Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Very good contemplative poem with interesting rhyme scheme plus fine rhymes and slant rhymes as well as superb consonance of S plus soft C in the first stanza and P & V in the second. Sounds great read aloud. Good rhythmic groove.

Just one optional suggestion, for your consideration, to shift the first two rhymes from:

If dream perceives
And heart conceives

TO:

If dream conceives
And heart perceives

LOVE THIS LINE:
If wisdom trains
And faith sustains



This poem reveals to me that you have a keen sense of the music of words--which I love...looking forward to reading more from you! Welcome to FS.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2016

rd - thank you so much for the in-depth review. I'll consider your recommendation. I love words and the 'music' as you called it. Was a lonely child and spend all my free time reading Webster's Dictionary and Encyclopedia Brittainica (no kidding.)
God bless!
Relda

reply by rama devi on 06-Nov-2016

That's a blessing! My family had those encyclopedias well--the whole set. Warm Smiles and God bless,
rd

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

very good, faith, hope and love our mankind's trinity here on earth, if we have all of these the right path you are on. thanks for the share and have a good day.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2016

Hi William - good to talk to you again. I think the last time I was on FanStory was in May when I read your "Sisters" piece. Thank you for your review and kind comments. I'll get back in the groove and check in on your site to see what you're up to. - Relda

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

How lovely and true. I'm so sorry he's passing, but never to be lost, as life never truly dies. I loved this, says so much, blessings....

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2016

So nice to meet you! Thanks for your encouragement. Bud is an amazing man - he's been cracking jokes all day and making plans to go see our son and family in OK City at Thanksgiving. If anyone is stubborn enough to do it, it's my Bud.
God bless and my best,
Relda

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

HI Relda, I am so happy to see you...missed ya...I am so sorry sweet girl ...I don't think age has anything to do with who we love...it's what we feel in hearts for each other...true live is forever....eternal...very nicely written...love Linda xxoo Luff

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016

Linda - thank you for your review and I've missed you too. So nice to share with folks who care. XXOO back at you. - Relda

reply by l.raven on 04-Nov-2016

I hope your here to stay...and you are always sooooo welcome...xxoo love

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Relda,

This is a special poem. I'm not quite sure of your meaning, but that's okay, because I think this poem can be interpreted several different ways. Thanks for sharing!

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016

Robyn, so good to have your review and encouragement. As Bud and I face his ALS together, we reach new depths in faith, hope and love.

Wow, it's good to be back on FS!

Regards,

Relda

Comment from royowen

Excellent

As some wise person once said, death is not final, just simply a new adventure, time is merely a journey, life a classroom for the future. Great piece of writing Relda, welcome back, I will pray for you, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016

Thanks Roy. You always get me. I covet your encouragement, prayer, and blessing. - Relda

reply by royowen on 04-Nov-2016

Well done Relda

Comment from RoostyNester

Excellent

A very sweet and fulfilling verse about what real love is. Nothing is stronger, and binds forever, as love does. Well done in style and verse. I loved your poem.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016

RoostyNester - so nice to meet you. Thanks for your review and encouragement. I'll check out your site soon to see what you're up to. - Relda

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Such a beautiful poem. Your author's notes made my heart ache. I'm sorry for the journey you and he are on. Your last sentence, "Our love persists, blessed by our changeless God," gives me the knowledge that you will be okay - sustained by your faith in Him.

The poem moves along nicely and the rhymes don't feel forced.

Thank you for sharing - my prayers are with you during this difficult time.
~patty~

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016

Patty - thank you for your review and encouragement. We both covet your prayers.

And it is nice to meet you. I'll check in at your site and see what you're up to, soon.

Relda

Comment from Poetic Friend

Exceptional

Wow? What a inspirational and memorable message in this gem! If only people would abide by your words, what a different society we will reside. This poem deserves wide recognition. Please consider sending it somewhere beyond Fanstory. Loved it, loved it, loved it. Did I say, I loved it?

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016

Poetic Friend - I covet your comments and encouragement. I'm glad you liked it.

And, good to meet you. I'll check out your site soon to see what you're up to.

Relda

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

I was 57 when my husband died and he was 70. It has been a long 21 years since as a widow. May you have a wonder filled weekend, Patricia

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2016

Patricia - so good to hear from you. And a fresh dose of encouragement back at you. - Relda