Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 426 "Revealed and Concealed"Small and Specialty Poems
9 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You are amazing, Tom. I love these seasonal sonnets you've written. What a journey you've taken us on. Your authors notes have become as much a part of your poetry as the poetry itself--and of course, the photo, that is one brilliant shot, you caught it perfectly. You shine in each part, my friend! :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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You are amazing, Tom. I love these seasonal sonnets you've written. What a journey you've taken us on. Your authors notes have become as much a part of your poetry as the poetry itself--and of course, the photo, that is one brilliant shot, you caught it perfectly. You shine in each part, my friend! :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 29-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Thank you so much Sandra. That review was so effusive that I'm blushing. Or it that glowing? I really appreciate thise stars.
Comment from Joan E.
Four, interlinked sonnets--what a tour de force! Thank you for sharing what inspired you to create this ensemble and adding your photograph of the recent, fall scene. I thoroughly enjoyed your rhythmic and rhymed poems and the way you connected them. Bravo! Here's to "nature's changing show"- Joan
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Four, interlinked sonnets--what a tour de force! Thank you for sharing what inspired you to create this ensemble and adding your photograph of the recent, fall scene. I thoroughly enjoyed your rhythmic and rhymed poems and the way you connected them. Bravo! Here's to "nature's changing show"- Joan
Comment Written 28-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Thank you Joan fir such a glowing review brightened by all those stars.
Comment from patcelaw
You constantly amaze me with the different forms you write. These four sonnets are no exception. Beautiful writing and I love the photo you used with the poetry, Blessings for a good weekend. Patricia
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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You constantly amaze me with the different forms you write. These four sonnets are no exception. Beautiful writing and I love the photo you used with the poetry, Blessings for a good weekend. Patricia
Comment Written 28-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Thank you Patricia, inreally appreciate you wonderful review.
Comment from foxangie123
I want to learn to write these. Do you know what an iambic pentameter is? I just can't figure it out. This is awesome penning.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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I want to learn to write these. Do you know what an iambic pentameter is? I just can't figure it out. This is awesome penning.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Thank you foxangie. Yes, iambic pentameter is a poem wriiten with each line having ten syllables. But mor that that, the heaviest accent is on the even numbered syllable - da Dum da Dum da Dum da Dum da Dum. So as you speak words you noticevwhere the accent us. For example:
I HAVE a FAN whose NAME is FOX ANgie. Notice that there are 10 syllables, but Angie has the strong accent on the first syllable, so the line is Not iambic.
I Have a Fan, and ANgie IS a Fox. That line is iambic pentameter.
so PAY atTENtion WHERE the ACcent FALLS
Hope that helps, ask me any time you want gelp decidng or writing. After a while it comes more naturally.
Comment from Nottoway
What an ingenious way to take one on the journey from season to season. You have managed to invite anyone who has not experienced the seasons to explore the beauty that is out there.
The use of the repetitive lines to move from one style to another is brilliant as I felt that I was stepping through a gigantic curtain onto the next stage for another act in nature's ongoing play,
Brilliantly done. You are a craftsman!
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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What an ingenious way to take one on the journey from season to season. You have managed to invite anyone who has not experienced the seasons to explore the beauty that is out there.
The use of the repetitive lines to move from one style to another is brilliant as I felt that I was stepping through a gigantic curtain onto the next stage for another act in nature's ongoing play,
Brilliantly done. You are a craftsman!
Comment Written 28-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Thank You so much Nottoway, i am very pleased that you think so, and am elated with those stars.
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I enjoy the writings. You really do entertain and educate.
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You are welcome
Comment from William Ross
a wonderful job on this string of different style sonnets, all are really great. So wish I had the 6 for you on this. all are so well done and written. thanks for sharing these or this and have a wonderful day.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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a wonderful job on this string of different style sonnets, all are really great. So wish I had the 6 for you on this. all are so well done and written. thanks for sharing these or this and have a wonderful day.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2016
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Thanknyou so much William. I appreciate the virtual six.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a major effort, and a highly successful one in my view. You have obviously been thinking about this while you were out camping in the boondocks. If three linked poems is a tiara and seven a crown this has to be a coronet. I could imagine coming back to this place again an again and observing the changes wrought by the changing seasons. I have four pictures, oils, painted by my father, of the four seasonal views of the Norfolk (England, not VA) countryside, from the house we lived in when I was a child. This poem is their literary equivalent.
