haiku suite--burning warehouse traps
Haiku Club Challenge # 1 fire76 total reviews
Comment from bookishfabler
Well, my dear, I have problems writing one Haiku, never mind six, and all on the same subject. wow, that was impressive. I think you did a fabulous job. You certainly succeeded in the challenge.
Merry Christmas
Heidi
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Well, my dear, I have problems writing one Haiku, never mind six, and all on the same subject. wow, that was impressive. I think you did a fabulous job. You certainly succeeded in the challenge.
Merry Christmas
Heidi
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Heidi, I could have written more haiku about this tragedy. Visiting the ruins and the memorial in front of them provided snapshots of sensations, observations, and emotions. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
All six of your well-composed haiku in this suite concerning the tragic fire that decimated the Ghost Ship Warehouse approach the horrible tragedy from a completely different perspective, Andre.
However, each one is extremely hard hitting and very gut-wrenching in its own right.
A few, such as your first haiku comparing the inferno in the warehouse space to a crematorium, evoke a strong sense of claustrophobic horror and are very visual.
Others, such as the haiku concerning all of the poinsettias left in memorial, are less horrific, more poignant, and evoke a strong sense of sadness and loss. All are composed using a syllable count of seventeen syllables, or less, as required by the haiku form, display a variety of concrete imagery, and use fire as a seasonal reference, or "kigo." Each satori is a good observation of the two-lined phrase that comes before them.
Simply outstanding...
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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All six of your well-composed haiku in this suite concerning the tragic fire that decimated the Ghost Ship Warehouse approach the horrible tragedy from a completely different perspective, Andre.
However, each one is extremely hard hitting and very gut-wrenching in its own right.
A few, such as your first haiku comparing the inferno in the warehouse space to a crematorium, evoke a strong sense of claustrophobic horror and are very visual.
Others, such as the haiku concerning all of the poinsettias left in memorial, are less horrific, more poignant, and evoke a strong sense of sadness and loss. All are composed using a syllable count of seventeen syllables, or less, as required by the haiku form, display a variety of concrete imagery, and use fire as a seasonal reference, or "kigo." Each satori is a good observation of the two-lined phrase that comes before them.
Simply outstanding...
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dean, for encouraging me to write and share these haiku. I did not know that I had them in me. They allowed me to capture in kaleidoscopic snapshots and sound bites the horror and the devastation. One reviewer described them as "macabre." Where have you heard that before? Thank you for encouraging me to accept the haiku challenge. I look forward to sharing more. Thank you also for your generous, six star review.
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You're more than welcome, Andre.
Haiku is a very powerful form of poetic expression when done properly.
All of yours certainly were.
I look forward to more of your haiku in the future. All six of these were outstanding.
~Dean
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You lead in well with your first haiku, taking each aspect in as we progress down the page. That was a terrible fire, destroying many lives and many families. Your Haiku Suite is perfectly written and a tribute to all who died that terrible night. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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You lead in well with your first haiku, taking each aspect in as we progress down the page. That was a terrible fire, destroying many lives and many families. Your Haiku Suite is perfectly written and a tribute to all who died that terrible night. Sandra xx
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Sandra, for your review of my "perfectly written" tribute to all who died. I wanted to open my suite strong with a haiku that explains the tragedy and then use the other haiku to describe a different aspect. Thank you again for your review.
Comment from CEO2020
Nice piece in describing a tragic occurrence, The first stanza brings immediate impact -
"burning warehouse traps
revelers inside brick walls
crematorium"
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Nice piece in describing a tragic occurrence, The first stanza brings immediate impact -
"burning warehouse traps
revelers inside brick walls
crematorium"
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Yes, CEO2020, when I reporter interviewed me in front of the ruins, I described them as a crematorium as a dwelt upon the fact that I was probably inhaling the atoms of people who have been incinerated. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Heather Knight
This is a great poem and a great tribute, Andre.
I'm glad I read the previous one, as it has helped me to understand this one better.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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This is a great poem and a great tribute, Andre.
I'm glad I read the previous one, as it has helped me to understand this one better.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Maria, for your generous, six star review. I am glad the previous poem helped you understand this one.
Comment from Eternal Muse
Excellent haiku suite that gave me chills. I was unaware of that concert fire you write about, but that is horrific.
Each haiku is well done with excellent visuals. I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Excellent haiku suite that gave me chills. I was unaware of that concert fire you write about, but that is horrific.
Each haiku is well done with excellent visuals. I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Yes, ytbard, the "excellent visuals" resulted from me getting as close to the ruins as the police and fire department allowed. I noted everything and took pictures. I did not realize then that they would provide me source material for my haiku suite. Thank you for your review.
Comment from rjuselius
this is an outstanding haiku suite dear sis cat! i think that haiku writers have become more and more talented with new perpectives and unique topics and sentiments.
thank you for sharing!
vlessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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this is an outstanding haiku suite dear sis cat! i think that haiku writers have become more and more talented with new perpectives and unique topics and sentiments.
thank you for sharing!
vlessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Yes, Rebekka, I, too, feel "that haiku writers have become more and more talented with new perspectives and unique topics and sentiments." My haiku differs in texture and emotions from many haiku I have read. Mine resemble the haiku people wrote after the tsunami in Japan. Thank you for your generous, six star review and blessings.
Comment from Ella25
Excellent Haiku. Very challenging and sad to read a story of lost lives, though it was an inspiration for your poetry. Nothing will replace those taken away, no money of any kind. Christmas without love ones. Well presented my friend. My admiration. Blessings, Ella
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Excellent Haiku. Very challenging and sad to read a story of lost lives, though it was an inspiration for your poetry. Nothing will replace those taken away, no money of any kind. Christmas without love ones. Well presented my friend. My admiration. Blessings, Ella
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Yes, Ella, it is horrible, horrible that these people died right before Christmas. I remember standing in front of the ruins and gazing upon the the poinsettias and Christmas decorations at the memorial. This is how some of the family and friends of the departed will celebrate the holidays this year. Thank you for your review and blessings.
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Always a pleasure to read you artistic work. Ella
Comment from winnona
A well-written piece. Your words flow and combine easily forming the message of the poem for the reader. I think you completed the challenge well. Your artwork completed the piece
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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A well-written piece. Your words flow and combine easily forming the message of the poem for the reader. I think you completed the challenge well. Your artwork completed the piece
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Thank you, winnona, for your review. I am amazed at how many haiku I could write just by visiting the ruins. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Badger_29
I am in awe of your ability to write so many interestingly morbid haiku's, then tie up the loose ends with a beautiful, timely poinsettia. I read each one individually, then together. Astounding
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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I am in awe of your ability to write so many interestingly morbid haiku's, then tie up the loose ends with a beautiful, timely poinsettia. I read each one individually, then together. Astounding
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Yes, Badger_29, these haiku are "morbid." Standing outside the warehouse where so many people died was unlike anything I have ever experienced before. An overwhelming sadness hung over the are. I recorded my thoughts in which the poinsettias tie up the loose ends. Thank you for your generous, six star review.
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Every star was earned; you have a very special talent of causing the (attentive, empathic) reader to experience the richness, good and bad, I am honored. Darren
