for the vote -much appreciated zanya
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is very well written you have said so much using the limitations of this form it is very beautiful I enjoyed well done good luck regards Jill
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Yes this is very well written you have said so much using the limitations of this form it is very beautiful I enjoyed well done good luck regards Jill
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Thank you for reading and the critique zanya
Comment from nancyrabbrose
I think you have a winner. I cannot imagine a more perfect poem for the form you used. It is so true. Good for you. I love the internal rhyming and the warm feeling that the poem gives the reader.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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I think you have a winner. I cannot imagine a more perfect poem for the form you used. It is so true. Good for you. I love the internal rhyming and the warm feeling that the poem gives the reader.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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And thanks again for this vote of confidence & 6 beautiful stars zanya
Comment from Irish Rain
And that is real love. Because that spark never lasts, but embers provide an even warmth through life's winters. A great entry, Happy New year!!!
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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And that is real love. Because that spark never lasts, but embers provide an even warmth through life's winters. A great entry, Happy New year!!!
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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And a great review zanya
Comment from jusylee72
Very thoughtful three lined poem. It portrays all the thoughts joined together very fluently. I can picture the hidden embers under the dead ashes. Very well done.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Very thoughtful three lined poem. It portrays all the thoughts joined together very fluently. I can picture the hidden embers under the dead ashes. Very well done.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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And thanks for a great review zanya
Comment from Thal1959
Nice Senryu, and the thought it expresses. Though a Senryu is not held to the strictures of a Haiku, I find they do better when they resemble a Haiku, at least its Satori. Generally speaking, a rule of thumb of mine is to read the lines as if it were one sentence: "Love's embers linger after spark is gone." It is usually better to fashion a independent thought somewhere in the structure. But this is why I am not partial to such short forms - their brevity makes it almost impossible to include an independent thought as a reference.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Nice Senryu, and the thought it expresses. Though a Senryu is not held to the strictures of a Haiku, I find they do better when they resemble a Haiku, at least its Satori. Generally speaking, a rule of thumb of mine is to read the lines as if it were one sentence: "Love's embers linger after spark is gone." It is usually better to fashion a independent thought somewhere in the structure. But this is why I am not partial to such short forms - their brevity makes it almost impossible to include an independent thought as a reference.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Thank you for reading and the useful commentary zanya
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You are always welcome.
Comment from William Ross
Good job on the senryu on the fading of love once the spark is gone, the trick is to not let the flame go out. good luck on this and have a great day
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Good job on the senryu on the fading of love once the spark is gone, the trick is to not let the flame go out. good luck on this and have a great day
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Thanks for a great review zanya
Comment from royowen
What an excellent piece of contemporary artwork for the short but succinctly written piece. The entry is well presented and fits the contest well done, good luck in the contest, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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What an excellent piece of contemporary artwork for the short but succinctly written piece. The entry is well presented and fits the contest well done, good luck in the contest, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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Thanks for reading and the critique zanya
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a stellar entry as you use your syllables beautifully. The difference between passion and love is made clear in your well chosen words. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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This is a stellar entry as you use your syllables beautifully. The difference between passion and love is made clear in your well chosen words. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
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And thank you for this positive review zanya