English. Lovely descriptive writing with excellent alliteration (this is present in all the sonnets so I shan't mention it again) and some really good rhymes in there (compressed/coalesced). I wondered if you might consider this line:
"while bush and grasses grow below each tree." And try it as,
"while grass and bushes grow below each tree." This evens the alliteration on both the "G" and "B" rather than favouring the B; also we tend to consider grass more frequently in the singular unless we are botanists. It is just a thought rather than a criticism. I Liked the threat in the couplet.
Petrarchan. Acts like an expanded volta to the English. Interesting choice of rhyme scheme in the sestet from the many acceptable, abbaab. I have not seen many opting for that one.
Spenserian (you have a spelling mistake here (...arian) that is continued in your notes too. He was Spenser not Spensar, although the Elizabethans were not as pedantic as we are today over spelling.
Great play on the word "leaves". I love that word, really useful in repeating poetry and great euphony paired up like this.
Rubiat. A lesser known sonnet form with a really interesting rhyme scheme, aaba,bbcb,ccdc,dd.
This one's volta prepares one for the full circle of the seasons and summer's green opacity once more.
This is so well put together I have the greatest pleasure in letting go my final six star award of the week.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2016
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This is a major effort, and a highly successful one in my view. You have obviously been thinking about this while you were out camping in the boondocks. If three linked poems is a tiara and seven a crown this has to be a coronet. I could imagine coming back to this place again an again and observing the changes wrought by the changing seasons. I have four pictures, oils, painted by my father, of the four seasonal views of the Norfolk (England, not VA) countryside, from the house we lived in when I was a child. This poem is their literary equivalent.
English. Lovely descriptive writing with excellent alliteration (this is present in all the sonnets so I shan't mention it again) and some really good rhymes in there (compressed/coalesced). I wondered if you might consider this line:
"while bush and grasses grow below each tree." And try it as,
"while grass and bushes grow below each tree." This evens the alliteration on both the "G" and "B" rather than favouring the B; also we tend to consider grass more frequently in the singular unless we are botanists. It is just a thought rather than a criticism. I Liked the threat in the couplet.
Petrarchan. Acts like an expanded volta to the English. Interesting choice of rhyme scheme in the sestet from the many acceptable, abbaab. I have not seen many opting for that one.
Spenserian (you have a spelling mistake here (...arian) that is continued in your notes too. He was Spenser not Spensar, although the Elizabethans were not as pedantic as we are today over spelling.
Great play on the word "leaves". I love that word, really useful in repeating poetry and great euphony paired up like this.
Rubiat. A lesser known sonnet form with a really interesting rhyme scheme, aaba,bbcb,ccdc,dd.
This one's volta prepares one for the full circle of the seasons and summer's green opacity once more.
This is so well put together I have the greatest pleasure in letting go my final six star award of the week.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2016
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Thank you so much my friend. This is an outstanding review of the poem. I am very pleased with its technical assessment and elated with the award of the six. Ill fix that typo.and like your suggestion.Also, Coronet is a perfect nane for it.
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Thank you so much my friend. This is an outstanding review of the poem. I am very pleased with its technical assessment and elated with the award of the six. Ill fix that typo.and like your suggestion.Also, Coronet is a perfect nane for it.
Comment from rama devi
Eloquent composition--and unique, with four different sonnet styles. Fine idea! Almost a six, but there are a few nits (noted below).
The meter is near flawless, the rhyming is superb, the imagery is spectacular, and concept and delivery of thematic notes work cohesively, so well!
NOTES
Love the rhymes and phonetics and content/substance in this stanza:
When all the vivid vistas are concealed.
The paths and byways tend to be compressed.
The foliage hides the beauty, not revealed,
because the blended shades have coalesced.
Makes a potent volta. Spag:
When all the vivid vistas are concealed.(,)
T(t)he paths and byways tend to be compressed.
With edits;
When all the vivid vistas are concealed,
the paths and byways tend to be compressed.
LOVE THIS LINE and the fine alliteration:
as fall puts pretty pigments on display
in wondrous color canopy arrays
*SPAG:
that mix the foilage in artistic blends -
foliage (check spelling)
Loved reading that second sonnet aloud. Such finesse in phonetics! Bravo!
*spag:
the reds.(-- not .) resplendent treats in every way,
Love the personification of colors, especially:
while yellows, rusts, and green hues all contend.
*scansion forced on the word OPAQUE:
a tangled brush and opaque branch reprieve,
Love this line:
revealing vistas hiker's eyes perceive
as cold winds blow where winter's whims convene.
