Maladies of Magnitude
A (too) quiet, quaint little village...84 total reviews
Comment from michaelcahill
Dean, I read this earlier and found it stellar. Amazing imagery and a great story with consequences for lack of scruples and morality.
I wanted to let you know that currently ONLY the last stanza is visible. I don't know what happened or if you are aware of it.
Shouldn't this be in your book?
Anyway, I loved this and hope you are able to get those stanzas restored. Your usual exceptional writing and presentation. mikey
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
  |
Dean, I read this earlier and found it stellar. Amazing imagery and a great story with consequences for lack of scruples and morality.
I wanted to let you know that currently ONLY the last stanza is visible. I don't know what happened or if you are aware of it.
Shouldn't this be in your book?
Anyway, I loved this and hope you are able to get those stanzas restored. Your usual exceptional writing and presentation. mikey
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
Evil Eddie's at work again I see.
Thanks for reading and letting me know about the missing stanzas, Mike. I'll have to check to see what's happened. I have the poem saved in Word, so I may have to re-post it all over again if worse comes to worse.
I appreciate your review, and I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.
Comment from barkingdog
Do I hear a knock, knock, knocking at the chamber door in your rhythm? haha
I knew to what you were referring by malady when I read 'festering lesions', 'die in ... sad solitude' and 'disease enwalled me'.
He doomed himself by not allowing the leper to show him safe passage through the infected town.
The artist is amazing. Perfect for your work.
:) e
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
|
Do I hear a knock, knock, knocking at the chamber door in your rhythm? haha
I knew to what you were referring by malady when I read 'festering lesions', 'die in ... sad solitude' and 'disease enwalled me'.
He doomed himself by not allowing the leper to show him safe passage through the infected town.
The artist is amazing. Perfect for your work.
:) e
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
Thanks for reading, Ellen.
I appreciate it as always.
Dean
Comment from Kingsland
This is another of your well-written pieces of poetic art. I liked that you used a good vocabulary in this poem to get its horrifying point across. I liked everything about this well-written poetic voice... John
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
|
This is another of your well-written pieces of poetic art. I liked that you used a good vocabulary in this poem to get its horrifying point across. I liked everything about this well-written poetic voice... John
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
Thank you for reading, John.
I am very pleased to know that you enjoyed the poem.
~Dean
Comment from rama devi
This is so much fun to read aloud with all those internal rhymes and repeats and fine bouncy beat with a consistent rhythm. The meter is near flawless as long as one reads file and boils as two syllables. But I can't wrap my ears around the scansion of adventure in this line:
Had I known what would befall me, adventure could ne'er have called me.
This scans as ADventURE instead of the usual pronunciation of adVENture
aigremore - love the use of this word!
Tons of fine phonetics in phrasing that augment the musicality. I'll not note all those nuances (too many!) as you know I noticed them all, but I'll mentioned my favorite lines.
These have such superb consonance of V, S and Z and alliteration of N and D:
As I stood there gasping, wheezing, it grew cold, I shivered, freezing;
there was nothing nice or pleasing in this vile Devil's den.
and here there is awesome alliteration of S, F and P as well as consonance of L, V, etc.:
Feelings of unease assailed me; what insanity now ailed me?
Had my sanity now failed me--failed me as it had before?
None within the village proper moved about, save one lone pauper.
Love assailed me and ailed me - great internal rhyme pair!
Love the inventive slant rhyme of rest here and jester
Love the rhymes of solitude, shooed and magnitude.
Love the alliterative title and closing line. Perfect bookends.
As always, fantastic presentation and artistic display.
Bravo--nears a six but could use fine tuning. There are a few punctuation spots I would have chosen differently but this does read smoothly as it is--nothing glaring.
Bravo. Impressive work.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
|
This is so much fun to read aloud with all those internal rhymes and repeats and fine bouncy beat with a consistent rhythm. The meter is near flawless as long as one reads file and boils as two syllables. But I can't wrap my ears around the scansion of adventure in this line:
Had I known what would befall me, adventure could ne'er have called me.
This scans as ADventURE instead of the usual pronunciation of adVENture
aigremore - love the use of this word!
Tons of fine phonetics in phrasing that augment the musicality. I'll not note all those nuances (too many!) as you know I noticed them all, but I'll mentioned my favorite lines.
These have such superb consonance of V, S and Z and alliteration of N and D:
As I stood there gasping, wheezing, it grew cold, I shivered, freezing;
there was nothing nice or pleasing in this vile Devil's den.
and here there is awesome alliteration of S, F and P as well as consonance of L, V, etc.:
Feelings of unease assailed me; what insanity now ailed me?
Had my sanity now failed me--failed me as it had before?
None within the village proper moved about, save one lone pauper.
Love assailed me and ailed me - great internal rhyme pair!
Love the inventive slant rhyme of rest here and jester
Love the rhymes of solitude, shooed and magnitude.
Love the alliterative title and closing line. Perfect bookends.
