Flower in the Attic
Lives are short from birth to death.56 total reviews
Comment from johnwilson
Great! Wonderful to create something so true with such a few words. Well done and nothing needs to be changed here! Obviously, the picture captures your words perfectly!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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Great! Wonderful to create something so true with such a few words. Well done and nothing needs to be changed here! Obviously, the picture captures your words perfectly!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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johnwilson: thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. livelylinda
Comment from Rubylou
Wow, this short little 2-10-2 packs quite a punch. You have captured the cycle of so many lives in so few words.
Masterfully done with great 'b' alliteration. The choice of the word 'attic' leaves me with a cold and callous feeling. ( the work of a truly talented poet)
Rubylou
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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Wow, this short little 2-10-2 packs quite a punch. You have captured the cycle of so many lives in so few words.
Masterfully done with great 'b' alliteration. The choice of the word 'attic' leaves me with a cold and callous feeling. ( the work of a truly talented poet)
Rubylou
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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Rubylou: since you are feeling cold since reading my little poem, come on down to Florida where it is 90 degrees plus every day and the humidity so thick you want to shovel it away. LOL Thanks for reading and commenting. Tied for 2nd place in the contest. Linda
Comment from Leineco
I really had to think about this one for a while! (In a good way)
My first thought was of baby clothes and blankets, photographs
and report cards, consigned to a trunk in the attic -
But then I though of things like paintings or sculptures a once
upon a time artist might store there, or a novel an "in my youth"
writer may have boxed up and stored in a garret.
Given a while longer, I thought. . .a real attic - or the
hinterlands of the mind?
Very intriguing :-)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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I really had to think about this one for a while! (In a good way)
My first thought was of baby clothes and blankets, photographs
and report cards, consigned to a trunk in the attic -
But then I though of things like paintings or sculptures a once
upon a time artist might store there, or a novel an "in my youth"
writer may have boxed up and stored in a garret.
Given a while longer, I thought. . .a real attic - or the
hinterlands of the mind?
Very intriguing :-)
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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Leineco: the poem is a metaphor about aging and once we are old, we are send to an old folks home or maybe the family attic . . .I recently moved into a large house with several friends from church. My bedroom is on the second floor. The ceiling of my room down the middle, is about 8 feet high. (I'm 5'2" so fit just about anywhere) but it slants on both sides down to about my height. So, I jokingly call my room the 'attic'. As I was thinking that, I recalled the VC Andrews series of books about "Flowers in the Attic" and laughed out loud . . . here I am at age 68 years, sent to live in the attic! LOLOL Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. I tied for 2nd place in the contest. Linda
Comment from dragonpoet
This shows the shortness of life from birth to memory in the attic. The picture shows birth and death in nature and the words allude to human life and death.
Hope it did well in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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This shows the shortness of life from birth to memory in the attic. The picture shows birth and death in nature and the words allude to human life and death.
Hope it did well in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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drag: thank you for reading and commenting. I tied for 2nd place in the contest and won a whopping $6.88! Linda
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Linda, you're welcome. Congrats on placing 2nd.
Joan
Comment from Slythytove2
It is sad I think that age is no longer respected. All older people know more than the young because they've been through so much more. But technology has made obsolete the wisdom of age for the fast thrill of momentary revelation and cheap tricks. Too bad.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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It is sad I think that age is no longer respected. All older people know more than the young because they've been through so much more. But technology has made obsolete the wisdom of age for the fast thrill of momentary revelation and cheap tricks. Too bad.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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Thank you for reading. livelylinda
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Went to one of those churches you suggested- it's better but I'm just not filled with the spirit enough to be a contributing congregant. I'm still outside, but I'll go again. One trip does not a traveler make.
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If you ever get to Gainesville, Fl., come to Trinity Metropolitan Community Church of Gainesville. We have a female minister, fairly new to us, from Dorset, England and we all just love her.