Scansion forced on Ravines (I think?):
to blanket paths of forested ravines.
Superb alliteration of L and word play on leaves:
The lack of leaves, leaves landscapes looking grim.
*optional suggestion:
Then(,) suddenly(,) the sky is filled with snow.
LOVE THIS LINE:
The stillness soon creates a silent hymn,
while woods become a crystal white tableau.
So well voiced and witty and awesomely alliterated:
Lament the lack of color, but don't go
without appreciation of brisk air,
and fresh flocked foliage flashing sunny glow,
in winter wonderland beyond compare.
The snow provides a vast pearlescent hue.
As winter wanes, the green is overdue.
Outstanding, clever couplet!
Love this line:
The seeds and trees begin renewal's churn,
*optional suggestion:
Then(,) once more(,) colors dominate the scene,
LOVELY LINE: and we will celebrate their rich return.
Eloquent volta...clever...and superb in flow and phonetics:
Yet there's a price to pay in growth's routine,
when sights will yet again become unseen,
as leaves and thickets tend to quickly grow
into a dense and denigrating screen.
Pitch perfect closing couplet:
It's all a part of nature's changing show.
So, note the scenery as seasons flow.
Nears a six. Kudos!
Masterful stuff!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2016
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Eloquent composition--and unique, with four different sonnet styles. Fine idea! Almost a six, but there are a few nits (noted below).
The meter is near flawless, the rhyming is superb, the imagery is spectacular, and concept and delivery of thematic notes work cohesively, so well!
NOTES
Love the rhymes and phonetics and content/substance in this stanza:
When all the vivid vistas are concealed.
The paths and byways tend to be compressed.
The foliage hides the beauty, not revealed,
because the blended shades have coalesced.
Makes a potent volta. Spag:
When all the vivid vistas are concealed.(,)
T(t)he paths and byways tend to be compressed.
With edits;
When all the vivid vistas are concealed,
the paths and byways tend to be compressed.
LOVE THIS LINE and the fine alliteration:
as fall puts pretty pigments on display
in wondrous color canopy arrays
*SPAG:
that mix the foilage in artistic blends -
foliage (check spelling)
Loved reading that second sonnet aloud. Such finesse in phonetics! Bravo!
*spag:
the reds.(-- not .) resplendent treats in every way,
Love the personification of colors, especially:
while yellows, rusts, and green hues all contend.
*scansion forced on the word OPAQUE:
a tangled brush and opaque branch reprieve,
Love this line:
revealing vistas hiker's eyes perceive
as cold winds blow where winter's whims convene.
Scansion forced on Ravines (I think?):
to blanket paths of forested ravines.
Superb alliteration of L and word play on leaves:
The lack of leaves, leaves landscapes looking grim.
*optional suggestion:
Then(,) suddenly(,) the sky is filled with snow.
LOVE THIS LINE:
The stillness soon creates a silent hymn,
while woods become a crystal white tableau.
So well voiced and witty and awesomely alliterated:
Lament the lack of color, but don't go
without appreciation of brisk air,
and fresh flocked foliage flashing sunny glow,
in winter wonderland beyond compare.
The snow provides a vast pearlescent hue.
As winter wanes, the green is overdue.
Outstanding, clever couplet!
Love this line:
The seeds and trees begin renewal's churn,
*optional suggestion:
Then(,) once more(,) colors dominate the scene,
LOVELY LINE: and we will celebrate their rich return.
Eloquent volta...clever...and superb in flow and phonetics:
Yet there's a price to pay in growth's routine,
when sights will yet again become unseen,
as leaves and thickets tend to quickly grow
into a dense and denigrating screen.
Pitch perfect closing couplet:
It's all a part of nature's changing show.
So, note the scenery as seasons flow.
Nears a six. Kudos!
Masterful stuff!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 28-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2016
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Thank you Rama Devi, for such an outstanding and detailed review. I appreciate the time and effort greatly.
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Thank you Rama Devi, for such an outstanding and detailed review. I appreciate the time and effort greatly.
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My pleasure, T! Blessings, rd
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written set of sonnets. The seasons change around us every day, we just need to open our eyes and notice the beauty around us. The photo is excellent and compliments your sonnets.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2016
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A very well-written set of sonnets. The seasons change around us every day, we just need to open our eyes and notice the beauty around us. The photo is excellent and compliments your sonnets.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2016
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Thank you Sandra,
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Thank you Sandra,
