Comment from MelB

Excellent

Very nice rhyme and flow in this poem about doing right. You made me smile with the two wrongs don't make a right. My husband says that all the time.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review, I am truly honored. Blessings, Badger

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

Yes this is well written my friend a positive attitude does help a person get over things . I know this isn't the same but I was very depressed didn't leave the house and decided to lose weight I have lost 91 pounds in weight do voluntary work but still have a long way to go well done on this write I enjoyed regards Jill

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review, I am truly blessed. You are in my prayers daily for your concerns. Blessings, Darren

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Great message! I like the strong rhythm -- it's lends itself well to being sung like a song. It encourages to hang on to do RIGHT even if it's hard. Minor point: you probably meant "you're" not "your only a pawn." May we all feel the "Sunlight's rays" and keep on giving and forgiving.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the correction. Darren

Comment from judester

Excellent

We all have our struggles and that is what makes us strong. The last line says it all, instead if taking, try giving.... and being thankful for making it through the turmoil. I wish you peace, love and clarity, judester

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review, I am truly honored. Blessings, Darren

Comment from misscookie

Excellent

I was just about to shut down my computer when I came across your uplifting poem
Your words captured my attention from the first line to the last
and your message is so true
Thank you for sharing and God bless you.
Cookie

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 07-Dec-2016

Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review, It was kinder, and I am truly blessed with the fact that I was able to lift you up, that is one of my goals for writing, and a review such as yours made MY day! Blessings, Darren ? : - D »

reply by misscookie on 08-Dec-2016

You're very welcome, take care
And Season's Greeting to you and yours.
Cookie

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

Amen! Love this, and it's inspiring message. I believe we go back to God when we die, to be judged, reincarnated, or to reside in Heaven, who knows...BUT, as you say...do good, do right, be happy...the keys to a blessed life! Blessings to you...

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016

Thank you, I really appreciate you sharing your perception with me, as through it I am able to gain an even deeper understanding. Blessings, Darren

Comment from Bill O'Bier

Excellent

Hello Darren:
A positive attitude can really help make dreams come true - it has for me. Just about anything is impossible if you just put your mind to it and maintain a positive attitude. Thanks for sharing this piece that reminds me of this.
Bill

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016

Thank you so much. Blessings to you and yours this holiday season, Darren

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

Some great rhyming devices in use here in what is essentially a free verse poem. This is a newish style of poetry that doesn't fit into any of the established concepts. It is not regular enought to be classified as rhyming poetry and contains too much rhyme to be classified as free verse, I have heard this sort of thing classified as free form or free style but these are the linguistic gropings of folk like me who want a pigeonhole for everything. sometims that is just not possible.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016

Thanks P I always love your interpretations. I got a REAL harsh, unhelpful review from Thal, who picked it apart and listed every non-conforming inconsistency, talking about Austrians and maintains, and I felt like defending this as MY own style. But instead, like your advice, I took it as constructive criticism, and I edited and thanked and nominated him. I evened out the spaces and removed most of the commas. Punctuation is not one of my strengths, and I would rather use too little than too much.

Comment from trumby

Excellent

A very well written poem with positive message for every reader. Good things will really come, just do good, do the right thing. I like the way you ended the poem, "instead of taking, try giving! " Wonderful message. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016

Thank you so much, trumbly. Blessings to you and yours this holiday season, Darren
If you liked this, I think that you would enjoy "To Measure the Rhyme of Frozen Time", available in in my portfolio

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

Hi, very well done and I do like your message here. You are speaking to the converted because I do try to have a good attitude. Life is a gift, so we need to appreciate it.
Your poem has great internal rhymes, and it is a joy to read. I am not sure about this word Unforgiving, it is awkward.

For when you look deep, and don't try to keep:
anger and unforgiving

Well done
Mary

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016

Thank you so much. If you liked this, I think that you would enjoy "To Measure the Rhyme of Frozen Time", available in my portfolio.