So glad to hear that you have at least make an attempt to seek friends. My church is probably the friendliest one around. Linda
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Will Do. Have written down the name. Daughter ( don't ask) might come down for Christmas and we usually take Benni, her son, to do something when he's here. I'll have time and location then. It would be nice to meet you too.
Comment from TKField
I can really relate to this little, tiny poem thingy. I have old Aunt Rose chained up in the attic, myself. Lost her marbles, poor thing. Two bowls of gruel a day and the New York Times crossword puzzle and she's happy. Yes, that's life, one minute you're a bouncing baby, then you're in bed with a swell gal or guy, then you're back in diapers, then you're a compost heap. Like like dandelions in the wind, these are The Days Of Our Lives. Whatever happened to soap operas? Fell out of fashion, because they required patience, commitment and prolonged attention. Now they've gone the way of the plum-bob. Except for Aunt Rose who still watches the soaps every day...in her head!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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I can really relate to this little, tiny poem thingy. I have old Aunt Rose chained up in the attic, myself. Lost her marbles, poor thing. Two bowls of gruel a day and the New York Times crossword puzzle and she's happy. Yes, that's life, one minute you're a bouncing baby, then you're in bed with a swell gal or guy, then you're back in diapers, then you're a compost heap. Like like dandelions in the wind, these are The Days Of Our Lives. Whatever happened to soap operas? Fell out of fashion, because they required patience, commitment and prolonged attention. Now they've gone the way of the plum-bob. Except for Aunt Rose who still watches the soaps every day...in her head!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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TK: thank you for reading and making me laugh with your shared thoughts. livelylinda
Comment from Fridayauthor
I re-read this short poem many times and I enjoyed doing so. The 2-10-2 isn't, in my mind, a very smooth read. The ending certainly makes you stop and think.
I kept trying to think of a different word for "banned" as I think of banned from, more than banned to. Perhaps, "exiled?"
Thank you.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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I re-read this short poem many times and I enjoyed doing so. The 2-10-2 isn't, in my mind, a very smooth read. The ending certainly makes you stop and think.
I kept trying to think of a different word for "banned" as I think of banned from, more than banned to. Perhaps, "exiled?"
Thank you.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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Thank you for reading. livelylinda
Comment from Mary Wakeford
In just nine words you have brilliantly described what many people fear more than death itself. Barely existing in a smelly old folks home. A stunning and thought provoking 2-10-2.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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In just nine words you have brilliantly described what many people fear more than death itself. Barely existing in a smelly old folks home. A stunning and thought provoking 2-10-2.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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Mary Wakeford: thank you so much for reading and commenting. livelyinda
Comment from crybry67
This is a beautiful poem which captures very eloquently our journey, and also brings to light the way we and society view and treat the elderly.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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This is a beautiful poem which captures very eloquently our journey, and also brings to light the way we and society view and treat the elderly.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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crybry67: thank you so much for reading and commenting. livelylinda
Comment from Cynthia1
Nice 2-10-2. The alliteration in line 2 is very nice. An entire lifetime in one line! I am a bit puzzled with your final word "attic". Hopefully, you do not mean "cast away" or useless?( Not meant as a criticism, just a question). You have met the challenge of the contest. Good luck.
Cynthia1
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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Nice 2-10-2. The alliteration in line 2 is very nice. An entire lifetime in one line! I am a bit puzzled with your final word "attic". Hopefully, you do not mean "cast away" or useless?( Not meant as a criticism, just a question). You have met the challenge of the contest. Good luck.
Cynthia1
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2016
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Cynthia1: thank you for reading and commenting. The poem is a metaphor about how short is our life and when you are old, most consider you worthless.
I recently moved into a large house with a few different people from my church. My bedroom is on the second floor. My ceiling slopes downward on two sides which made me think of being in the attic. Then, I remembered the VC Andrews book series, "Flowers in the Attic" and laughed out loud and seeing the humor in my old self (age 68), being 'kept in the attic'. To continue my 'B' alliteration, the poem should end with me being in the basement but just couldn't get past the "Flowers in the Attic" thought! I tied for second place in the 2/10/2 contest. Linda
