Not Sure Yet
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Mountain Cat"Free verse poems
25 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
I agree, Carol. It's not the mountain lion's fault he has natural tendencies to be a predator. That's why they created as they were, with long, sharp claws and huge fangs. Tools required un order to rip and tear flesh from bone.
This was not only a very well written blank verse, in perfect iambic pentameter, it was also an informative one as well.
Who would think that farmers living in such a wildness place wouldn't do everything within their power to protect their pets and livestock?
Great work, and best of luck in the judging.
~Dean
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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I agree, Carol. It's not the mountain lion's fault he has natural tendencies to be a predator. That's why they created as they were, with long, sharp claws and huge fangs. Tools required un order to rip and tear flesh from bone.
This was not only a very well written blank verse, in perfect iambic pentameter, it was also an informative one as well.
Who would think that farmers living in such a wildness place wouldn't do everything within their power to protect their pets and livestock?
Great work, and best of luck in the judging.
~Dean
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Doesn't it seem ridiculous to move into a place like that....decide to get a bunch of animals and they jury-rig up a fence and a few motion lights? Then announce you want to kill the lion??? Fortunately, common sense prevailed (a thing seldom seen these days).
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Yes, it's ludicrous.
You're also right about common sense. I believe with cell phones and the internet it is being devolved out of our species, LOL.
~Dean :)
Comment from Just2Write
Another great entry into the Blank Verse contest, and one that reads as smooth as silk. One has a hard time believing it does not rhyme. Exceptional work here.
The Mountain lion, or cougar is such a magnificent animal. My grandfather was attacked by one and he killed it with his bare hands. Such a feat was a source of pride in those years. Times and life were hard. For years, it was rug on his living room floor. As a kid, I remember touching those teeth and claws while watching TV at his house. You're right about cats - NEVER RUN. It stirs the animal's natural hunting instinct to see you as prey. We had cougars in the area of my summer home, but I only had a close encounter once. It's a long story about a kid and how she didn't end up as being dinner.
Farmers can only do so much against a hungry cat. But still, they must try. As humans, we keep going deep into their territory and then eradicating the wild animals that live there. Great write.
The only line where I tripped up was the closing line.
and Jesus, Man, d'you think you'll kill them all?
I had trouble with d'you reading as one syllable.
I don't want to change your thought or meaning at all - but a suggestion to show what I mean would be:
and Jesus, Man, must you now kill them all?
Rose
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Another great entry into the Blank Verse contest, and one that reads as smooth as silk. One has a hard time believing it does not rhyme. Exceptional work here.
The Mountain lion, or cougar is such a magnificent animal. My grandfather was attacked by one and he killed it with his bare hands. Such a feat was a source of pride in those years. Times and life were hard. For years, it was rug on his living room floor. As a kid, I remember touching those teeth and claws while watching TV at his house. You're right about cats - NEVER RUN. It stirs the animal's natural hunting instinct to see you as prey. We had cougars in the area of my summer home, but I only had a close encounter once. It's a long story about a kid and how she didn't end up as being dinner.
Farmers can only do so much against a hungry cat. But still, they must try. As humans, we keep going deep into their territory and then eradicating the wild animals that live there. Great write.
The only line where I tripped up was the closing line.
and Jesus, Man, d'you think you'll kill them all?
I had trouble with d'you reading as one syllable.
I don't want to change your thought or meaning at all - but a suggestion to show what I mean would be:
and Jesus, Man, must you now kill them all?
Rose
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Oh, I like your suggestion for the last line. The CEC might object to the way I had it - in the first draft I had it as "d'ye". But I think the way you put it will be better.
You have some amazing stories about mountain lions yourself, where did your Grandfather live? We had them in Montana too, and Utah, where I lived in earlier years. Never have seen one yet!
There are solutions, like livestock guardian dogs, barns, fenced areas with fencing on TOP as well as the sides...
Thanks so much for the great review and the help too!
Carol
Comment from Pantygynt
This argument is as old as civilization. I don't think it is in any way the duty of a literary reviewer, in another part of the world where these animals do not exist, to become involved in the debate. I think you argue your case well within the the congines of a work of poetry and there will be those who vote on moral rather than literary grounds.
I know that when I kept chickens that I used to let roam free by day, and a fox took some, I looked upon it as my fault since I knew there were foxes there. I just hadn't expected them to hunt in daylight.
Your blank verse is impressive and the way the story is told, the scene set, the predator approaching, the strike and the subsequent argument is splendidly done.
One piece of spag for your attention:
"Where cats have tread," The past participle of tread is trod or trodden. You need the former to maintain the meter.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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This argument is as old as civilization. I don't think it is in any way the duty of a literary reviewer, in another part of the world where these animals do not exist, to become involved in the debate. I think you argue your case well within the the congines of a work of poetry and there will be those who vote on moral rather than literary grounds.
