Natural Mirror
Introduction14 total reviews
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
I really enjoyed reviewing this contest entry to the Mirror contest. Can so relate...and, I am also a Gemini! One suggestion: You change the POV in verse three from that used in one and two and four and five. May want to edit...your call, your work! Loved it anyway. Best of luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
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I really enjoyed reviewing this contest entry to the Mirror contest. Can so relate...and, I am also a Gemini! One suggestion: You change the POV in verse three from that used in one and two and four and five. May want to edit...your call, your work! Loved it anyway. Best of luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 11-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2016
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Thanks for your suggestion and for a positive review. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Othell
Nicely thought out and put together. Introduction brings questions as to the out come and or what will be. In between delivers still a flow of interest and the wanting to know. The ending continues with a flow delivered a well put together answer to the meaning and the closing for Nature's Mirror.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2016
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Nicely thought out and put together. Introduction brings questions as to the out come and or what will be. In between delivers still a flow of interest and the wanting to know. The ending continues with a flow delivered a well put together answer to the meaning and the closing for Nature's Mirror.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2016
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Thank you for a very positive review.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The verbal structure of the story highlights the shock and embarrassment of a woman who suddenly sees her reflection from a lake and perceives an incongruency between her age and the age of the woman she sees in the reflection.
She cannot be that old,she reiterates and derives rationale for being thus disposed on the fact that she was born a Gemini,which makes her two.That is,one that appears older in the reflection from the lake and the other,which she perceives in her mind.She appears to approximate Shakespeare's Julius Caesar's thought process and could be perceived as saying that "they were like two lions littered in one day and she being the last to have been born is the younger sister of the older one reflected in the Lake.Excellent work!Bravo!
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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2016
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The verbal structure of the story highlights the shock and embarrassment of a woman who suddenly sees her reflection from a lake and perceives an incongruency between her age and the age of the woman she sees in the reflection.
She cannot be that old,she reiterates and derives rationale for being thus disposed on the fact that she was born a Gemini,which makes her two.That is,one that appears older in the reflection from the lake and the other,which she perceives in her mind.She appears to approximate Shakespeare's Julius Caesar's thought process and could be perceived as saying that "they were like two lions littered in one day and she being the last to have been born is the younger sister of the older one reflected in the Lake.Excellent work!Bravo!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2016
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Wow ! Thank you so much for taking the time to corectly interpret my poem. You are obviously a deep thinker. I am honored that it would even remotely remind you of a Shakespearean character. I see you live in Nigeria that's interesting. I have found a good place with fanstory. It has liberated me in creative terms.
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Remain Blessed!
Comment from cumulus365
The poem presents an interesting take on a reflection on the water's surface is of an older woman not of the youthful subject. The illustration effectively enhances the meaning of the poem in that the movement of the water surface represents wrinkles and is a clever thought to compare. The thought is fluid building up from one event to another . I spy in the fourth stanza, there is a "B" after I regret, should the B be there? I like you used poetic device of personification to represent water features that feature the older woman. Nice write.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2016
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The poem presents an interesting take on a reflection on the water's surface is of an older woman not of the youthful subject. The illustration effectively enhances the meaning of the poem in that the movement of the water surface represents wrinkles and is a clever thought to compare. The thought is fluid building up from one event to another . I spy in the fourth stanza, there is a "B" after I regret, should the B be there? I like you used poetic device of personification to represent water features that feature the older woman. Nice write.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2016
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Thank you very much. I am glad you liked the poem. The subject is a sore point for many women . However, many of us grow more beautiful in character as we age. I shall have to delete the B thank you it was a good observation.
