Flower in the Attic
Lives are short from birth to death.56 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Good alliteration and melody of "b" is abundant all throughout this clever little 2-10-2 contest entry, Anonymous Author.
Many poke fun at these shorter forms, but they're really rather difficult.
It's much harder through maximum word economy to say something coherently and possibly profound in nine or ten words that it is in five hundred. But many people don't seem to grasp that concept.
I do, and I feel you've done a fabulous job here with yours.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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Good alliteration and melody of "b" is abundant all throughout this clever little 2-10-2 contest entry, Anonymous Author.
Many poke fun at these shorter forms, but they're really rather difficult.
It's much harder through maximum word economy to say something coherently and possibly profound in nine or ten words that it is in five hundred. But many people don't seem to grasp that concept.
I do, and I feel you've done a fabulous job here with yours.
Best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 15-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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Thank you, Dean Kuch. This is fine praise from a writer such as yourself.
Comment from RoostyNester
A nice 2-10-2 poem. We are born, we get old, then our usefulness has no more value. We are taken to the attic. Very well done in word and verse. I liked it.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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A nice 2-10-2 poem. We are born, we get old, then our usefulness has no more value. We are taken to the attic. Very well done in word and verse. I liked it.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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RoostyNester: thank you so much for reading and commenting.
Comment from Grasshopper2
I like the photo with the image you create with the minimum of words. Your alliteration of bombastic Bs is excellent. For you consideration: change Attic to Basement to keep the bombastic Bs flowing to the end. Well done. Enjoyable read on a poem with such odd syllables.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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I like the photo with the image you create with the minimum of words. Your alliteration of bombastic Bs is excellent. For you consideration: change Attic to Basement to keep the bombastic Bs flowing to the end. Well done. Enjoyable read on a poem with such odd syllables.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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Michael: thank you so much for reading and commenting on this 2/10/2 poem. I can't change the attic to basement. I recently moved into a large house and my bedroom is on the second floor. It has slanted ceiling and reminded me of an attic. That reminded me of a book series by VC Andrews, "Flowers in the Attic". When I thought about it, it made me laugh. Thus, I came up with the metaphor about life and created this poem for the contest.
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Your explanation makes sense, and your poem is a good spin off from the books. I am a newbie with FS and blundering about the website. What is the reason you can't change attic to basement? There is nothing mentioned in the rules.
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Changing 'attic' to 'basement' has nothing to do with the rules. It has everything to do with the metaphor of comparing my living situation with the series of books, "Flowers in the Attic".
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Got you. I became enamored with the B alliteration. Yours is a wonderful poem without the added B.
Blessings, mdm
Comment from robyn corum
Well, I suppose there could be a more depressing poem, but off-hand I can't think of one. *smile* To think that a baby is born, reaches adulthood or old age and then is banished to the attic for the rest of their lives is SAD. But thanks for the image! hahaha. Good luck!
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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Well, I suppose there could be a more depressing poem, but off-hand I can't think of one. *smile* To think that a baby is born, reaches adulthood or old age and then is banished to the attic for the rest of their lives is SAD. But thanks for the image! hahaha. Good luck!
Comment Written 15-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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Robyn: I recently moved into a large house with several friends. My bedroom is on the second floor, complete with slanted ceilings which reminds me of an attic only much nicer. It reminded me of the book series by VC Andrews, "Flowers in the Attic",
hence, this metaphor about aging. It fit very neatly into the 2/10/2 constraints for this contest. Thank you for reading.
Comment from kiwisteveh
The striking feature of your little 2-10-2 poem is, of course, the alliteration on the letter B which gives this aural impact. Then the reader must consider whether the gardening terms bloom and blossom could be metaphorical and that the poem really refers to human life - in which case, being banned to the attic in old age is definitely elder abuse!
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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The striking feature of your little 2-10-2 poem is, of course, the alliteration on the letter B which gives this aural impact. Then the reader must consider whether the gardening terms bloom and blossom could be metaphorical and that the poem really refers to human life - in which case, being banned to the attic in old age is definitely elder abuse!
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
Comment Written 15-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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Thank you for reading.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written 2-10-2 poem. Our lives are very short, we must make the best of each moment to live love and laugh as much as possible.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016
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A very well-written 2-10-2 poem. Our lives are very short, we must make the best of each moment to live love and laugh as much as possible.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016
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Thank you.
