Unstoppable
Terrible twos against Dad6 total reviews
Comment from TheWriteTeach
This is a cute story about a child not liking to be told what to do. I like how the required word, 'stop' is used over and over in the story, by the father. It stresses the point of the parent trying to keep his child safe.
I noticed a few spags:
I moved them forwards and backwards, forwards and backwards[,] and giggled. (Use a comma to separate items in a series of three or more.)
In the meantime, Mum just watched us[,] and from time to time told Dad to let me be. (Use a comma to separate two independent clauses that are joined with a conjunction.)
Your dialogue is punctuated incorrectly. Direct quotations use the double quote marks rather than the single quote marks. The single quote mark is used to indicate a quote within a quote.
Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
This is a cute story about a child not liking to be told what to do. I like how the required word, 'stop' is used over and over in the story, by the father. It stresses the point of the parent trying to keep his child safe.
I noticed a few spags:
I moved them forwards and backwards, forwards and backwards[,] and giggled. (Use a comma to separate items in a series of three or more.)
In the meantime, Mum just watched us[,] and from time to time told Dad to let me be. (Use a comma to separate two independent clauses that are joined with a conjunction.)
Your dialogue is punctuated incorrectly. Direct quotations use the double quote marks rather than the single quote marks. The single quote mark is used to indicate a quote within a quote.
Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
Comment Written 17-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
-
In England single quotation marks can be used for dialogue, so I take it you're American.
Thanks for reading.
-
In England single quotation marks can be used for dialogue, so I take it you're American.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Very cute story. Worries of parents as seen thru the eyes of a child. "Stop stopping me!" What a great line.
Love the picture. You look like you were a handful. LOL!
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
Very cute story. Worries of parents as seen thru the eyes of a child. "Stop stopping me!" What a great line.
Love the picture. You look like you were a handful. LOL!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
-
I was!
Thanks for reading.
Comment from DonandVicki
A cute story that took me back to my childhood. I did a lot of things that myaren't told me not to. I think it is inherent that all chi
dren are curious.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
A cute story that took me back to my childhood. I did a lot of things that myaren't told me not to. I think it is inherent that all chi
dren are curious.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
-
Thanks for reading.
Comment from RodG
This story is a delightful entry that introduces us to a very precocious child. At the same time, we can relate to Dad who is protective and disciplinarian. I, too, chuckled at Maria's retort to her family.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
This story is a delightful entry that introduces us to a very precocious child. At the same time, we can relate to Dad who is protective and disciplinarian. I, too, chuckled at Maria's retort to her family.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
-
Thanks for your review, Rod.
Comment from papa55mike
This is so well written and the picture is awesome. I love the font you chose it makes it easier to read. I use it too. I never wanted to be in pictures either and I've told my kids to stop so many times, I can say it sign language too. I wish I had a six for you.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
This is so well written and the picture is awesome. I love the font you chose it makes it easier to read. I use it too. I never wanted to be in pictures either and I've told my kids to stop so many times, I can say it sign language too. I wish I had a six for you.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
-
Thanks for your kind review, Mike. Take care.
Comment from valmay
A sweet reminiscence of early childhood. I liked the ending of stop stopping me. The last sentence seemed a bit unwieldy. Perhaps if you took out the 'very well' it would be stronger.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
A sweet reminiscence of early childhood. I liked the ending of stop stopping me. The last sentence seemed a bit unwieldy. Perhaps if you took out the 'very well' it would be stronger.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2016
-
Thanks for reading.