Wilting Orchid
The story of a deal gone wrong.8 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
You did a good job with this, let's be honest, very lacklustre prompt! lol
Well written and a nice little fun bit at the end.
GMG
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
Hi there,
You did a good job with this, let's be honest, very lacklustre prompt! lol
Well written and a nice little fun bit at the end.
GMG
Comment Written 17-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2016
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Thanks!
Yeah, the prompt had me baffled for quite some time.
Comment from oliver818
Great story! I expecially liked the twist at the end, that was very clever m. Best of luck with the contest, and have a great day
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
Great story! I expecially liked the twist at the end, that was very clever m. Best of luck with the contest, and have a great day
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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Thanks so much for reading, Oliver. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from winnona
A very well written contest entry. I think you completed the challenge of the contest well. Tell your husband it is an orchid of a different color. a very rare plant. every time it blooms it blooms a different color. good luck.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
A very well written contest entry. I think you completed the challenge of the contest well. Tell your husband it is an orchid of a different color. a very rare plant. every time it blooms it blooms a different color. good luck.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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Thanks for reading my little story, Winnona.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Funny story. Good luck in the contest. I wrote a story that includes a statement abut the contest procedure. I hope you will read it. "Merry Christmas FanStory."
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
Funny story. Good luck in the contest. I wrote a story that includes a statement abut the contest procedure. I hope you will read it. "Merry Christmas FanStory."
Comment Written 15-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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I will look for it, Thomas. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Heidi M
Good motivation for keeping the plant alive!
My favorite line: "At the beginning of the winter there were fifteen plants in my apartment and I have managed to kill fourteen of them." Telling it like it is!
You included a cute twist by buying the wrong color orchid!
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016
Good motivation for keeping the plant alive!
My favorite line: "At the beginning of the winter there were fifteen plants in my apartment and I have managed to kill fourteen of them." Telling it like it is!
You included a cute twist by buying the wrong color orchid!
Comment Written 14-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 15-Sep-2016
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Thanks for reading this one, Heidi.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
That is what happens when you are deceptive about anything.
Lesson learned the hard way.
Touch of humor thrown in for good measure.
Should make for an interesting entry into this contest.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016
That is what happens when you are deceptive about anything.
Lesson learned the hard way.
Touch of humor thrown in for good measure.
Should make for an interesting entry into this contest.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2016
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Thanks for reading and for your kind comments, Brett.
Comment from Alex Rosel
So my husband said 'If you manage not to kill all the plants in the apartment, we'll move.' - This is a great premise for this story :-)
'Goodbye, my friend.' I whisper. - I'd have a comma after friend.
This was a nice story right up until the twist, which I found a little lame. Nevertheless it kept my attention throughout. It meets the remit of the contest. I enjoyed reading it. Good luck with the competition.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2016
So my husband said 'If you manage not to kill all the plants in the apartment, we'll move.' - This is a great premise for this story :-)
'Goodbye, my friend.' I whisper. - I'd have a comma after friend.
This was a nice story right up until the twist, which I found a little lame. Nevertheless it kept my attention throughout. It meets the remit of the contest. I enjoyed reading it. Good luck with the competition.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2016
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Thanks for reading, Alex. I've already corrected the comma thing. Thanks for noticing.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi,
= Cute little story. I enjoyed reading it.
= Strong contest entry. Good luck.
<> Made a few corrections, but please use or lose as you see fit.
<> Corrected punctuation to make =complete sentence=
= I can sunbathe and eat breakfast[.](,) [E](e)ven if I'm surrounded by weeds. So my husband said(,) 'If you manage not to kill all the plants in the apartment, we'll move.'
<> Comma needed before dialogue tag.
= I'm surrounded by weeds. So my husband said 'If you
<> Need comma
= 'Oh(,) no! It seems you have too much already.'
<> Change period to a comma BEFORE dialogue tag.
= 'Goodbye, my friend[.](,)' I whisper.
<> Always use comma with direct address.
='Hi(,) darling,' I say. 'Dinner will be ready in five minutes.'
<> Space before/after ellipses (detail ... it seems)
= little detail[ ]...[ ]it seems in my hurry
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings <> Jax
<> Published as <> Jacqueline M Franklin
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2016
Hi,
= Cute little story. I enjoyed reading it.
= Strong contest entry. Good luck.
<> Made a few corrections, but please use or lose as you see fit.
<> Corrected punctuation to make =complete sentence=
= I can sunbathe and eat breakfast[.](,) [E](e)ven if I'm surrounded by weeds. So my husband said(,) 'If you manage not to kill all the plants in the apartment, we'll move.'
<> Comma needed before dialogue tag.
= I'm surrounded by weeds. So my husband said 'If you
<> Need comma
= 'Oh(,) no! It seems you have too much already.'
<> Change period to a comma BEFORE dialogue tag.
= 'Goodbye, my friend[.](,)' I whisper.
<> Always use comma with direct address.
='Hi(,) darling,' I say. 'Dinner will be ready in five minutes.'
<> Space before/after ellipses (detail ... it seems)
= little detail[ ]...[ ]it seems in my hurry
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings <> Jax
<> Published as <> Jacqueline M Franklin
Comment Written 13-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2016
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Thanks for reading, Jax. I've made all the corrections except for one (Even if I'm surrounded by weeds.) because I like it like that.
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You're very welcome. (*<*)