I know that when I kept chickens that I used to let roam free by day, and a fox took some, I looked upon it as my fault since I knew there were foxes there. I just hadn't expected them to hunt in daylight.
Your blank verse is impressive and the way the story is told, the scene set, the predator approaching, the strike and the subsequent argument is splendidly done.
One piece of spag for your attention:
"Where cats have tread," The past participle of tread is trod or trodden. You need the former to maintain the meter.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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I know there are folks on both sides of the issue, but we have a huge population of people in the L.A. area who love the lions, bobcats, coyotes, etc. We'll see how the reviews come in, so far I haven't deeply annoyed anyone.
Thanks for noting the spag, I will change that tread to trod! For some reason, the proper use of that word evades me (it's happened before).
I hope to get chickens when we move to our property up north, but plan to have a completely enclosed house for them - lots of critters sneaking around, including foxes.
Carol
Comment from misscookie
He is so beautiful but must be feared.
I like the pose poem your wrote.
But that is how nature works.
Thank you for sharing this interesting read and Glad the meeting will help man and beast.
Cookie
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2016
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He is so beautiful but must be feared.
I like the pose poem your wrote.
But that is how nature works.
Thank you for sharing this interesting read and Glad the meeting will help man and beast.
Cookie
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2016
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I would love to see one, if possible from a safe distance! Thanks for reading, and yes the meeting will help both the landowner and the mountain lion (thank God!)
Hugs,
Carol
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You're very welcome, may yours have a blessed Sunday.
Cookie
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem tells a vivid story with a well formed setting. What does man expect when he encroaches on a wild animal's natural habitat. It is sad that an animal has to be killed for doing what it needs to do to survive. But the mountiain cat was greedy and wasteful by killing so many when he/she only needed one or two.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2016
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This poem tells a vivid story with a well formed setting. What does man expect when he encroaches on a wild animal's natural habitat. It is sad that an animal has to be killed for doing what it needs to do to survive. But the mountiain cat was greedy and wasteful by killing so many when he/she only needed one or two.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2016
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It's just the way cats are designed, they're made to chase after things that run away. it's sad that he killed so many when he only needed one to eat. The rancher is going to build a better enclosure and maybe get dogs too. She's getting help doing that, so it's the best solution all around.
Thanks :)
Carol
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Good for the farmer and those helping. You're welcome.
Joan
Comment from Nika2016
I am giving a six for both poem and advocacy. Before leaving California, I fought to preserve the mountain lion corridor that runs from San Dimas through Orange County...spoke with the attorney for LA County Commission and he drove out to observe first hand..Even after leaving the state I advocated by mail...My reward (?) a mountain lion coming to my door each night for five years..He sat by my kitchen door purring..a purr that vibrated the wall...Because I lived near their habitat in California, I know their screams...and footprints. No one believed me until the big cat was caught on a game camera..near town. I live at the edge of a national forest..two blocks from the woods...
I realize that I have been hearing these cats my entire life..as I have always lived in a mountainous area. They are not human predators. He could have attacked me while outside many nights, but he warned me..instead.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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I am giving a six for both poem and advocacy. Before leaving California, I fought to preserve the mountain lion corridor that runs from San Dimas through Orange County...spoke with the attorney for LA County Commission and he drove out to observe first hand..Even after leaving the state I advocated by mail...My reward (?) a mountain lion coming to my door each night for five years..He sat by my kitchen door purring..a purr that vibrated the wall...Because I lived near their habitat in California, I know their screams...and footprints. No one believed me until the big cat was caught on a game camera..near town. I live at the edge of a national forest..two blocks from the woods...
I realize that I have been hearing these cats my entire life..as I have always lived in a mountainous area. They are not human predators. He could have attacked me while outside many nights, but he warned me..instead.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Thanks so much for sharing your stories...so fascinating. I most certainly advocate for them, we have a freeway crossing project going with LA County, the National Wildlife Federation, and NPS - the land is purchased now. It will help with their safety and bio. diversity.
I appreciate as well the exceptional rating!
Carol
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I read about it...good job!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good poem, but I have two questions... why are there six lines in one stanza? Also, is this a totally true story? For a mountain lion or cougar will not kill more than it can eat. Killing is hard work, and as soon as its belly is full, it will have no desire to kill more. So ten is not reasonable. Unless this cat just liked to kill... or perhaps there were several cats?
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Good poem, but I have two questions... why are there six lines in one stanza? Also, is this a totally true story? For a mountain lion or cougar will not kill more than it can eat. Killing is hard work, and as soon as its belly is full, it will have no desire to kill more. So ten is not reasonable. Unless this cat just liked to kill... or perhaps there were several cats?