As always, fantastic presentation and artistic display.
Bravo--nears a six but could use fine tuning. There are a few punctuation spots I would have chosen differently but this does read smoothly as it is--nothing glaring.
Bravo. Impressive work.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
Thank you very much for reading, dear rd, and for your in depth analysis as well.
I'd already made some slight adjustments to those offending lines you mentioned. I don't understand why you were not able to see them.
Perhaps it was too soon after I'd made the changes that you reviewed this, or you were reviewing during me making the edits, if that's at all possible.
Anyhow, I do appreciate your input, as I always do.
Have a blessed week ahead.
-
Oh! Yes, I opened your poem this morning and kept the window there so I could review between my work--ended up reviewing it in afternoon! :)
Big blessings, rd
Comment from dragonpoet
Nice rolling internal and end rhyme as rolling as the hills in Ireland. This shows the results of arrogance and sin. It also is a good illustration of the adage "Don't judge a book by its cover".
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
|
Nice rolling internal and end rhyme as rolling as the hills in Ireland. This shows the results of arrogance and sin. It also is a good illustration of the adage "Don't judge a book by its cover".
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
Yep, that's pretty much the message I'd hoped to convey alright, DP.
Thanks for reading.
-
My pleasure, Dean.
Joan
Comment from Pearl Edwards
The triple treat of rhyming works well in this poetic story Dean. The Maladies of Magnitude finally get this travelling man, it was a terrible disease. Enjoyed the words and the presentation.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
|
The triple treat of rhyming works well in this poetic story Dean. The Maladies of Magnitude finally get this travelling man, it was a terrible disease. Enjoyed the words and the presentation.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
Actually the entire poem is a metaphor, Pearl, if you will. It's was meant as a cautionary tale warning others to treat people with physical afflictions and maladies the same as everyone else is treated.
Who knows...any one of us could wind up the same way one day. They deserve to be treated with respect and admired, not gawked upon and ridiculed like a sideshow attraction in a carnival.
They should never be looked upon as freaks, as is all too often the case. They are people too, with hearts that beat which can be easily broken by cold and callous cruelty.
They have feelings, hopes and dreams too, like we all do.
Thanks for reading.
~Dean -
Comment from lindafisher
The three, three, two rhyming in this is wonderfully done. Loved the story poem as always. Also thank you for the excellent video of Mr Zdzislaw Beksinski's art.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
 |
The three, three, two rhyming in this is wonderfully done. Loved the story poem as always. Also thank you for the excellent video of Mr Zdzislaw Beksinski's art.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
Thank you very much for taking the time required to read and review this piece, Linda, and for the generous six stars as well.
I am very pleased that you enjoyed the read.
Thanks again!
With gratitude,
Comment from William Ross
This is excellent Dean very well done, great story within the poem glad it's a disease noy so much today. Great rhyme ,meter is great. Thanks for sharing the story and enjoy your day.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
|
This is excellent Dean very well done, great story within the poem glad it's a disease noy so much today. Great rhyme ,meter is great. Thanks for sharing the story and enjoy your day.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
Thank you very much for taking the time required to read and review this piece, William, and for the generous six stars as well.
I am thrilled to know that you enjoyed the read.
Thanks again!
With gratitude,
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Dean,
This was a superb piece of writing. Travellers beware or meet the fate. The rhyming structure was very good and the repeating sections in the second lines worked very well. The tone and atmosphere spot on
Loved this
G
Just as a side note, I see the Mourne mountains every single day from the other side of Strangford Lough. they are stunning. I also did my Dike of Edinburgh award camping expeditions there. outstanding beauty and very eerie at first & last night.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
|
Hi Dean,
This was a superb piece of writing. Travellers beware or meet the fate. The rhyming structure was very good and the repeating sections in the second lines worked very well. The tone and atmosphere spot on
Loved this
G
Just as a side note, I see the Mourne mountains every single day from the other side of Strangford Lough. they are stunning. I also did my Dike of Edinburgh award camping expeditions there. outstanding beauty and very eerie at first & last night.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
Wow, what a sight to be able to see every waking day, Gareth.I envy you that.
Thank you very much for taking the time required to read and review this piece, G-Man, and for the generous six stars as well.
I am very pleased that you enjoyed the read.
Thanks again!
With gratitude,
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is excellent Dean. So much rhyme and alliteration. It is just beautiful in spite of being a tad bit morbid. Great work here, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
|
This is excellent Dean. So much rhyme and alliteration. It is just beautiful in spite of being a tad bit morbid. Great work here, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
It's a cautionary tale warning others to treat people with physical afflictions and maladies the same as everyone else is treated, Debbie.
They should never be looked upon as some kind of freak, as is all too often the case. They are people too, with hearts that beat which can be easily broken by cold and callous cruelty.
They have feelings, hopes and dreams too, like we all do.
It wasn't meant to be morbid.
Thanks for reading.
~Dean