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Well, it's not a sonnet, it's a poem using iambic pentameter and blank verse. And the story is absolutely true. We heard the National Park Service biologist talk about the reason that the cat killed 11 animals. They are cats, and cats will chase something that runs from them. The other animals ran after he killed the first one, and he did what's natural for cats to do. They studied the scene extensively. You can google it, "P-45 mountain lion" and read the news articles about it. The rules for safety if you meet a big cat include, DO NOT RUN - they will chase you. The evidence was one cat, and since he's radio collared, they know it was him. They are territorial animals and tend not to inhabit the same areas. These NPS guys have studied the cats for 20 years, so they do know what they're doing.
The one liberty I took was to say he killed goats. They were actually alpacas. I didn't feel like elaborating on that, as that was not the point of the poem. Also, I just realized there were 10 of them, not 11. Oops!
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Interesting. The big cats in Africa won't do that. Maybe it was easier to catch the goats because they were penned.
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Yeah, I'm sure it was easy for him. I feel sorry for the goats, and the owner. She needs to have secure, covered enclosures for them, or get dogs to help guard the property. People use livestock guardian dogs of various breeds and they are very effective.
Comment from tfawcus
The word choices here, together with subtle assonance and alliteration, make this read as smoothly as any rhymed verse. It is a beautifully crafted poem. The iambic rhythm flows well and the only end-rhyme that I spotted was 'last' L14 and 'fast' L23. The pair is well separated by the intervening lines, but you might like to make a change to comply with the contest rules. You still have time... just!
I must say, I rather agree with the premise of your work, especially in these days when so much of our fauna is threatened by habitat loss. The same applies here to sharks, an indispensable part of the oceanic food chain, that are hunted almost to extinction.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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The word choices here, together with subtle assonance and alliteration, make this read as smoothly as any rhymed verse. It is a beautifully crafted poem. The iambic rhythm flows well and the only end-rhyme that I spotted was 'last' L14 and 'fast' L23. The pair is well separated by the intervening lines, but you might like to make a change to comply with the contest rules. You still have time... just!
I must say, I rather agree with the premise of your work, especially in these days when so much of our fauna is threatened by habitat loss. The same applies here to sharks, an indispensable part of the oceanic food chain, that are hunted almost to extinction.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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I did go ahead and make that change, getting rid of "last" - thanks for that, I do recall that the CEC is quite adamant about enforcing rules.
The landowner whose pet alpacas (actually not goats) were killed has relented and agreed to allow the shelter to be built on her property - paid for by nonprofit organizations (I donated $100 last night). I really feel for her, it has to have been monumentally upsetting to see the carnage. The issue is...being aware of your surroundings and ensuring the absolute safety of your pets or livestock. It can be done, and there's help here for even financially challenged folks. We love our wildlife here!
Oh, I absolutely agree about the sharks! I surf, and I know there are white sharks in the water - it's part of the equation. I would never ask that one be killed, for any reason. Animals are not evil or vindictive. Humans on the other hand...
Comment from TheWriteTeach
I don't know much of anything about blank verse, so I can't comment on the correctness of form, etc. With that said, I liked what you wrote. If only more people understood that wild animals need to eat, too. Perhaps a hired gun would kill the 'offender,' but another, then another and another, will replace it. The two worlds need to co-exist; not an easy task to accomplish. Nice job with this. Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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I don't know much of anything about blank verse, so I can't comment on the correctness of form, etc. With that said, I liked what you wrote. If only more people understood that wild animals need to eat, too. Perhaps a hired gun would kill the 'offender,' but another, then another and another, will replace it. The two worlds need to co-exist; not an easy task to accomplish. Nice job with this. Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
Comment Written 02-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2016
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Yes, the other lions would come in - and since this was a dominant, older male, he would likely be replaced by younger, less experienced males who would be MORE likely to kill. We heard an interesting lecture from NPS biologists who study them. Killing this lion honestly would not make sense.
Comment from Gloria ....
I hear you, Carol. Man keeps encroaching on wild animals habitat and they get all up in arms and want to kill them all. We just have so much to learn still.
This is an excellent blank verse. There is some heavy duty competition in this one.
Just one line needs some attention.
of mountains where the wild creatures roam. - one syllable missing in that line.
Superb. That's a nice looking cat. Best wishes to you in the contest. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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I hear you, Carol. Man keeps encroaching on wild animals habitat and they get all up in arms and want to kill them all. We just have so much to learn still.
This is an excellent blank verse. There is some heavy duty competition in this one.
Just one line needs some attention.
of mountains where the wild creatures roam. - one syllable missing in that line.
Superb. That's a nice looking cat. Best wishes to you in the contest. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 01-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2016
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Do you think "wild" could be drawn out into two syllables? That was my thought in writing the line in question...
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Likely not HAHA. Best to play it safe with the contest committee.
